What Has Ptsd Cost You?

[Rani G2]

Hey Bloomy,
when the basic structure of synaptic connections were beginning to get build under Trauma, violence, sexual abuse and so on,( I think thats something many have experienced here) I find it hard to make any comparisons. There are pathological behaviours, yes I know. Who is truly uninfluenced? Yes, there is a degree of severity, but I just cant (Only talking of myself) make any “What if it didnt happen“ ideas. My whole selfawareness is this, nothing else. Strange way to put, I cant do it better.

 

[pixel]

identity.

 

[Bloomy]

Not the ptsd it self but the traumas has caused me a life in deep poverty and a real hard battle to solve it.

All the time people try to see the positive outlook thats well and dandy and I dont disagree necessarily.

But on the pratical side to be traumatised and not being able to make sense of your self can lead to as in my case dysfunction to live normal as to take education and be in work life. That causes more problems and the circle if complete. Since poverty is a major trigger to be cnsidered when having ptsd in the first place.

 

[Heather]

Right now: EVERYTHING and its making me miserable.

 

[Hanala]

PTSD has cost me a carefree childhood/ adolescence. It has cost me self worth, security, easy laughter, flexibility, comfort, relationships, trust, etc. It has tried to eat away all that I am and all that I could be. So now begins the long difficult struggle towards happiness and sanity.

 

[Tinyflame]

Oh wow @Hanala agree whole-heartedly with every word. Exactly my experience/ perspective, though not having the words to xpress it.

 

[Deleted member 37343]

It didn't give me the social skills I needed to speak with people of my age group and I lost the joys of childhood. I still struggle to find comfort in a safe environment because it's "just too good to be true." I was never allowed to speak or hang around people my age when I was kid for my parents believed I'd be more mature if I spoke around adults, understood them, listened, conversed, etc.. but through that I also lost a huge chunk of deeper communicative skills. I never learned how young kids talk or act like and I have a hard time understanding or empathizing for them. I've lost money because my family took most of it, i've lost good relationships, my dignity, and my innocence.

I am not fully recovered and I'm still in the beginning, but right now I have an amazing friend who encouraged me to go to therapy, she is my "safety" and so is her family. She has a younger brother that is around 10 and he is not like a normal child, so it's easier for me to actually communicate and care for him. Her mother is so sweet and caring, but not to the point that she glitters the whole world.. my friend has gone through her own struggles and is helping me with mine. She makes sure I keep going to therapy and she always offers her home as a place for me to escape to(which her mother agrees with.) I am also considering getting a service dog which my doctors are suggesting due to both physical and mental disabilities.

 

[Wes43]

Hello Bloomy I can say this problem has taken over my life and I feel for you I really do. I have lost almost everything that I own. And also very important people in my life for thinking that it's all in my mind. I'm glad to know that I am not alone in this struggle.

 

[UnKnown-Self]

I didn't read all the replies. PTSD is certainly challenging to put it mildly. While I am socially clueless, I'm more insightful.
I think my brain certainly works differently but not worse. I spend too much time in my head but perhaps that makes me more creative.
I don't "fit in" never did and as I get older I don't see that as such a bad thing.
If I want any kind of healing or coping skills I have to look inward and find what works for me. That is learning self. Many assume or feel like there is something inherently wrong with us. Honestly, if I had a choice to be the unknown self I am now or some egomaniac never taking responsibility because they are better than everyone else, I'll keep me thank you very much. @Bloomy I think you should keep you too :hug:

 

[gealach]

PTSD has cost me... myself