What i want

[Alittlebitdown]

Hi,
Not sure if on the right thread/forum but I have PTSD stemming from childhood abuse from 3-8. The question I have is that, I've only recently come forward about it decades later. The symptoms of PTSD have gotten worse the more I divulge, and the mental health crisis team keep asking me what I want.... This is an impossible question for me, as I want to not have ptsd/nightmares/suicidal thoughts/I want to die/ and sometimes I just want to be happy. I was wondering, how others have handled this question when it's come up. I'm just lost right now, and I feel hopeless and helpless when they ask this question as all I want is a magic wand to make it all go away and start over.
Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated!

(Just on the medications side of this they say we just have to wait and see it they work and try different things)

 

[Deleted member 37474]

I think that your answer to the question is fair and valid! It was kind of a stupid question, really.

Let's see... I want to get through each day with zero flashbacks.

I want my abuser to go straight to hell right now as his family watches.

I want all evil in this world to vanish in an instant.

 

[Deleted member 41765]

I agree the question is a silly one, almost absurd. My smart-alec-y side would want to answer ONE MILLION DOLLARS just to see what the response would be. I admire your genuine answer. Have you told them this?

As for me, I want a day that is not driven by anxiety. I want the relentless and senseless violence in this world to cease.

 

[Alittlebitdown]

I think that your answer to the question is fair and valid! It was kind of a stupid question, really....

Thank you!!!!!
When people ask questions like this it really does make me feel I've gone mad?! I mean surely it's obvious? I want to feel better and that's the reason I take meds, see a counselor and go through the motions of life because I'm trying to believe life can get better.
Honestly felt at the beginning of this thread that it was me being stupid!

I agree the question is a silly one, almost absurd. My smart-alec-y side would want to answer ONE MIL...

Exactly!
That's the honest to god split. Whether to cry and break down because it feels like I've stepped into a upside down world or just to say "Well I'd like to die, could you help with that? Also arranging karma to go kick my abuser's a**, any ideas that I could use?"
Unfortunately I don't have the strength of will to be snarky... And just tend to just sob and just run away.
*Sigh* If only I had a Backbone.

 

[Deleted member 41765]

I usually just cry too, any and all snark usually comes after the fact! It is hard to read that you want to die. I am very glad you're here!!

 

[Deadman]

@Alittlebitdown I don't see any problem with answering the 'what do you want?' question with exactly what you said in your original post.

I want to not have ptsd/nightmares/suicidal thoughts/I want to die/ and sometimes I just want to be happy.

Thats a good straightforward and honest answer.

 

[Alittlebitdown]

@Alittlebitdown I don't see any problem with answering the 'what do you want?' quest...

So sorry about the late reply... Things have been awfully tense here.... (Couldn't sleep because of night terrors and was therefore on the edge of packing it all in, yet my family didn't want to cancel their holiday)
Anyway.... I tried that at my last session. Pulled myself up by the bootstraps and pretty much word vomited all of the above responses.
What did they say to that you ask?
Well, "Well, yes, but what do you want me to do? I mean what do think I should do to help you?"
Just shattered. Not a professional, don't know how to help myself, let alone tell someone else how to do the job they've been trained for.
So I'm now alone, as my family have gone away and I'm just shattered.

I usually just cry too, any and all snark usually comes after the fact! It is hard to read that you w...

Thanks. For the support I mean. I'm glad everyone on this forum is here too.

 

[Deleted member 41765]

"Well, yes, but what do you want me to do? I mean what do think I should do to help you?"

I am sorry to hear this. I think I would've been upset to have given my truth to the best of my ability and have it discounted through the reiteration of the original question, worded slightly differently. I'm wondering what they are thinking/why this approach? How long have you been seeing this person?

 

[Alittlebitdown]

I am sorry to hear this. I think I would've been upset to have given my truth to the best of my abili...

They're part of the mental health crisis team in my area, I see them once every two weeks. However I honestly don't know how to get any help for me from them when they act this way. The last thing I want to do is to stop going, as I'll then be labelled as uncooperative/wasting their time.
It just shatters me everytime I go.

They're part of the mental health crisis team in my area, I see them once every two weeks. Howev...

Once every two weeks since April... I see a psychiatrist Every 2 months, just to change around my meds.

 

[EveHarrington]

They really wanted you to tell them how to do their job?

I'm shocked and yet not surprised in the least.

If we knew HOW to feel better there would be no need for therapy. We'd just do it on our own!

 

[Deleted member 37085]

If this mental health crisis team in your area asks you what you want after you've told them that you:

This is an impossible question for me, as I want to not have ptsd/nightmares/suicidal thoughts/I want to die/ and sometimes I just want to be happy...as all I want is a magic wand to make it all go away and start over.

Then I would most definitely feel and think like @EveHarrington's above post! And if you've told them that you want to try and be happy, etc. and they've still asked you "What do you want?" I'd stay with them all the while trying to look and then seek out and find a trauma therapist, or a medical professional that's worked with trauma victims.

 

[Alittlebitdown]

If this mental health crisis team in your area asks you what you want after you've tol...

And that's what I'm doing working the system... I know it sounds strange but I finally asked my therapist (private) about this and she said it's pretty common all through the NHS. That none of the crisis teams are completely prepared for all the different people through their doors.
Thanks for all of your help!