Childhood trauma increases the likelihood of chronic loneliness in adulthood. These strategies can help minimize — and ward off — feelings of loneliness.
I’ve been thinking about people and places I didn’t feel lonely. How relationships I’ve had that were toxic in the long term, I had an instant connection with, we understood each other and everything. But then overtime the tables turned and the worst of their darkside or my own got the best of the relationship. I thought about when I was 16 at church camp, I felt connected to everyone there. When I went back this year I felt alone again, that I wasn’t allowed to be real or honest of who I am or where I’ve been. I think of my boyfriend and how while I love him so much and he’s weird like me, he doesn’t really understand me. I have to use very direct and clear communication, he doesn’t “speak my language”. To a vast extent, I feel this is eternal. I’m making a futile attempt to make friends online (like a dating app, but for friends) and I’m already seeing the cold reality I already know of being ghosted, rejected, how you can’t tell peoples intentions. It’s such a maze. I don’t want to be depressed and lonely anymore, I’ve felt like that persistently. These toxic relationships at least I felt really heard and understood, but I’d rather no relationship that toxic ones. I’d rather be alone than with the wrong people. But I don’t know what the right people are. I’m tired.