What Is Need To Be Repaired?

[IrisL]

A few questions...

Do you really can't do it alone? I mean if you just have counciling ?
Why you can't do it alone?

And always thinking of what's wrong in me which need to be cleared out and repaired...

I got that you been brain washed which effects on me... Can you brain wash your own self?

What is exactly damaged when the things are happened?
I was sexually abused when I was kid...

So I know I can't trust in people
Every little problem I just get really sad, depressed, - like I can't find a new shoes, burnt something when I cooked- anything which fails I fall out
No self believe
No self value
No ban series
No childhood memory
Can't focus and engage to projects which is for me...



Oh about the memory the short term memory is changes up with long term - or maybe the opposite? What does that exactly means?

Maybe stupid question but always seems I stuck and is drags me down as hell...

 

[Deleted member 19804]

When you have PTSD, your brain changes. You react differently to the world around you than you did before. This often gets us stuck in our own little world, where everything is scary and mean and you feel like you can't trust anything or anyone. Which is not true, but that is how we experience things. And because of our distorted world view, our avoiding of (potentially) triggering situations and people, the constant fear, stress, and hypervigilance, and so on, we are no longer able to get by on our own. Let alone healing on our own.

Of course, what is and what isn't helpful can differ from person to person, as we are all unique. But it is important to find something and/or someone that can help you heal, even if just to stay in reality so you can actually focus on your healing. I have PTSD from sexual abuse, too. And although I know that not all men are abusers, I freak out when a stranger gets too close to me, or when someone touches me unexpectedly. I also get panic attacks, especially when I'm under stress, and I need help to ground myself in those situations. I cannot do that myself, because I am too busy freaking out to think rationally. I need the right medication and someone to talk to when this happens. This forum can be really awesome for that last part.

I know it sucks to need help. It sucks to have to relive everything even if it's in a therapeutic setting. But it sucks the most to have to handle things all on your own. Because guess what - you can't. Nobody can. And that's okay.
You don't have to do EMDR or medication or whatever. You need to figure out what works for you. And it does not matter if that is CBT, EMDR, talking to friends, group therapy, doing yoga, mindfulness, or whatever. A professional can help you figure this out. And eventually, you will have learned many things about how to cope, what your distorted cognitions are, and what does and does not help you. At that point you will be able to do more on your own. And if you sometimes need help, that is fine too.

Take care, @IrisL . :hug:

 

[Fadeaway]

A lot of people have to go it alone or choose to. I had a long period of self isolation and and could only afford therapy twice a month. I actually made a lot of progress during that time after I was re-traumatized I went backwards in my progress, but that's besides the point. Self education can go a long ways if you don't have a good support system. Having a good support system just makes it easier.

I am not sure you can really brainwash yourself. It is possible I guess, but i think it is more likely that we just feed seeds that were already planted. Someone else plants the seeds but as a response to trauma we continue to feed those seeds and help them grow. I hope that makes sense.

Hopefully someone else can answer your other questions better than me.

 

[Friday]

Do you really can't do it alone? I mean if you just have counciling ?
Why you can't do it alone?

I've only got an answer for 2 Qs. Partial answers anyway, from my own life;

1. The first time through (the first time my symptoms got really bad) I didn't have help, per se. No counseling, etc. I did have quite a few amazing people in my life. That said... I went through periods of being unable to even fill out a lease form for an apartment, or dress myself, feed myself, etc. (Fortunately those were different periods!) Some of those I went through alone. Homeless, jobless, etc. Some of those I had people literally take me into their home and take care of me, because I was unable to take care of myself.

The second time through... I've had more help than I can shake a stick at. LMAO, at least compared to before! No therapy as yet, exactly, but people who know & understand PTSD, people I can learn from, and bounce some of my stupider ideas off of, and who have literally saved my life on more than one occasion. It's been utterly amazing to so suddenly have all of those wealth of support.

2. One can go it alone. It's riskier... As outlined briefly above. It's very easy when you're on your own to fall into unhealthy & dangerous cycles of reeeally not making great decisions. And not even know it. Ignorance is not bliss, ignorance is stupid waiting to happen. Other people don't remove those risks, but they can really help to mitigate them

 

[illusionist]

I did most of it on my own. Started with basic counceling which opened my mind to the past, and realisation of how it had some effect on me....later realising that my past had a huge affect on me and worked alone to change what I could. I've been offered medication but refused to keep taking it....believing I needed to feel my emotions in order to sort things out ( medication I was given just numbed me)...rightly or wrongly my opinion was very strong on this, at the time....and still stubborn...but that's just me.

If someone asked me now.....should I do it alone? I'd say if you have no choice, yes but tread carefully.....It is a very hard, lonely road to go down...but I know it can be done and there is far more literature out there now than there used to be and with sites like this, support, understanding, and knowledge can be given.

I know, without a doubt, that this place would have helped me a great deal in the years my symptoms were at their very worst.

Regarding long term memory......do you mean when you are physically here, in the present but your body, mind and emotions are in the past?

 

[IrisL]

To illusionist

There are books which says the short term memory will changes up with long term.
The MRI in traumatic event makes your brain looks different from who hasn't had any childhood trauma.

Lots of place say it you will be just how you were before.. Helps nothing. I was flipping 6years old - at 30years old hope will not fall back as 6years old - that's will be just ... Better to have constant flashbacks and nightmares then to fall back to be a child. I have no one who would have the patience and material backgrounf(money) to help me with that.

My question was about what does it mean when your long term memory changes up with short and short with long??

I know my past effected on me - if I'm not in the middle of it - I know - if I'm reacting by past on the exact moment I don't know it.afterwards yes, but that's to late for correction.

I'm tired to read another book about that. I'm analytical enough to I can say a proper diagnosis on myself but to label myself that will not help to control my emotions or not drift away...

I think I'm getting really tired of that and don't think anyone will stay next to me if I will not change hugely, quickly.
Yes small steps .,, what about if you don't have time for it?
Sometimes I think should go to hypnotherapy and get all the memories back - two outcome at the end which is 50-50% - I will be fine or I will get total mental and forever assylium.

Feel myself exploding because of the job and that shot and ... I need a brake and can't take any, because of the money.


Okay that's become like some sort of exploded complain....
Sorry
:/

I can't even control that.., getting really fed up with myself .

 

[illusionist]

IrisL.....that doesn't read to me like complaining....you are expressing how you feel, it's what you need.....I have great difficulty with that so I admire folks that can.

I'm sorry I cant answer your question but I'm sure someone on here will be able to.
All I can say is that it's a long process from both my experience, and what I see on here, as I'm sure you do too. To me, small steps are important otherwise we would go insane.....we can only deal with so much at a time. It took me 10 years on my own to become reasonably functional.
If you are looking for the quickest route it's got to be done via specialist help imo..and as you can see from other posters, it still takes time, lots of time.

 

[IrisL]

Thanks for the answer

I know I'm just horrible impatient with myself :/

 

[illusionist]

I'm sure we've all been Iris and I know I continue to be. Sometimes it's been good for me to be like that as it kicked me into acting on the things I needed to. Other times it just winds you up.....go easy and take care of yourself, no matter what road you wish to go down.

 

[Anarchy]

Hi Iris.
What we become as we heal is an ongoing adventure. I can understand your impatience, please be gentle and forgiving with yourself.
How you got to where you are is not your fault, where you decide to develop as a person is your journey and your adventure.

You can do it yourself, but it is good to have a reasonably intelligent person who you can trust, to act as a reality anchor, to spot when you are following cognitive distortions, or when your emotional state is limiting the options and choices which you can see.
@