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What Is On Your Mind Right This Second?

If you invest the hard work to get muscles, now well (yes I know of home workout) you see them slightly fading away, because gym visits =0, and you think what if someone wants to f* with me? Will I have enough power to punch them in the face? Cannot loose my physical strength.. don’t f* with me ?
 
Should play mikado with those 99 problems of mine.

So far it's more like Can't pull this trick, and that one neither.

At least it's stickin' to a theme.
 
-thinking about that thing in the middle of my chest...it's been rolling in waves
-breath and body scans
-how my trauma affected me in terms of relationships, friendships over my life. How I avoid new ones and pushed old ones away.
-thinking that my best bet is to learn how to manage symptoms with tools, routine. How I need to make new grooves in my brain.
-thinking it's okay to be where I am.
 
-Relieved- got my SBA loan
-Scared - Mikes child support case
-not grounded due to the pandemic
-Lost my passion for work. Went on a bid today and I really didn't care whether I got the job or not. I've been getting the crappy calls lately. Should say AR is not a 'stay at home" state.
 
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Reminder to self: If you meet moral apostle‘s you don’t have to question yourself.
If You want to buy your bogus notions, if you choose to go on a mission to spread your conspiracy theories, then Do so, If I react harshly and say directly how I feel I really don’t give a sh**. You see after 10 hours of work in a clinic wearing N95 masks for hours, having a 15 Minute lunch break, you just don’t have the Energy for some people’s delusions. And I will say the same thing again, I really don’t care.
 

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