I know it's incredibly hard to admit to yourself, let alone another person that your dealing with such issues but it's the only way to start the path that will allow you to feel normal again. Or so i believe. When I was raped I didn't tell anyone but I was forced to go to the doctor as I thought I had contracted an STD. I was so ashamed and I couldn't bring myself to talk to the doc about it other than to get medical treatment and leave. But later(about a yr) my mind forced me to deal with it. I started having flashbacks and dreams until it consumed my every thought. Then my PTSD finally pulled me so far down I was faced with a choice-I chose to go back to the doctor and get help.
I know you feel like your functioning in life so you can go on and deal with it later when your older as you say but I think that would be a mistake. Life is not meant to be this hard. If you are struggling you should seek help no matter what your current situation is.
From your post I can tell your avoidance is strong and your worry about how others will view you if they know is scaring you. I've been there. I understand.
My advice (I'm no expert) is NOT TO WAIT. Why not?Because you owe it to yourself to be YOU completely as soon as you can. Don't let time slip away. The longer you allow yourself to give in to PTSD the easier it will to rely on it in the future when life gets stressful.
I'm not sure why you say that you're afraid you wont do anything about your past until you've grown up? It doesn't matter your age, you are recognizing a problem and while reacting out online is a good start, it's not the only thing you can do. There must be someone you trust enough to at least confide in that your in need of a counselor of some sort. I find it way easier to talk to ppl I don't know and don't know me rather than my friends/family.
I know your ashamed of having ppl know your past has affected your mental/emotional self but it's true. It's reality. It happens to MANY and it is (as I have learned) a healthy way for the mind to react to try to protect it's self.
Don't allow a wound to fester. Tell someone, anyone and then another person, and another until someone gives you the proper advise to allow you some ways of making sure your past no longer affects you negatively.
Hugs.
I know you feel like your functioning in life so you can go on and deal with it later when your older as you say but I think that would be a mistake. Life is not meant to be this hard. If you are struggling you should seek help no matter what your current situation is.
From your post I can tell your avoidance is strong and your worry about how others will view you if they know is scaring you. I've been there. I understand.
My advice (I'm no expert) is NOT TO WAIT. Why not?Because you owe it to yourself to be YOU completely as soon as you can. Don't let time slip away. The longer you allow yourself to give in to PTSD the easier it will to rely on it in the future when life gets stressful.
I'm not sure why you say that you're afraid you wont do anything about your past until you've grown up? It doesn't matter your age, you are recognizing a problem and while reacting out online is a good start, it's not the only thing you can do. There must be someone you trust enough to at least confide in that your in need of a counselor of some sort. I find it way easier to talk to ppl I don't know and don't know me rather than my friends/family.
I know your ashamed of having ppl know your past has affected your mental/emotional self but it's true. It's reality. It happens to MANY and it is (as I have learned) a healthy way for the mind to react to try to protect it's self.
Don't allow a wound to fester. Tell someone, anyone and then another person, and another until someone gives you the proper advise to allow you some ways of making sure your past no longer affects you negatively.
Hugs.
