Not that I have ever disclosed my diagnosis or personal information with anyone in my workplace, other t...
Oh trust me I get it and as a woman I almost feel the same way. I suffer from GAD, panic attacks and PTSD from childhood sexual assault and battery from a young age which I had to actually testify to in open court, defend myself and face my abusers. This happened at my present job. I won the restraining order but it feels like I lost everything else.
I had to tell my boss that I was going to trial because my abuser threatened my life and the life of a family member. Now, two weeks prior, my boss was outgoing with me, joking ect. The day I went to trial everything changed, she wouldn't even look me in the face. I went to another department just for lateral moves but my night boss was harrassing me at night and blowing up my phone with text messages, I even tried to get a promotion, he said my work was horrible (I have the emails praising my audits and customer service 48 hours earlier) and said that they were looking to seek action to terminate me, so I went to the director, showed the texted and explained that all the talk at night and the hovering over me (that is a very big trigger for me ) was making me very sick. I did not elaborate but did explain that I had PTSD from assault. She I guess spoke with my boss, who told the team, they made jokes comments. I would get knots going into work because it wasn't getting better. Long story short it escalated, my boss left his close "friend" took over and was aware of anxiety issues, who in turn told me that "I didn't look like I wanted to be here and wanted to know if something was going on at home" I just blankly looked at her. Six months down the line after carrying her workload, she demotes me to the call center division were things are going well but the space is more open, I am berated daily with people screaming at me, the area is loud and the cubes are open. I can't hear, and while people are screaming at me they put me upfront where I can here EVERYONE talking to the point I just hear white noise, I had to train someone sitting behind me and it was a very hard trigger for me , I realized this person was no threat and it was not their fault that I was having this issue but after a week of training I was completely drained, I started having trouble concentrating and just kind of went through the motions of work. My boss pulls me in today tells me that I rolled my eyes at two managers (didn't happen) but I was blunt with them and I asked to be seated in the back as soon as possible because of the noise.
I tried to give her hints that the current situation wasn't working she took it as me disrespecting leadership and that I could leave any time I wanted. I apologized to the one manager who was there if I was flippant but felt an attacking coming on and a few minutes early, someone at work recognized it and calmed me down, even walked me to my car in case I collapsed.
I don't feel like I can disclose anything to management because they see something that is physically beyond my control as a weakness and fear that it will leak out to my team and they too will be afraid to talk to me like the ones before me. I cried the whole way home and talked with family. I really don't know if disclosing is a good idea to be honest, especially if your a domestic violence and sexual assault survivor. People look at you differently. I can't say if it is gender related but I don't believe so. Needless to say I am applying for every position I possibly can to leave. I take medication and see a therapist who tells me that I am revictimizing myself in my current situation just by the atmosphere and line of work alone. I have the texts and emails and have thought about going to HR but in my company, HR usually means termination. Hope this helps you and I hope I can move on as soon as humanly possible. Aside from the micromanaging this job is litterally affecting my physical health and overall wellfare.
