What Is Therapy For?

[safenow]

Good morning, Pencil.

Safe hugs for you this morning. I hope it will be a better day for you.

 

[Pencil]

Thanks Abstract and Safenow, but I'm sorry to say that it is bad and getting worse. Not emotional stuff, though - no time for that - could be homeless tomorrow unless a miracle happens

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I hope a miracle happens. I can now understand why you are feeling so bad. I think mabe you need to look into going to a shelter and getting help through them.

You can begin anew. I understand how hard and impossible this sounds but you can do it. You are in my prayers. I feel so bad for you. I feel helpless and powerless to help you. I am at a loss.

Just remember to breathe and take as good of care of you as is possible. One moment at a time. Hugs and prayers.

 

[Pencil]

I hope a miracle happens. Hugs and prayers.

Thanks Gizmo, I appreciate it

I think mabe you need to look into going to a shelter and getting help through them.

I don't live in a first-world country, and we don't really have structures like that. Rather hopeless situation. I guess this is part of the territory - trauma tends to do this - you keep things together for a while and then your world collapses around your ears.

The therapist said that unresolved trauma is the problem. The real problem is - how to go through the process of resolving it while keeping things in the external world ticking over. This was a juggling act that was just too difficult for me, and damnit, I dropped both balls.

 

[safenow]

trauma tends to do this - you keep things together for a while and then your world collapses around your ears.

You hit it right on the head. and those of us with too many traumas, life can really suck at times. I have slept in my car, slept on the beach, slept in a tent, all because of PTSD's side effects. I have prayed for a miracle in your life, you won't bcome homeless. Just remember, you can make any place a home. Just because you are there.

I remember one time, I was up on the mountain, living in a tent. I crocheted some doilies for the boxes I used as end tables. I used my sleeping bag as a couch. LOL. I used a Colman stove for lamps, and a Colman stove for cooking and heat. I was sleeping in my car in the city, before I could earn enough money to get those luxury items. Before that, I'd been living on the beach, but someone hit my car during the night and turned it into an accordion.

All because I'd been triggered and started having flashbacks at work. Then, another person broke into my place, and the next day at work, my boss touched my shoulder. I broke his nose and he fired me. I had been living from paycheck to paycheck, so life was not easy to begin with. When I got three months behind, they shut off everything, including where I was living. I'd been looking for work, but couldn't find anything I could stay at because of my PTSD.

Pencil, there are lessons to be learned in everything that happens to us. You might not want to hear that right now, but it's truth. Listen to your therapist. What she said about "unresolved trauma" means you can fix what is happening to you. It's not going to happen over night, but you can do this. I pray for you, and so do others, and I hope you will join your faith to ours and pray also.

(((( Pencil ))))

 

[Pencil]

I pray for you, and so do others, and I hope you will join your faith to ours and pray also.

Thank you Safenow. I do have a bit of money - enough for about a month. The main problem is that I don't have a car, and a daughter at school, in an extremely expensive coastal town with virtually no public transport. There is simply NOTHING available before 1 March - and if I want to get a place in March, I have to work, which means I need a roof over my head and some peace in my life. So, I'll join my faith to yours. Thank you.

What she said about "unresolved trauma" means you can fix what is happening to you.

I agree that it can be fixed, but I have to be breadwinner and mother first, and do it successfully, and only then can I look at the trauma stuff, but the moment I do that, I stop being properly functional. I get completely out of it and days go by and I get nothing worthwhile done. And when that happens, everything spins out of control and it even makes the trauma stuff worse. So, I've learned by now to leave the trauma buried in a very deep hole, which means that I cope with life very tentatively and precariously - I always feel as if I'm just hanging on, not living, not moving forward - just keeping a roof over our heads. It feels as if I have to make heroic attempts - just to get by. I'm sure many people with ptsd can relate to that. My last attempt at therapy really was the last. I hate all of this.

and turned it into an accordion

Thanks for making me laugh!:D

 

[safenow]

My last attempt at therapy really was the last.

Perhaps it's the last for a while, and that is okay. At times you need to leave the past be. But might I suggest that each trigger, you ground quickly. That way they don't get to the point where they interrupt your job. You can do a quick internal ground each morning when you first get up. I found it really sets the pattern for the day. And since you have a daughter at home once in a while, enlist her to join you.

I'll write you a note, and send the path as soon as I can. I hope it helps.

(((( Pencil ))))

 

[Pencil]

At times you need to leave the past be

I'm not overly concerned about the past per se - what happened happened. It is the influence it has on me now - my fear of people, my inability to tolerate closeness, my fear of physical contact. All of this makes life difficult on a daily basis - and not only in my personal life, it makes it extremely difficult to work. But more importantly, it has an enormous negative impact on my daughter, who is beginning to show strain. But how this could be resolved in therapy is in any case a mystery to me. I end up fearing the therapist. How do you approach a therapist for 'therapist phobia'? :oops::rolleyes::roflmao:

 

[safenow]

How do you approach a therapist for 'therapist phobia'? :oops::rolleyes::roflmao:

Good question. I wish I knew. When you find out, let me know. LOL

 

[Abstract]

I am so sorry Pencil. I truly hope something comes up. I do know that some countries have no safety net.

How do you approach a therapist for 'therapist phobia'? :oops::rolleyes::roflmao:

Let me know too! Maybe there should be a special treatment programme for this. :rolleyes:

 

[Abstract]

I do sympathise with your dilemma. I would be in a similar situation if I had a child and was on my own. Except I am in a country where there are other options. I do anything and my life grinds to a halt.

I do not know how I would manage being responsible for another human being and navigate trauma treatment.

But I do very much like what Safenow said and agree with her. And I do believe there are always solutions to dilemmas that appear not to have any. Its just a matter of finding them.

What is obvious is that you need to go way slower in therapy and have more of safety plan. That's OK as we all live and learn. And often our therapist live and learn about us as we go along too.

When you feel able and stable enough it might be worthwhile starting to gather information about what vulnerable points you have. What goes through you mind when you are in therapy.

One of the things that I have come to and not that long ago is that it isn't at all about if my response is "wrong" as all of my responses are what they are. They are a reality and have to give them a place of importance so that I can take care of them. I therefore have to build self awareness and have conversations about them in order to manage therapy. Actually doing that is another matter for me but there you go.

When you feel able I wondered what type of skills training you have had and how much you feel you are able to use them when you need them.

 

[Pencil]

Zero skills training. The problem is in the area of relating, being close, being in a relationship (from neighbour to colleague, to lover - all of it). If I didn't have this problem, I wouldn't have considered therapy - as therapy is supposed to be 'corrective'. My therapist said she went too fast. But that is over now.