What Is Your Inner Child Feeling Today?

Changing4Best

MyPTSD Pro
Thank you all for joining in with this thread! :)

I've been having some not-so-amazing dreams lately as well @Changing4Best
:hug::hug:

Last night my inner child spoke this clearly:
I do not want to grow up before I have the chance to feel safe as a child.
I do not want to grow up before I learn to play as a child, not as a child attempting to preserve my childhood.
Wow, that's awesome. I will have to listen for clearer messages like yours here. I often say no to my inner child's wishes and plans. I do know one thing, she always wanted to be an artist. I have to be more of an artist, the kind that gets Nana's fridge as her gallery. It doesn't have to be so perfect either. Just express what going on in life.
 

ninja

Sponsor
@Changing4Best thank you. It was a surprise to receive such an explicit message!

I understand. . it's so-so hard to trust that their wishes, dreams, ideas, and plans may pan out.

The art does not have to be perfect--true! It doesn't even have to be serious or make sense. Still trying to absorb this one myself, lol.

How does your inner child feel when doing art?
 

Changing4Best

MyPTSD Pro
I like seeing the thing develop before my eyes, like magic. I love getting all the attention and compliments when I show it to people. Inside there is a joy sometimes when I do the art, also when I complete a piece. I hate it when I make a mistake. I get mad. I think inner child feels like I blame her for the mistakes. I don't know what to do about all that last.
 

Movingforward10

MyPTSD Pro
I've been working on this in therapy. My inner child is very confused and quite negative. She constantly tells me to shut up and forget about it and to not be dramatic as there are no emotions that are needed, move on.
My T says we need to work on where my inner child got these messages from. So more memories have been coming back whilst I have been thinking about this. I simply do not have a memory in childhood where any upset I felt was acknowledged, I can only remember it being ridiculed and dismissed. And I *think* I'm starting to get it and starting to feel a little compassion for inner child me rather than frustration, hate, annoyance, etc.
At least that is the feeling right now.
Until angry inner child takes over again and all this is lost again.
 

Teasel

MyPTSD Pro
And I *think* I'm starting to get it and starting to feel a little compassion for inner child me rather than frustration, hate, annoyance, etc.
That sounds like a really important step towards healing :)

I've had a couple really good experiences lately, I mean really good ~ nothing major for anyone else prolly but big deal for me.

And I'ce been stepping out my comfort zone a bit.


So inner child is feeling such grief! Sadness, stuck in this distracted state where she can't find solace.

Am doing as god a job as I can to be there for those feelings, have a lil self compassion & that.

I find it quite excruciating putting myself out there, and good experiences tend to make me grieve.

It's what I want though.

Lol I guess I need to do exposure therapy for good stuff :D
 

Movingforward10

MyPTSD Pro
Thanks Teasel! (I haven't learnt how to do quotes and things yet!). It does sound and feel like a movement forward. And I've (I think) decided to ask my mum about one of these memories and ask what she thinks about it. It is a story she has always told people as though it is a really good joke. She finds it really funny. It's the time she pulled my tooth out, chasing me round the house whilst I was crying and running away from her. I think I must have been 5 or younger as we moved from that house when I was 5 (so young for wobbly teeth, but I'm assuming the tooth was wobbly). She shouted to my sister to catch me. I shouted to my sister to help me, really really thinking she would. But she didn't: she pinned me down and let my mum pull my tooth out. And then my mum was satisfied. And I remained sobbing. And my poor sister (who I have spoken briefly about this too a few years ago), felt torn between us (she still does). I don't remember my mum pulling anyone else's teeth and she never pulled any of my teeth again. But I want to ask her what she thinks about it. Because adult me isn't prepared to carry on pretending this is an amusing story. Inner child me is still telling me to not think about it, no feelings, it was funny even though feeling scared isn't funny, it needs to be thought of as funny.
Sorry: a little off topic but where my thoughts are at!

And right back at you with the important steps towards healing, Teasel. Going out of your comfort zone. Go you!
 

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
Littlest- abandoned and ignored. Typical. Never know how to meet his needs cause there are soooo many and he's never satisfied.

9yr old- annoyed. Frustrated. I think 9yr old and 11yr old (maybe)are on the same page here. Most of my anger and frustration comes from them. They were way better at surviving and just doing what needs to be done. The fact that I suck at life now pisses them off. I didn't use to be so weak and pathetic and useless.

So - I'm currently stuck between anger thats threatening to explode outwards and wishing I could curl up in a little ball in a closet and hide from the world forever. They're both feeding each other.

Working on ignoring them both right now and just getting through the day and getting something- anything! done.

Good times. :meh::shifty::unsure:
I have better results with quelling the noise when I take time out and do something that they'd particularly like, or set aside a time to play or do something that would redirect them to feeling more positive. It might be art, working with clay, a movie (now on TV-cause theatres are closed), a hike, fishing, riding the lawnmower (that satisfied all insiders-like taking a baby for a ride in the car), going to a farm or the zoo or doing photography. You might consider giving them attention...the attention they didn't receive when they were young.....and might find that they will be more cooperative and receptive when you need them to.
 
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