What kind of flashbacks do you get?

[InsertCoinsHere]

I've recently felt invalidated by many health care professionals that appear to lack awareness in Complex PTSD.

In the past I had a period of flashbacks (visual whereby I retrieved memories I never knew I had and the accompanying feelings of terror) and then followed with intense panic attacks. Over a period of months these began to lessen (in particular the visual flashbacks). I am now at the point that the only flashbacks I get are the Complex PTSD kind whereby I feel a gradual build up and then sudden intense feeling of hopelessness (it's never going to end feeling), fear, shame, guilt and essentially like a terrified child. I no longer get the visual flashbacks or panic attacks. This is not to say the condition is easier to manage as now rage, dysregulation, insomnia and freeze dissociation are more apparent.

My point being that healthcare professionals don't seem to be aware of the other symptoms of Complex PTSD, all they hear is 'PTSD' and then ask do I have flashbacks.. I try to describe the flashbacks I get now and they discredit it as I believe they only believe movie style PTSD flashbacks are valid.

I find this incredibly provoking and frustrating as healthcare professionals are openly questioning my diagnosis and are being very careless with what they say around me.. (a recent psychiatrist even openly joked that maybe I had made up that I had been sexually abused).. Hence I left that appointment suppressing rage which then I released in rage by kicking a sign and breaking my toe.. Its so frustrating as I'm doing my best to stay even and these professionals are causing me more harm. Some suggest it's simply depression but that's not they case, I've had a diagnosis from a psychologist for Complex Trauma however that diagnosis was in Australia and now I live in UK so the medical records aren't on my UK medical file. It's making me angry I've gone through so much and only want to get well and then it's implied I'm making it up.

My questions are:

1) If you have CPTSD or PTSD what kind of flashbacks do you get, how often, do they come and go, did they reappear during therapy?

2) Do those with CPTSD often have great difficulty with having their diagnosis taking professionally? How can I get them to take it seriously?

3) Any tips to help manage bubbling anger from being invalidated would be helpful.. Most distress tolerance techniques I'm using aren't really helping.

Thanks.

 

[shimmerz]

If you have CPTSD or PTSD what kind of flashbacks do you get, how often, do they come and go, did they reappear during therapy?

I rarely get flashbacks now. When a huge stressor is happening, yes, but they no longer follow the 1000 flashbacks a day standard that they used to.

Do those with CPTSD often have great difficulty with having their diagnosis taking professionally? How can I get them to take it seriously?

Not sure that C-PTSD is an actual diagnosis yet. Some doctors say I have C-PTSD and others don't recognize it. I know I have it and I am pretty self directed when it comes to my healing because I learned a long time ago that doctors don't understand my experience.

Any tips to help manage bubbling anger from being invalidated would be helpful.. Most distress tolerance techniques I'm using aren't really helping.

The only way I could stop it was by leaving the medical profession behind and continue with my own recovery. The invalidation was very bad for me. I can understand where your anger is stemming from.

Not sure if this helps at all, and I have no idea what country you are from or your financial situation. I have a therapist currently who has experienced the catatonia that comes with my symptoms. That is really helping the therapeutic process for me. She is super validating.

 

[Virtues]

Well I will start by saying I don't know what C-PTSD is... (I know what it stands for, but I don't know what it means) I've heard so many different explanations on this website from PTSD combined with another axis II personality disorder. I've heard PTSD caused from multiple traumatic events (I fall in this category, but my diagnosis is "chronic PTSD") Anyway, I think PTSD is PTSD, complex or not, and the symptoms and treatment are the same so individualizing it is just going to narrow the advice you may be able to get on this topic. That's just my opinion. But since I suffered multiple traumas, and I think I fit in the category you speak of, I will weigh in on this.

I get flashbacks when I'm triggered. I can't tell when I'm going to get triggered; I can't predict it. One day a neighbor down the street was cutting boards on his table saw; when the wood hit the saw blade it sounded like a child screaming. That was enough to trigger me to have a flashback. I've been in other instances where an actual child has been screaming in distress and I have not had a flashback; I can't figure this out, nor do I try. I've been in this one area that resembles an Iraqi market place. I've been there like a hundred times with no problems, but one time down there the stars must have aligned because I had a flashback and I was in Najaf navigating through hostile territory. My point is it does no good to try to predict your triggers because it is unhelpful; the list is infinite and could hit you at anytime anywhere. What's important is to recognize your cues (or early warning signs) the physiological changes to your body prior to having a flashback, so you can interrupt it before it happens. When I learned how to do this the number of flashbacks I had became fewer and further in between.

The first step I take in battling flashbacks is doing my H.A.L.T. checks (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) periodically through the day. If any of these things are off I will try to fix them before they start to become a problem. Believe this or not it helps. Next is recognizing your cues; I can't tell you what physiological changes happen to you just before a flash back, but I can tell you what happens to me: hyper-awareness, auditory exclusion, feeling like my hair is standing up. When these things start to happen I need to ground immediately otherwise I'm going for a trip.

One other tip of advice I will give you is be proactive in your relationships and operate outside of your comfort zone this will expand your zone and lessen your likelihood of having a flashback. You can do this by doing 1 thing each day (that you wouldn't normally do, but is beneficial in your recovery) in each of the pillars of your life.

Physical Health - Do something outside of your comfort zone that will benefit your physical health it will be good for your body as well as a confidence booster and you will feel accomplished when you are finished

Spirituality - This doesn't necessarily mean religion (don't get the two confused) if walking on the beach or through the woods is what you need to do to reconnect to your spirit than do that; the key is to reconnect.

Family - Do something for your significant other, kids, mother, father, siblings or with them that may be out of your comfort zone. It will help strengthen those relationships and base them on something positive not something centered around your symptoms (which can be exhausting for a caretaker)

Work - If you don't work than volunteer. The greatest feeling in the world is to be constantly expanding, and giving back. If you can do this it will give you a sense of purpose which is instrumental in feeling good about yourself and combating flashbacks.

One thing in each of these areas each day will make a huge impact on improving your quality of life and decreasing the frequency and intensity of your flashbacks. I wish you the best of luck in your recovery.

 

[InsertCoinsHere]

This is really insightful thank you!

I have never heard of HALT but thinking of all the times I have been very stressed those signals have been there.. It relates highly to my arousal symptoms.. Very useful to look out for thanks.

Your so right about doing for others, sometimes I forget how difficult it must be for others to go through this with us, I try my best to see it from their perspective however PTSD rarely gives much of a break during turbulent times and I get caught up in wanting everything to be perfect now. I'm going to look up volunteer work now, I keep telling myself I'm going to do it but never find that 'perfect moment'..here's to a brighter outlook. Thanks.

I think that's the problem is that is isn't recognised, I was diagnosed Complex Trauma so that's a bit more well known as the term was coined quite a bit before Complex PTSD and I was also labelled Developmental Trauma Disorder at one point however I feel that is used more with children?

I'm not caught up on the diagnoses they can label it what they like as long as the treatment plan is appropriate, and that's precisely my issue is that the local mental health unit have no clue how to tackle this. It appears they want to use standard CBT and mindfulness sessions which will help slightly but not touch the route, I feel you are right that going private is the best option instead of getting invalidated constantly it's actually been quite retraumatizing lately as neglect was a large part of my trauma so it hits a lot of core triggers when they invalidate me.

My focus now is going to be getting stablised enough to hold down a part time and then full time job so I can earn money to pay for a well qualified professional with experience in CPTSD. And use a variety of modalities to hit the trauma e.g. Hatha yoga, creating music, exercise, meditation, spirituality, mindfulness walks, connection with friends, TRE..

Thanks for the support

 

[EveHarrington]

Anymore I don’t know what’s an emotional flashback or a child part rising to the surface or....? I guess this is the drawback of using multiple therapeutic modalities! Don’t get me wrong, I definitely know when I’m having a more serious emotional flashback, it just gets hazy when the reaction is not as severe. KWIM?

I think my medication has really helped in this realm as I’m less reactive overall. I’m also being more proactive in using coping skills on an hourly schedule (phone alarms) so that I can throw a wrench in the gears of my brain dysfunctionalty before things get bad!

 

[jade53]

Sorry if my answer to number 2 was to self-exile to Asia seven years ago. I don't recommend that but if it's of any solace it was after enough of all the "difficulties with the law I had encountered all my life" (that I was suddenly having trouble comprehending after around 24 years in varying levels in law enforcement), the only therapist who was willing to listen and connected all the dots in the diagnosis, disappeared.

Regardless, if you want to find someone that might listen better my advice is to go to an addiction clinic and tell them you want help getting off the medications safely. In my case it was so I didn't have Ontario Provincial police officers taking me for a bogus psychiatric assessment to successfully discount testimony and be put on the national computer as being a potentially dangerous person when refusing to take my medication."

My biggest problem is that I know police procedures too well. But I'm not implying they had as much to do with the disappearance of my therapist as the psychiatrist that I probably made look very bad "in the community" did when I gave up on him and went to see if someone at an addiction clinic might be more willing to listen.

As far as I'm concerned the doctors had more to do with mine manifesting to the point I was terrified that if I continued trying to get assistance I would probably seriously hurt someone and that would be the end of my freedom. I'm looking forward to when I get to say Freddy's back.

Don't ever think you're alone.

 

[mumstheword]

Have you read the book COMPLEX PTSD: From surviving to thriving, By Pete Walker?

It is very helpful for those of us that identify with the diagnosis c-ptsd.

I had to go private for an inpatient trauma and dissociation program, as public health system just brought more invalidation, misdiagnosis and retraumatization.

Sorry that, you too, had to go through that.

 

[Lionheart]

I have C-PTSD however, I rarely get flashbacks anymore, as I have many years of therapy working for me.

The flashbacks I used to get were visual, emotional, ...sometimes they physically hurt, and I found it deeply disturbing. I would suddenly not be in the same time and space as everyone else and it was scary. I would lose blocks of time when I did not know where I was at or what was actually going on around me.

Also, I could be walking around at the mall and suddenly have body memories that actually were physically painful. and I would feel embarrassed or think that every one knew why I was hurting,

I was watching preview of a movie once, and it happened to have a gang rape scene in it that triggered me really hard, so that friends had a hard time bringing me back to the present time and place. I guess I dissociated.....it was like I would actually leave my body when I would get triggered.

Thankfully those seldom ever happen anymore...., grounding techniques would help me stay in the present.

 

[jade53]

@Lionheart777
Speaking of triggers from a movie, the last one I remember was from watching A Beautiful Mind. It caught me so off guard when Chris Plummer told Russell Crowe that his job with the government was all in his schizophrenic mind and he had to be committed, I almost destroyed my computer.
At least I can almost laugh at myself for that now, (too).

 

[Lionheart]

@jade53 I am happy you can almost laugh about it,

I liked that movie. I have a younger brother that suffers with undifferentiated schizophrenia, his is relatively mild if that makes sense, (he does not hallucinate as much as some others do), but he still is in an assisted living facility. Anyways, I thought 'A Beautiful Mind' was a good movie.

I have to be careful when I watch movies and learn as much as I can about them before I watch them, ….it is a tricky process. Sometimes I will get a little it triggered but I avoid excessively violent movies when I can,, but ya never know what might trigger ya sometimes. I know what a lot of my triggers are, but not all of them.

good thread!!!

 

[MyWillow]

I don’t know why these things happen. I can’t relate them to a memory. Started to happen during T. My T decided that discussing my childhood was not the best idea but I cannot calm my damn nervous system down. I’m only guessing they are flashbacks.

- dissociate and all senses and sense of time go although I think I’m staring. Big blank then come back into the room feeling like I’ve been hit by a truck. Petrifying.
- visual snapshot of a silhouette standing in the doorway.
- nightmares that are like the above - visual snapshot, out of body experience, frozen panic. Not like regular dreams.
- smell of vomit in the shower
- emotional - still getting a handle on this as it’s not something I’ve talked about. It’s kinda normal.

 

[InsertCoinsHere]

I found the book extremely helpful and helped me to understand myself massively.

I agree it seems private options are the only options accomidate CPTSD much better. The UK national health service has Complex PTSD on its online website of diagnoses however they don't appear to know how to accomidate it. Its a 2 year wait for EMDR near me, the NHS mental health care unit is totally underfunded, even in most countries to be fair mental health is side lined in funding it's awful.

What inpatient unit did you go to? Was it in the UK? Thanks