Relationship What Kinds Of Things Do Supporters Have Questions About?

[kittiekittie]

I had a meltdown and it is the first time my significant other has really seen me in that kind of state. I asked him if he had any questions about anything that had happened and he said no. I want him to ask questions because I want to explain how and why things happen - I don't want to hurt him or have him be confused by anything I do unintentionally. I point him towards resources and things that can help (and advised that he seek out his own therapy), and I know this is all going to be individual to whatever relationship you are in - but what kinds of things as supporters don't you understand? What kinds of things helps you to understand? Or what would you like to know about your sufferer that you can't get an answer to? I really want to know how things look from the outside, because I cannot see.

 

[discarded]

My first question would be 'Why do you shut me out?'. You seem willing to discuss things when my sufferer will not. 'Do you feel judged by me in anyway?', 'What stresses you most?', 'What do you want most from me as a support person?', 'Will you tell me when you want to just be left alone?', 'What are you afraid of in seeking help?'

Things I can't ask him at the moment, 'How are you today?', 'Would you like to see your daughter?', 'What are you feeling about our relationship, is it over?', the list is endless really.

From the outside it is so difficult because even if we know what caused your PTSD and that you are having trouble with it, we can't really understand what you are feeling. I feel helpless most of the time and a failure for not being able to ease his pain and fix him. I feel hurt that he won't let me help in anyway. I can't seem to make him understand that I do not judge him, that I do not think he is weak for not coping with it all, that I love him PTSD and all.