What Made You Angry Today?

[ms spock]

That I have so much stuff to deal with and sort through. That I have stuffed so many things up.

 

[KP the nut]

Maybe it can be your new years resolution to lose it all again? Try not to be too hard on yourself, it's really easy to do at Christmas. Plus, you lost it before, so you can do it again. Still, I get why you're p****d off.

Oh I will and I am :tup:.

It is cold in my office and an inconsiderate woman just came in, left the door open, sat at my desk and asked to book transport for herself (I work in community transport). I asked her to please close the door.

I bet she would soon shout if I went to her house and left her door open.

 

[MissMacD]

I had a terrifying dream, then was woken up in the scariest part of my dream by my doorbell. It was hours before I usually woke up so I am sleepy and grouchy.

I have been to the welfare office half a dozen times dropping off the pile of forms and documents they asked for and it still isn't enough. It is so frustrating that I am someone who actually needs the help and it is taking so long for me to get help. I have no money left and it is straining every bone in my body. It takes a up to 2 hours round trip to commute there and home.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

Having someone trigger my anger and finish their comment with a snide remark. And when I tried to utilize my right to ask to not argue.. to be told they're going through a lot too right now. Forgive me for being narcissistic or selfish or whatever.. but, when I'm trying with all of my efforts to keep my composure.. it's a real struggle to see past my anger to be understanding in that moment. And I feel like my post makes zero sense :arghh;:banghead::banghead::banghead:.

 

[safenow]

I needed to talk to my T today, but because of the storm and snow I couldn't get there. I'd have had to walk, and I can't walk that far on a good day, let a lone one that's so cold and slippery. I'm also thinking my T doesn't give a da** anyway. He didn't email me back. He didn't phone me back. Nothing. But I know I'll be charged for the missed visit. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

 

[Noel]

I am in a seething internal rage about the guy who hit my car, and then smuggly drove off. It was a hit run, he was caught a couple of days later, but I still have to take care of all the details of the accident! There is an accident report to file or MY license will be suspended. There is ALL the communication with his insurance company, or I won't get a settlement. It's pages of detailed entry that I don't have time to do. The insurance company totalled my car, instead of simply giving me a rental while having the car repaired. NOW I have to find another car, and the insurance company hasn't offered me near enough money to buy one, AND I have to get all kinds of treatment for all the pain in my back and joints that I don't have time to get. I HATE THIS, AND I HATE HIM, AND I WANT TO GET HIM AND FORCE HIM TO DO ALL THIS WORK FOR ME THAT I NOOOOOOOOOO TIME FOR. I am now in complete overwhelm while I am also trying to build my business. There is NO TIME and I feel enraged about this, as well as enraged at the guy who hit me. I can't settle down enough to be able to even begin to address all this. I need to write curriculum for my students, and lesson plans, and my grandkids need me today. So, I'm sitting here, writing about this to all of you, while I should be doing the damm paperwork which I loathe. I feel like a failure. My brain is spinning and it is only two oclock now. I hate this. I hate myself, and I especially, truly DETEST this PTSD which never should have happened to me!

I saw his face while he hit me. He was smiling! He must have been high or something. I'm glad somebody has time to get loaded or drunk - I sure don't. I'm too busy cleaning their messes!!!! I hate it!!!

Thanks for reading this.

Noel

 

[Noel]

Hi Safenow: " I'm also thinking my T doesn't give a da** anyway. He didn't email me back. He didn't phone me back. Nothing."

I feel the same way about my T Safenow. I had to cancel after the accident because of no car, and too much pain and trauma. He hasn't even called to see if I'm alive. I don't think he gives a sh__. He could have at least left a message to see if I'm getting any better. There has been nothing. I have shown up every week for ten years, and have invested $15,000 on my healing, and not even one call.

Because of the abuse, I have attachment disorder problems, and, after beginning to trust him, I could have at least received ONE damm call about my recovery. Jees Lawees. So, I haven't called him to reschedule appointments, and I am wondering if I am ever going to do it. Something is the matter here, but I can't name it. Sometimes I wonder if I am even making progress because right now I'm in an overwhelm about the accident, all the details, having to get another car, and no time to do it all because of the pain from the accident and other priorities.

 

[Sailorgal]

(((Safenow)))

Oh how frustrating!!!! You know you have a record of calling and emailing him so point that out to him. I'm sure others had a difficult time commuting as well. Better to be SAFE and warm. You have us here if you need support. :)

 

[Sailorgal]

Noel,

Breathe, breathe, breathe...Accidents and all that comes with it is sooo overwhelming. Do the urgent things first like the claim. It's a hassle but let the other details come as you can handle. Besides, they will not process as lightning speed anyhow. Make sure your medical is well covered-its more important than the car at this point. Good luck!

 

[Noel]

(((Safenow))) You have us here if you need support. :)

Thank you so very much, and I do feel this support. Today turned out all right. The paper work is still hanging, but all the piano lessons (that's by business and living) were good. You are right about others' comm. problems with him. His work hasn't been bad so far. It took me years to cough my story out, and face the reality of the damages I have to repair. He was very good about this, and I have to remember, he is there to put me, professionally, on my own 2 feet, and not enable me to be dependent on him. Thank you so much for your answer, it was very supportive and comforting. You are right, it was cold here today in Oregon, and very nice to be warm.

 

[Noel]

Besides, they will not process as lightning speed anyhow. Make sure your medical is well covered-its more important than the car at this point. Good luck!

Thank you so very much for this insight. I DO have the claim in progress. Just got an overwhelm on the other details like and accident report and stuff. Thank you for the reminder to breathe. How good I am at reminding my students to breathe, and I'm sitting there holding my breathe sometimes. EEEK. Thank you so very much, and what a wonderful site this is.

 

[Noel]

I wish I could beat my depression with a big stick

OH, that was soooo funny! Me too! While I'm at it I would like to picture it withering and whimpering away. Oh! How is has seized control of my life at times. Best to ALL of us with this "wonderful" fall out from the abuse, and the lifetime war with ourselves it caused. Are we supposed to learn from our difficulties, and turn them into something positive? Oh well, here I go for another St. John's Wort pill. Gulp. Hope it works.