What Made You Angry Today?

[goingonhope]

Not so much what made me angry - as I'm feeling angrier and angrier the more frustrated and scared I am with meeting time deadlines today and with having to suck up all this anxiety I'm feeling over numerous anticipated outcomes.

Going out of this house today alone and having to follow through with an important appointment for which I desperately wish to avoid, (and should not), is pissing me off beyond fear and agitation.

Less than two hours. - Racing around this house and feeling like I must accomplish all this and that this morning and while blotting out what I may be overlooking, as well as, what I know I am and my frustration of what I'm unable to have squeezed into an already now passed morning, - makes me so damn angry, because I am am afraid.

Truthfully time running out, as well as, the concept of time running out and deadlines and too many demands blotting out living and breathing has been filling me with fear and anger now for just too long. And, I suck this frustration, fear and anger up.

Stopping here as the visual I was about to just now walk myself into is gruesome and very frightening to me. ......

 

[TwoDee2ThreeDee]

My boss gave me a script to send a message to parents. It had an error on the day of the week for the event we were announcing and I didn't proof it. Had to send out a new message to correct it. Can't figure out if I'm angry with my boss or angrier with myself for not slowing down enough and proofing.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

Having something important to me minimized.

 

[Miss_Understood]

The neighbor leaving smelly rotting garbage on the porch and attracting coyotes.

 

[franciemarnie]

My brother being so unpredictably cruel to me all my life. Me always stupidly adoring him. I feel like I've always been like a puppy approaching him hoping he'll be kind and loving and never knowing when I'd get kicked. I only woke up to this at the age of 56. That makes me mad. I'm mad today. I'm mad he was such an - expletive - and angry that my system would dissociate all those times and that I too buried the pain - with painkillers. I'm angry so much of my life feels as if it were wasted. I'm angry my father was abusive and cruel and my mother colluded. I'm angry that innocent powerless children get hurt and there is no one to protect them.

Can anyone guess I'm writing this at 3:30 in the morning? Why do those thoughts and feelings especially emerge then?

But I'm glad I know what I know now. Though he's my only relative, I won't put up, can't put up with it anymore. So much for Thanksgiving.

Shuddering sigh.

 

[nomedic1]

Feeling so isolated

 

[Britt.f7]

That I have a cavity that needs to be treated. I thought something was up, that is why I finally made an appointment for a cleaning. So part of me feels relieved in knowing I wasn't just imagining things.

 

[therisa]

The library computers for being so unpredictable. For the third time, in a week, they have crashed outright. For my lack of energy to do anything, beyond sleep and cuddle up with my cats.

 

[Britt.f7]

That I lost partial vision while in the grocery store and now my head is starting to hurt. It isn't as painful as a migraine so I should be thankful, as that is what usually happens when I lose some of my vision.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

People pushing themselves back into my life. I am unsure if they are wanted.

 

[Britt.f7]

That I have been wanting to sleep more lately. My husband is getting concerned and apparently so is my 14 year old, as this is what happened last year before I ended up in the hospital. I'm wondering if I am in denial about it as I think some of it is my medical illness. The other part I know is not good, but that I have not admitted to my husband.

 

[Abstract]

Lots of anger lately. Lots of anger at myself for making a mistake at work - or should I rather say having a problem at work. Angry at mssing the train because of the notice board. Angry that H messed up bank payment. Angry at being held in an automated cue on phone from mobile which means extra telephone charges. Angry at people wondering around looking at the sky instead of being aware of other people and getting out of their way. Angry at my mother for constantly contacting me recently. Angry at myself for not responding to families messages. Angry that I struggle to discuss things to the extent I do. Angry that I am not healthy and cannot function properly.