General What The Heck Is Going On With This?

[desperate]

I haven't been on here in a while, so I suppose I should start with an update. My husband seems to be making an extra effort to be nice lately. That's a welcome change from the constant blowing up over little things. However, over the past week or so, he's doing some other things that concern me. I don't know how to describe it, other than he seems "out of it". He zones out and doesn't seem to know what's going on half the time. He's easily confused. And he spends a ridiculous amount of time sitting on the couch just staring at the walls. When he's doing that, he doesn't notice ANYTHING going on around him. I almost wondered if he was using illegal drugs of some sort. But being in the military, he has to take periodic drug tests, and has passed all of them with no problem. I'm worried that the stress got to him so much that he has just sort of detached from everything. Is this typical? Should I be worried about it?

 

[anni]

Hi Desperate,

I'm not a military sufferer, but an awful lot of what you described sound terribly familiar. The zoning out and easily confused I know have been a source of HUGE frustration for me in everyday life, and seem to be a really constant theme here in the forum.

I really do not wish to say too much, since my trauma sources were different and perhaps the military victims of PTSD vary in reactions. I just am not well informed enough to assume anything one way or the other. You did seem to be asking if these symptoms were at all not normal for the diagnosis so wished to at least give you the comfort of sayng that I don't think so. They seem typical enough, although I can't say whether you should be concerned. It sounds silly to say ' Well don't worry, it's just the PTSD '.

I think you must know him better than anyone, so if you are genuinely alarmed because his behaviour just FEELS 'wrong', perhaps you should approach someone who can ascertain what exactly is going on for both of you.

Thanks for being a carer. I really hope you're taking care of yourself as well as you seem to be taking care of him.

Anni

 

[ISupportHer]

Dissociative episodes? Can be anything for a slight zoning out to much worse. I do know there are some threads on it the sufferers area.

I am not real familiar as to the reasons when combat is the trauma but have read that they can be a protective mechanism and kind of like shutting down when one cannot deal with something.

ISH

 

[Nicolette]

Sounds like dissociation to me!

From Wikipedia:

Dissociation is an unexpected partial or complete disruption of the normal integration of a person’s conscious or psychological functioning that cannot be easily explained by the person. Dissociation is a mental process that severs a connection to a person's thoughts, memories, feelings, actions, or sense of identity.[1] Dissociation can be a response to trauma, and perhaps allows the mind to distance itself from experiences that are too much for the psyche to process at that time.[2] Dissociative disruptions can affect any aspect of a person’s functioning.[3][4][5][6] Although some dissociative disruptions involve amnesia, the vast majority of dissociative events do not.[7] Since dissociations are normally unanticipated, they are typically experienced as startling, autonomous intrusions into the person's usual ways of responding or functioning. Due to their unexpected and largely inexplicable nature, they tend to be quite unsettling.

Different dissociative disorders have different relationships to stress and trauma.[8] Dissociative amnesia and fugue states are often triggered by life stresses that fall far short of trauma.[9][10] Depersonalization disorder is sometimes triggered by trauma, but may be preceded by only stress, psychoactive substances, or no identifiable stress at all.[11]

 

[CCurry]

I haven't been on here in a while, so I suppose I should start with an update. My husband seems to be making an extra effort to be nice lately. That's a welcome change from the constant blowing up over little things. However, over the past week or so, he's doing some other things that concern me. I don't know how to describe it, other than he seems "out of it". He zones out and doesn't seem to know what's going on half the time. He's easily confused. And he spends a ridiculous amount of time sitting on the couch just staring at the walls. When he's doing that, he doesn't notice ANYTHING going on around him. I almost wondered if he was using illegal drugs of some sort. But being in the military, he has to take periodic drug tests, and has passed all of them with no problem. I'm worried that the stress got to him so much that he has just sort of detached from everything. Is this typical? Should I be worried about it?

This is all quite normal, my bf dissociates often and in fact we were just at my son's hockey game on the weekend and rather than watch the play he spent most of the time gazing into nothingness and once in awhile when something happened like a goal or when a fight almost broke out he'd come back into the present.

 

[amethist]

Hi desperate

This is exactly how my husband is right now, zoning in and out. He is at this minute sat watching TV, or should I say looking at the screen but not seeing what is on, and humming to himself.

Triggered by 2 things to day, 1 have just realised. The first being the relief of knowing that I am not being made redundant, seems he has bottled the worries of this up and now they are spilling out. The second a letter that he should have left for me to open, but didn't. Nothing for him to stress about for now but he is anyway.

So now he is in a world of his own, he will come out of it in a few hours or when he wakes up tomorrow.

Hope this helps to know it is not unusual in some cases.

Amethist

 

[chguise]

My husband is a combat PTSD sufferer. He "zones", as you say, quite often. It happens out of the blue, sometimes when we're out and he just shuts down. If I don't notice, he stays that way or heads into a flashback though usually flashbacks are triggered by something startling or stressful. When I do notice I can talk him back, but he's confused and depending on how long he's been "lost" he loses time. He's lost up to a week, most times however it's just a day gone. It's distressing but has become just another part of life.

 

[desperate]

Thanks, everyone. I'd heard of dissociation, but had never seen it. Was a little worried that it popped up when he's never done it before. Should the sudden change worry me, or is this something that happens a lot?

 

[Nicolette]

Should the sudden change worry me, or is this something that happens a lot?

I don't think we are qualified to answer this other than to say something has changed to cause this change and the need to pull out of life....some sort of overload? Any ideas?

 

[goingonhope]

Dissociative episodes?

Certainly sounds like it to me, and unfortunely can be frightening, painful and even frustrating to witness in a loved one too frequently.

a protective mechanism and kind of like shutting down when one cannot deal with something.

The too frequently part, is the frustrating part for me, because when another has such a protective mechnism in place and cannot deal with something; Well, quite frankly they can't deal with anything for that time being as they've shut down.

And, if their not dealing, responding and remembering and taken responsible action, then who does this for them? ...Another responsible party!

And, damn' as a person with Ptsd here speaking, having to witness and manage my share and anothers' is quite frankly way too, too much. With me, after the experience of another's long shut-down and that witness of, and thus my additional responsibilities during this type of thing (and variations on it) and the course of its duration, ...well then it's hello, and welcome my dissociative episodes.

Really it's one thing to know the nature of a beast that afflicts, as one can take personal responsibility, fair better and even contribute positively influencing outcomes through preventitive medicine practice and strategies, but quite another thing to be afflicted with such symptom and sometimes without a clue, motivation or a trust in site.

My husband seems to be making an extra effort to be nice lately. That's a welcome change from the constant blowing up over little things.

Desperate, It could've been be who wrote what I quoted above!

And truthfully for me, quite frankly I'm having a bit of a problem with myself following his and other's such episodes and eruptions of anger. I'm now desperately wanting and needing to deal additionally with my resentments, nevermind that loss, grief and much confusion.

------
Preventitive Medicine is my favorite, even if must be applied to anything possibly progressive; Simply my favorite.

Mild and moderate disturbance, I can help manage while being part of a solution.

Severe disruption, with any such complexities and longevity, and if without personal actions or help to be willingly sought, all falls way out of my league. (I mention this only because it is something I've been dealing with as witness too.)

A sensitive topic here for me to read and comment. I'm in a place where I just don't know how to help any longer, as if and when too severe, I fall and fail, becoming useless and non-constructive; Certainly no part of any solution.

There has come a point for me in, (caring, across-the-board-of-life) and to what seems like to little to hopelessly no avail, where my frustrations rapidly do multiply, and my Ptsd becomes wickedly fierce and threatening.
------

Anyhow Desperate, ........in and/or through or around it all, your choice! And, take care, take care, take care.

Take good care, and remember that in every day we'all get a share of energy, whatever its amount, please use every bit of yours constructively and in the best possible known ways. Daily energy levels reach exhaustion for every human being walking the face of this earth. And, while choosing to love, use much discernment, accept much good guidance, and take healthy concern with and care of you as well.

My Best,

 

[Shoka]

I know that with my sufferer, sometimes watching TV for hours on end helps stop the pain somehow. I've come to learn the difference between when he needs down time, just going into a "chill out" mode and when it seems problematic.
Thankfully, my sufferer has worked really hard in his therapy and on his own to learn how to deal with his pain and it's paying off.

I remember all to well the days of disassociation, for him they were extreme. Now it's different. Another thing he'll do is find a song that somehow really resonates with what is going on with him and he'll play it over and over. That behavior I see as cathartic.

I've never had a problem with my sufferer spending down time on the couch, it doesn't mean that I do it with him. My sufferer is functional and gets to work and meets his responsibilities so when he needs this time, it's not an issue.

 

[BioHazard]

I agree with Shoka. As a combat PTSD sufferer, there are times when I need to just "go to my quiet place" and I will get a blank facial expression, stare off into space, and let my mind undo the knots it has tied itself in. It concerns my wife at times, so I try my best to have these moments while I am in the shop working on a car or doing something that muscle memory can accomplish without too much mental process. This way she doesn't worry too much, and I still have time to let it work itself out.