What To Do

[Nunu]

Before it hit me this was ptsd related, i thought he just left me. I sent several how could you do this to me messages. I did send an apology. I don't know what to do. Do i leave him alone. Do i make random contact to let him know I'm still here. I don't know what to do. For all i know he did leave me I'm blaming ptsd. I did ask him to tell me if he wanted to be left alone. No response. So i don't know how to interpret that.

 

[Iro]

I would leave him alone. There is nothing else you CAN do. You can't have him arrested and have him brought to your house. Let him heal. If he wants to come back to you, he will. If he doesn't, he won't. Nothing you can do to change that. Just focus on improving your life and don't waste your gifts God gave you. Volunteer to help others, rather than waiting around to see if he will or won't call or text you.

 

[Apis]

No response means he's sick or busy or has other things on his mind. Let him be. When women wait around for a man to call it lowers their dignity and self-esteem. You are a child of God-awsome and wonderfully made. Don't let that go to waste.

 

[Nevuzu]

I agree with the others. It seems he did answer your question regarding wanting to be left alone by simply not answering. I don't believe that he is handling this in a mature way, but, perhaps this is the only way he can handle it right now. You need to take care of yourself right now. Try to put the effort that you are putting into him, into yourself.

 

[Iheko]

I did send an apology. I don't know what to do.

You do know what to do - you've done it. You sent an apology for your part in any misunderstanding. Ball is in his court now.

I did ask him to tell me if he wanted to be left alone. No response. So i don't know how to interpret that.

I think you can interpret that as wanting to be left alone.

 

[Isoh]

When someone tells us that they want us to leave them alone, the healthiest decision we can make is that they mean exactly what they say.

Torturing ourselves trying to search for possibly non-existent messages signifying the outcome we want, instead of learning to accept the outcome that exists, prolongs our emotional suffering.

As painful as it is, I'd work on accepting the reality as it is. I'd take steps to comfort myself, make any arrangements I needed to stabilize my living situation, and seek support from friends and my therapist.

It's not fun, but there's worse things than a relationship ending. Being in a relationship that really exists only in our minds but not in the physical, observable reality is what happens to co-dependents who stay in a "better than nothing" relationship instead of finding the strength that lies within to face the negative feelings and try for something better.

I totally understand. I've been there. I learned this the hard way.