What To Never Say To A Ptsd Sufferer

[disenchanted]

How about:

"You've got to get a thicker skin"

or

"Boy, are you high strung!"

I constantly clashed with an ex-boss who told me I was too sensitive and too nice. I finally told her she was too insensitive and too mean. It shut her up for about a week!

 

[TheRaven]

"Why do you think about that now...it's years since you came home."

 

[Ruth09]

VA ER Nurse: YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN.

Me: If I COULD calm down, do you think I would be in here!

I've had some episodes in which I felt something was terribly wrong with the medications I was taking. Things that were not Normal to ME. My routine Doc won't see me, or take phone calls. You HAVE to go to the VA ER for any follow-up care outside of an appointment that takes 3 weeks to make.

One week later, I got an appt by order of the ER, I got pissed-off with the Doctor because the Medication he ordered still hadn't worn off.

He told me: You need to calm down.

Me: Do you think I would be in here seeing YOU if I could CALM DOWN!

Stupid Jerk.
I hate being told to calm down. That just pisses me off even more.

 

[heather q]

What about 'we're just going around in circles' that seams to suggest he doesn't want to hear what I'm trying to say, which is why we're going around in circles, I'm trying to get through.

Heather

 

[fin]

What about 'we're just going around in circles' that seams to suggest he doesn't want to hear what I'm trying to say, which is why we're going around in circles, I'm trying to get through.

This One!!!! THis one!!! this one is obviously maybe triggering -hah!!!

I have been recording recent meetings to check how I am doing, this is with some full consent. And a meeting I had yesterday was a complete repeat of one I had six weeks ago. My psychologist wanted to check her assessment with me, she sent it through and all the mistakes were there exactly the same as before, which I had already worked with her on and corrected in the meeting we had six weeks ago. I had to say to her yesterday that maybe she should write down the things that neded to be altered as she still hadnt done it from our last meeting and I felt it to be a waste of my time now. 3 months of her assessing and then 2 do overs. Ridiculous.
It aint always me going around in circles :wall:

 

[pianogirl]

Most of you guys have said many of the stupid comments already like "Get Over It", "Stop dwelling on it", "You're living in the past", or "You have to handle things better."

I have a really bad startle response, and people tap my back, come up behind me, or whatever, and I jump or turn abruptly and they say, "Oh, I didn't mean to scare you." NOTE: I am not scared. I am startled.

Ugh, it's really frustrating!

pianogirl

 

[morgan]

Good point pianogirl. I often have people come up behind me and (with the best of intentions) put their hands on my shoulders. They usually mean it in a warm and caring way but I tense up really bad every time. If it is a close guy friend I will ask him not to do that anymore. If it is a woman I tend to get over it more quickly and often say nothing for some reason.

 

[heather q]

dismissed

What about "dismissed"

I can't even think what that means to me, maybe dismissed, maybe more than dismissed, something to puzzle over, when I get over being dismissed...I think there's something to unearth here. :eek:

Heather

 

[heather q]

One of mum's favourites was "you should let it run off you, like water of a duck's back" somehow, for some reason, I could never understand stand that, I just couldn't relate to the ducks, couldn't picture myself as a duck. Apparently it didn't work for me, I still haven't mastered it. :think:
Heather

 

[fin]

MOrgan Pianogirl, I had the same thing happen recently, When someone came up behind me and put their hands on my shoulder and arm; I jumped-was startled, and the other person looked like they were going to freak out. And I thought I was supposed to be the sensitive one!! It was at a church and it was a woman, and I did try to explain that I was ok and was just needing a minute to myself. You would have thought I had sworn at her or something!!

 

[fin]

Oh and I really hate it when someone says about scaring me, in some kind of sarcastic tone. When I have said something to one guy about touching me and invading my space, he implied I scared easy...no I just have boundaries...and this is MY personal space YOU are invading.

I wonder at times, if I were to touch a guy like that; some place that he felt invaded by, would he be over reacting if he complained? No? I thought not. So how come it is alright for it to be the other way around? And that wasn't meant to sound sexist, could be either way...a persons personal space is their personal space, and that includes their body.

Of course if I could say something more often then I would have less of a problem I guess. It is feeling you have the right to say something, and for it to be taken seriously. And I very rarely feel I have rights, I am trying to learn I do, I need to practice this some more.

 

[heather q]

--some people that when they came to know of my traumas, hurts, weaknesses and distress, they deliberately antagonized me to varying degrees in their sick ideas of fun. Other times people have deliberately set-out to control or manipulate me with words because they knew just how to do so for their miserable personal gain.--
Triggered, triggered and triggered--sense--lost it.

Goingonhope, I can relate to this wholeheartedly, if I tell someone about me and then they use it against me I feel more traumatized, to them it's a joke and I hurt so much and I'm angry with myself for trusting someone when I shouldn't have. I'm now able to say 'No' or 'Enough' just one word, they don't believe me and keep going, I can only repeat the one word, I don't have my witts about me to say any more and I think I dissociate when I say that.

It's a small start, I've done it twice now, when I get to the privacy of my car I get happy that I was able to do it differently. The happy feeling is a new sensation and it doesn't last very long, but it seems to be a benefit that is occuring due to standing up for myself at that very moment.

Heather