What To Never Say To A Ptsd Sufferer

[blackdove]

I don't like "you'll be fine".

There is no evidence that indicates that as far as I know, not a the moment anyway.

Also don't like "just forget about it and focus on the future. It's over now."

 

[Die Hard The Hunter]

"Welcome to the real world."

wtf. :/

 

[Kizzam]

"Why are you only dealing with this now?"

"Close this chapter of your life - move on."

"Stop dwelling on it."

"It's over 3 years since it happened."

 

[Petchen]

This is probably one of my favorite threads...I learn something new every time I read a new page.

I was on the phone with the on again and more off again BF recently... he likes to multi task on the phone which was fine for me awhile ago...but not in the last 6 months the sharp noises are beyond my abilities to cope with. He knows this...he continues to f*ck all on the phone...so last week again after I had read him the riot act again for triggering me 2x 1 with noise 2 with ignoring my clearly stated request I hang up when he says..."oh babe this is where you just need to work through it." And this is where he can work through a pole up his arse.

I am not into triggers...I've done my research and exposure therapy does naught for me...he loves to tell me how to get help too, thinking him the physicist knows better than MD and Phd...prick...I even bothered to have my head shrink speak to him...conclusion..."I am more psychologically advanced" than he is that's freaking frightening.

Also side note..

I've been going to an EMRD head shrink...3 x only did one session so far of actual EMRD...and well....I like it...feel better....but I will need to go for many moons...blah blah blah...he taught me this technique...

Psychological protection from those jerks in your life...works great!

First imagine you have a bubble all around you, 360, that is your normal boundary you like to have in the grocery store from the next person in line... then imagine you have a vest on...(mine at first was candy, with chunks eaten out how f-ed was that) so then clearly pick a sturdier version say Kevlar, I am going orange for now with white reflective tape. Feel safer? Good! I do. Now zip that bad boy up. Inside there is you're safe and sound. Now near your heart you have a little door with a key...it unlocks from the inside... ;-) You can open it when you want...when you feel safe. Shut that door when those boogers are around. You can choose to let people in when you feel safe.

So now....does that mean I am ready and prepared to answer the phone if the wicked witch of the west (my mom) calls.....hell no....but it sure means I am way more prepared. ;-) It worked on the nitwit BF today. I was more able to stand my ground and not cave in to the blah blah blah but but but BS excuses for slamming doors and yelling around me.

Ok enough of me...I am even annoyed.

~r

 

[anglico2024]

Don't You Hate The Words - "Just Get on With Your Life?"

Thats what I got from every family member. Hey sufferers. It doesn't work that way. Please post the words you've heard after being diagnosed with PTSD. I feel like I'm the only one who's heard those damaging words. :crazy:

 

[trapped]

there's a similar thread over in the PTSD chat section called "what never to say to a PTSD sufferer"... I'd post the link, but I know we're not supposed to post a "live" link and I don't know if that applies to other threads, but I'm not taking the chance since I get so anxious about posting on these boards and accidentally breaking a forum rule in an effort to want to help someone. But you can use the search funtion to try to find it.

You're definitely not alone- check out the other thread I referred to, there's tons of others who have experienced these damaging words.

 

[anglico2024]

OK, apparently I violated some rules. I'll have to read up on what I can and cannot say

 

[cat]

I've had so many this week!

From my sister: 'What right has your psychologist got to upset you & she'd better not be saying anything about me' followed by 'maybe you shouldn't be seeing her if all she does is upset you' - her comment after I told her I was feeling anxious because of the trauma memories I worked on with my psychologist the previous day. (she is full aware of what i'm dealing with but seems to have no understanding of how it could possibly upset me)

This was followed by 'I haven't rung you because life has been so difficult, I pulled a muscle in my back & I don't like the colour of my new kitchen floor so it has to be changed' If only that was all we had to worry about!!

From my personnel manager when I was trying to explain why therapy sessions cause emotional distress for a few days after which may mean me not going to work mainly for other peoples benefit:
' why can't you plan your appointments for late on Fridays so that it only happens at weekends or at a time that is more convenient to us or even just deal with it during the school holidays, you'd have 2 weeks free then!

Some people you just can't win & have to feel sorry for them that they live in such a bubble that nothing touches them!

 

[Cate]

You're all making me laugh right now...in a good way...thanks.

My absolute 'favorite' has to be "can't you just get over it"....uh huh, yup, I'll get right on that....okey dokey.

My other favorite is "I'm so sorry you're suffering from a mental illness"......great...uh huh, yup, okey dokey.

Sigh. :wall:

Cate

 

[Big Shirley]

Ok I think my favorite one was, It happened so long ago you think that you would be over it by now. Oh no wait maybe it's Forgive and Forget. Ya, I think that one is the best LOL.

 

[anglico2024]

Those words "Just get over it!" really make me steaming mad. It makes me wanna kick some ass

 

[SGT Bilko]

Just fix it. You know what the problems are, and you know your triggers! Just fix it.

I don't understand why you wouldn't just go to theorpy and get better.

Jeez you've been going to the shrink for months, are you sure it isn't just you?

SCREW EVERYONE WHO SAYS THIS TO US!! I HATE THEM ALL AND WISH THEM A HORRIBLE __________