General What To Say To Someone Suffering With Ptsd. . . ?

[Wastinglight]

sometimes really wants to be left alone but doesn't want to be alone.

This is what I love about this forum. I love it when someone can distil an idea into a short, simple sentence. It really helps me, as a supporter, to have things like this clarified so simply (not least of all, because I'm more likely to remember it!). It's stuff I already know on one level, but then there are days when I feel I understand on a much deeper level from reading these kinds of discussion. Thank you.

 

[Milo's papa]

I do this for my wife almost every day as she's leaving for work.

Other things I say:
"I love you a...

I do much the same things as you. I close out our day every day by say "good night, I love you, sleep well and pleasant dreams; or no dreams. This last one came about as a result of many years of flashbacks in the middle of the night. I know that it doesn't really help with the flashbacks, but at least she knows I'm aware of them and am trying to help which she appreciates.

 

[Tinyflame]

Someone told me "you give me lots of gifts but the best one is I go to bed happy".

I'm not sure where it is on the forum, but someone wrote a post long ago (a list), if I can find it I will post the link.

It's not so much the words, I think they can be flexible, but the understanding I think.

 

[Milo's papa]

I don't say them every day...only occasionally. Believe it or not - the main reason I only say it o...

spmitchell3, I know how hard it is to give, give, give and not feel like you're getting anything back. The truth is, you probably aren't at this time. I know that's how it is in my world, Not only does my wife has CPTSD; but my daughter has Bipolar Disorder, PTSD, and brain damage all due to being hit by a car crossing the street on her way to school. Not any of this is their fault.

They didn't ask for their lives to turn out the way they are right now.

Your wife needs you more now than at any other time you have known her. As hard as it is, (and believe me I know how hard it is) you just have to hang in there. Things will get better as time goes on. They have for me, and I know they will for you.

I'm here anytime you want to talk, bi**h, cry, or scream. I know I've done a lot of those things myself and it does help with the pain we, as supporters, go through.

 

[Tinyflame]

I can't link but here is the thread: "A Poem To My Wife With PTSD" by @bearfan5490.

I think it says it the best (as long as that is what one feels). I think he had great understanding, the words followed for his case, others have their own. I think he really understood ptsd.

 

[F-18Wife]

Sometimes I find it easier to just ask my husband "what can I do to help?" and that seems to console him when he is starting to spool up.

What's sad is that he has no relationship with either his mom or his sister. He refuses to tell them about his PTSD or his feelings about their dismissiveness about his being deployed in OIF/OEF..... they just pretended like he had a normal 9-5 job, they never wrote, sent cards or packages..... so it's just me, I'm the only one to help manage this.

 

[Tinyflame]

What's sad is that he has no relationship with either his mom or his sister. He refuses to tell them about his PTSD or his feelings about their dismissiveness ... they just pretended like he had a normal 9-5 job, they never wrote, sent cards or package.

I suspect that's why (obviously..?) he doesn't, why beat one's head gainst a brick wall.

He's lucky to have you, @F-18Wife . I like your 'paws' avatar, btw. :) Welcome to you.

 

[Sighs]

When my vet was deployed to his first war his mum and then wife were very upset (understandably). They were having a hug and shedding a few tears and his sister walked in and said "You're not supposed to be upset - you're supposed to be happy because I just got married!" (For the second time. To a loser.) She was angry with him for "taking the shine off her honeymoon". Like he deliberately got himself deployed to ruin her day. Sigh!