What's Blocking Me?

[sun seeker]

I think the break is a mutual decision.

You are taking a break from EMDR, right? Does that have to mean taking a break from therapy?

 

[Snowflake]

I

So then, can you see that separation can be a thing based on love or kindness or compassion and doesn't...

I am sorry-I just don't want to do or say anything to her that she will be upset with me about. She is all I have.

 

[Snowflake]

You are taking a break from EMDR, right? Does that have to mean taking a break from therapy?

...[/QUOTE]

No not therapy, just emdr....a break from a memory.

 

[sun seeker]

So the fear is that she will reject you if you can't handle the EMDR? Or if you say the wrong thing when explaining why you need a break from EMDR? Or... I'm just trying to figure out what the problem is with the problem, so to speak, so maybe we can find a way for you to get some relief. But I can stop asking if it's too much.

 

[Snowflake]

So the fear is that she will reject you if you can't handle the EMDR? Or if you say the wrong thing...

Actually your questions help me to process it more clearly. Yes I am afraid she will reject me based on what I say. Yes-I don't want to disappoint her by not doing emdr. She knows there is something blocking me from wanting to continue. I am just not ready to share it with her or even hear it myself.

 

[sun seeker]

Got it. That makes a lot of sense.

I doubt that what you are afraid of is going to happen. Of course I can't promise that, but it doesn't sound likely. Therapists have seen a wide range of problems caused by trauma, and this is a trauma-related problem. I can say that with 99% certainty even without knowing anything about your story. I'm almost certain that were you to tell her of your fears, she would not be at all surprised. Of course only you can know whether it feels safe to do that. You say you're not ready yet, and it's important to respect that.

But if/when you want to practice what you need to say... or how to say that you can't talk about it yet... that's what we're here for. Or feel free to PM me if I can be a sounding board.

Have you learned some grounding skills? It sounds like they might really help you right now.

 

[Snowflake]

Got it. That makes a lot of sense.

I doubt that what you are afraid of is going to happen. Of cour...

Yep-she reminds me of the grounding skills. I don't know why today was hard. I know if I don't talk/share I will shut down. (Will this upset her.....I don't know) . She wants to start working on my body image....ugh ugh ugh. Possibly doing a body scan....I would rather cancel therapy than do this as well.

 

[RavenGirl]

I totally understand your fear as I have been there;but it's their job to listen to anything you have to say and not be biased. I too have a fear of rejection, but if you don't share what's bothering you how can they help you with it? Being and feeling vulnerable is a huge scary thing. Being vulnerable brings us right back to our childhoods / times when we weren't in the safest place. Sometimes to get better we just need to take a deep breath and a leap of faith even though it scares the hell out of us. I hope you are able to open up whether by letter, phone call, or in person. I hope everything works out for you. ( ( ( hugs) ) )