What's In a Name?

[Rex]

Does your therapist use your name during session? If so (or not) how does it make you react?

 

[Skywatcher]

Mine calls me by my first name. Sometimes she talks to my younger self indirectly and maybe even directly while I am disassociated. Like she once told me that she envisions me doing tapping with her (called by name). I find it comforting most of the time that she uses my name. I call her by her first name as well. One time I used her name in a sarcastic tone, but it worked in that moment and we both laughed. Recently, we had to resolve a conflict and the use of our names just made the conversation seem very human... not clinical.

 

[littleoc]

Mine doesn’t usually say my name. But I don’t use hers. I have issues with names, so I just fail to use them frequently, especially in front of the person I’m naming. It’s not trauma related at all (that I know of, seems to be related to a thing I have — though hearing my own name is a bit trauma related) but it just makes me more comfortable to not bother with makes much.

But I don’t think it’s weird for others, generally speaking. If the therapist said my name once or twice — it would take me out of the session because I’d be focused on something else. But it’d be fine. Therapists who use my name too often haven’t worked so well for me, personally

Why do you ask, @Rex?

 

[Still Standing]

Mine occasionally calls me by my first name. It always catches me off guard and I initially think he does not know me well enough to use the informal use of my name. And then I feel honored that he feels like he can. On the other hand, I rarely address my psych
doc by his name.

 

[Rex]

I recently switched therapists, and it is something I never noticed, but I do now. My new t uses my name, qnd I dont think my old one ever did. I never call either by their names, and I dont know why. I just know it struck me. When I lose focus or drift off, the new guy calls my attention back to him with my name. He also seems to work it into conversation. It is just kind of foreign to me. I have now realized I dont use names much and it has my wheels turning. Why?

It seems like a natural thing to do, right?

 

[littleoc]

Hm. Maybe not for all of us? Maybe for some of us it’s natural?

 

[EveHarrington]

It’s natural to not use names in conversation.

It’s not like tv and the movies where people are constantly addressed by name in order to allow the audience to keep up with who is talking to whom.

I usually only use a name when initially addressing someone, or to get their attention. Otherwise it’s just not a necessary part of communication.

 

[Missycat]

Seemed like quite a simple question but i then had to really think! Mine uses my name when its appropriate as in any natural dealings with peopl or conversations ie when i arrive she will often pop her head around the door and say “hi xx come on in “and when i leave “bye xx, have a good week” . In session she will use my name to get me back when im dissociating. My other t that i see via skype is exactly the same. I call them both by their first names, they are both Doctors but they introduced themselves by first name and asked that i call them by there first names. I do have a naughty habbit of shortening names tho but my t said it makes her smile that i do so shes ok with it.
Good question @Rex

 

[Ronin]

Mine uses my last name.

The other person that was on that team used my first, and the sometimes off and on person of them used my first name.

The relation I have to all of them is different though, and that name thing reflects it. I do not trust him enough and mostly take our meets as a here and now stuff checks, and my own exercise around boundaries and avoidance / what I can speak about, how much, talking at all.

 

[grit]

I do not think any of my therapist ever used my name. Interesting topic.

I did and do use my therapist name (first name) and I learned in reading about that using the therapist name is a sign of narcissism - maybe there is something to that. They said it means I was trying to bring the therapist from above to my level....I am still laughing about this because I use names of people generally speaking. However, the tone of how I pronounce a name has a real meaning.

Now the more I think about, I think my therapist does not know how to pronounce it! LOL

OOH my.

 

[shimmerz]

Really great question that I don't think I have actually seen asked here. Thanks for that.

I have a complicated relationship with my name(s). I will be giving this some thought now though.

 

[Emotional girl]

In one of my last sessions with my therapist he used a shortened version of my name about 20 times.
I didn't mind but at one point I did find myself counting how many times he had said it .I think he said it so many times to be supportive more than anything else.
I don't like anyone using my full name and he has always respected that fact and called me the shortened version.