What's Keeping You Alive?

[Deleted member 12723]

My family and my animals. I love them so much.:)

 

[Innordinate]

My kids.

Just for the fact that I know how horrible it would be to have a parent who committed suicide. They wouldn't be okay with it. It would haunt them forever.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

The hope that springs eternal that I will get more healing and wholeness, and will be able to manage my symptoms and triggers in a way, that does not stop me from living a happier life.

 

[Red Feather]

1. my children

2. my friends

3. my home

4. this forum

5. music

6. noodle soup

7. corn flakes

8. chocolate chip cookies

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am like the energiser bunny, I just keep going. lol. I do. No matter how tough it gets at times, I just keep putting one foot in front of the other. I have been doing this my whole life. So I must be made of strong stuff. I like this thread.

 

[HëllaBubz]

I know how you feel gizmo, sometimes you are falling in a heap, and yet while your brain is begging for mercy, your feet keep walking, walking, walking, and after a while your brain gets up, wipes away the tears and starts walking next to your feet again.

 

[Helliepig]

My son, and the sense there is a me in there that wants to live her life, free of this rubbish

 

[Innordinate]

"what if's"

The same things that send me into deep depressions are the same things that ultimately keep me alive. Kinda sucks.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Suicide is not an option for me. After 1 failed attempt I learned that I don't want to be in the pain anymore, but I want to live. Hope for the good days that do come.

 

[gms1976]

Truthfully, I'm struggling with this one. I feel so worthless and damaged half the time, don't even feel like I belong anywhere and seem to screw up repeatedly because of my molasses brain. I'm alive for my kitties and my husband because he (for some unknown reason) puts me on a pedestal and thinks the world of me. Even when I'm losing it and angry at the whole world. I'm alive because we want to have a baby and my husband wants to be a father so badly, and yet I have been gifted with infertility and have been through 3 failed IVF cycles (let's add massive amounts of hormones to PTSD and Bipolar II, shall we?) and 1 miscarriage. I'm also still here because I don't know what's beyond death and I'm scared it will be worse than here. Ugh! Sorry to be such a downer, but I'm being truthful.

 

[HëllaBubz]

argh sweetie, I'm in the exact same position right now, I underwent surgery for cervical cancer in Feb, and I had a miscarriage a few years ago due to violence.

I wish I could give you a big hug, because my partner and I want children badly also.
As my partner said, I know what true pain and suffering is, and all I ever give back is love and understanding, so he thinks I'll be a wonderful mother, and I'm 100000000% certain you will be too.

Just remember, one day you will be able to tell your child that they are the reason that you are still here, because there is nothing more rewarding than showing someone the love you have to share at the levels that you experienced pain in.

And yes, my kitties never fail to make me laugh, or cry, and even when I'm curled up in the couch bawling my heart out, I've usually got a kitty curled up in my lap, purring loud enough to drown out some of my pain.

I'm with you sweetheart, chin up darling, because I can't give you a proper hug with your head down low.

xoxoxox

 

[gms1976]

Thank you, Bubs! Thank you for your wonderful hugs. You have no idea how much I needed them! Your words were so kind and thoughtful!