What's The Point Of Therapy?

[Hashi]

I really urge you to answer the review honestly and talk to her. If you are leading her to think it's OK when it isn't, that does no good for either of you and then I think there really would be no point.

I don't want to hurt her feelings but I don't want to lie so 5 it is.

Any good therapist is not going to have their feelings hurt by honest feedback. They would prefer to know rather than be given the impression things are going OK when they're not. The review question you mention is not whether she is a good/skilled or poor/unskilled therapist. It's about how helpful the session was. It isn't personal.

If a therapist isn't getting information they need then they don't have a chance to do their job well. It's a bit like if you went to a doctor for something and what they tried first made no difference at all. Would you tell the doctor you felt halfway better, because you didn't want to hurt their feelings? A therapy relationship is more like this. It's someone using their professional skills, in a context where they know they might need to try different things and they depend on you to guide them in that.

 

[EverOnly358]

A slight tangent I think you might find relevant --- I read Mike Langlois' book, Reset, and found that he compares therapy to play. It is NOTHING like two friends having a conversation, being cheered up, or anything of the sort. In therapy, we are CHOOSING to battle monsters that we do not have to face. It is an EPIC undertaking. Ultimately it is a journey toward the center of yourself... to ascertain your own identity for what it is, a particular challenge for the PTSD-afflicted. No one else can tell you your identity, they can only stand by your side, seeking to be on your team in the process.

Dreams, I love this! That's how I feel. It's hard to find a therapist that feels that way, though. Thanks for sharing. I feel like this should be printed, framed and put up on my wall... "I'm CHOOSING to battle monsters that I do not have to face. It is an EPIC undertaking." But hey, maybe I'm too into SciFi/Fantasy books. Ha! Anyways, Dreams, I thought everything you said was clear and it really resonated with me.

Finding a way in is just the thing I've been doing for sooooo long. I just feel like I've tried everything.

Falling, God! I can totally sympathize. I've been in and out of therapy for 14 years. Only very recently has anything good happened at all. It's all so annoying pointless at times. And maybe this doesn't help at all... but I've had to come to accept... that therapy is pretty much the only game in town. If I want to get better, I have to be in therapy. Period. And believe me, I totally flip out going to doctors appointments. I once almost punched a doctor because I was so flipped out, I went from freeze to fight to running out of the building screaming (in my head) flight. Literally. I don't like therapy. But to hell with giving up! I WILL MAKE IT WORK! I WILL KEEP TRYING! I'M DETERMINED! And just saying those things... it switches something in my brain, and now, therapy is not an option. It's a requirement. I have three kids (all teenagers, yikes!) and I want to be the best Mom I can be. Being screwed up by PTSD is not the best Mom I can be. All that said... just give it a real chance, make sure to communicate your concerns to your therapist, ask questions, and if it doesn't work... there are always more fish (therapists) in the sea. Try someone else. And I'm just saying all this with a little bit more confidence than usual, because you were kind enough to say...

pssst, D123....one quality that I like about you is your ability to come across warm even through the written word only. :)

I'm copying and pasting that into my (very short) list of good things about myself, too. Ha! Thank you sincerely.

Hang in there,
D

 

[Britt.f7]

Two sessions aren't much to go by. Especially if she's asked for input and you haven't given it to her. This isn't hurting her feelings, she asked for it. It's her job. Not all therapists care enough, I think, to even put that out there for you. Kudos to her. That being said, if you really feel like you can not open up to her, then it is time to look for someone new. I've tried various therapists over the years. Last year when I was in a very dark place, I started with one therapist and ended up with another. I think we are just doing talk therapy but what we aren't doing is going over the trauma. I'm okay with this. I'm in a much better place then I was last year. Part of that is meds, but she says not to give that all the credit, but to give myself some credit for what I've accomplished.