General What's The Point?

[Sighs]

Feeling so low right now. Nothing I do is right. No matter how hard I try I keep upsetting him. I'm almost to the point where I don't want to be around him because I cannot walk lightly enough on the eggshells.

I moved interstate to be with him. I've had a falling out with my family and lost contact with all my friends. I'm really struggling to see the point of this right now.

 

[nursenurse]

The point is perhaps you followed your heart - we all have at some point - instead of your head. Have you set your boundaries? Where is he as far as therapy goes?

Maybe you need to take a breather for a bit. Why do you have no friends, did you give them up
to be with him? And what kind if falling out did you have with your family?

There are always choices to make, some of them very difficult. There is the old Ann Landers trick of a list with two columns, why you should stay, and why you should leave. The trick is that you have to be brutally honest with yourself, no rose coloured glasses allowed. And then you have to act.

Living in limbo, in my opinion, is worse than the upheaval of a definitive decision. Remember that love does not fix everything. If it did, this forum would be non existent.

Counselling for you? You surely deserve some care for yourself. I am sorry you are hurting so much.

 

[GWhizz]

Obviously I do not fully know why you fell out with your family or why you are having little contact with friends now. But I have to stress to you just how important it is that you do not give up or lose yourself for the sake of a relationship. After all, he fell in love with that person. And I've seen it all too often, friends of mine who've practically tossed away great supportive friendships for their partners at the time. Then when it all came falling down they expect the friendships to just pick up where they left off. I'm not saying this is you. I'm just saying that, even if you've moved a distance, it's important to still keep touch with friends for them and yourself. Having other support networks beyond your significant other is vital in my opinion.

I don't know what to say about continuing or not continuing your relationship, though I do agree a list of pros v cons would be useful to at least help you to see what you may be giving up/gaining from this. You shouldn't have to walk on eggshells 24/7, let alone tread lightly on them. Relationships are about being yourself, about fully accepting one another, all in - flaws, quirks etc. If there's something you cannot bear about him or his ptsd, or vice versa, the relationship may never work.

I hope you figure this out and take care of yourself in all of this :hug:

 

[Hashi]

Nothing I do is right....I cannot walk lightly enough on the eggshells.

I moved interstate to be with him. I've had a falling out with my family and lost contact with all my friends

@Sighs I don't know the details of your situation. All I know is that the things you've said here are worrying. Did you fall out with your family and lose contact with your friends because they have a different view of your relationship? Or was it for other reasons, to do with you alone and nothing to do with him?

 

[Sighs]

I lost contact with my friends mostly because I moved interstate to be with him. I had a falling out with my best friend just before I moved (which was unrelated to my relationship). I do have another good friend who keeps in touch but she has never been in a relationship and has a really rom-com idea of how it should be so if I even suggest that he doesn't strew my path with rose petals she's horrified and says I should leave. Naturally I just don't talk to her about it. I've always had something of a difficult relationship with my family - we're not close and contact with them is often stressful rather than helpful. My parents do not approve of the relationship which doesn't help, but then they have never approved of any relationship my brother or I have ever had so I think that is more about them than about him.

Counselling for me would be great but when I moved my income dropped by 45% and my financial commitments didn't! (I was made redundant where I was so I didn't give that income up to be with him - it just happened that way.) I can't afford counselling but I earn too much to be eligible for it for free.