In order to minimize the effect of trauma on my life I've had to begin a ruthless campaign. Change is hard, and it's requiring me to further develop and strengthen a robust disposition. I don't think there is a "Silver Bullet" to heal PTSD. I think fundamental and ongoing personal development, learning and training can go a long way in restoring healthy life functioning.
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When Does PTSD Go Away?
- Post starter sfguy
- Start date
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I have been wondering when I will start feeling normal again myself... I seem to go day to day feeling completely scrambled inside, helpless and lost.... Why did they torture me and break me like this? Why did they laugh at me and terrify me with their forced helplessness/dependency/bait/switch/manipulation/molestation games ?
Sometimes I just breakdown crying for no reason at all or find myself lost like there is missing time, I don't know where I am or how I got where I was. I start getting flash backs and feel that danger surrounds me everywhere and start to blank/numb out and shake. at other times I feel perfectly normal and sane.
I want to feel normal again.
Sometimes I just breakdown crying for no reason at all or find myself lost like there is missing time, I don't know where I am or how I got where I was. I start getting flash backs and feel that danger surrounds me everywhere and start to blank/numb out and shake. at other times I feel perfectly normal and sane.
I want to feel normal again.
Hi Iam,
All of us PTSD sufferers seem to have exactly this same reaction at some point in the therapy when our resistance is rising to the things that therapy is dragging out into the open. Believe me, there isn't one of us that wants to go through these memories. The one thing that I've heard consistently from Trauma survivors is that they want to feel better but they don't want to know those memories. At the point where we are really beginning to see progress, our internal defense mechanisms are triggered to do anything to prevent the exposure of the pain.
It sounds like you've been working on this a while, but let it go dormant for a decade. Likely you needed to get yourself to a safe, stable point in life before you could open up this pain again. Now it sounds like you are in a supportive spot in life, so you are opening the box.
With therapy, you'll begin to see a lessening and fading of the symptoms. They flare back when you fight hard against exposing the memories. They DO fade when they are exposed. How long it will affect you depends on how strong the fight is in you. Medication helps. A good human support structure is invaluable.
The physical changes in brain structure may always be with us. That makes us prone to startle more or have a shorter temper. However, the flashbacks and other symptoms can fade once they are out in the open. And quite frankly, the startle/short temper is nothing compared to the flashbacks and other dissociative symptoms.
Before giving into total despair, remember that there are good things in your life too. Don't let the trauma fool you into believing that there's nothing but the bad. That's a part of your internal defense mechanisms telling you that it will never get better.
I was in therapy 13 years ago for about 2 years of intensive work. I had a decade where I was mostly symptom free until something triggered me at work. Now I'm in therapy again and I'm reaching a point in my own therapy where I'm going to find it difficult to handle for a while --bringing up damage that was never dealt with before now. However, I have the knowledge that there was a point after the last round of therapy where I felt great for years. That is sustaining me.
Don't let the trauma talk you into a corner. And there isn't a "time served" function of PTSD where a time clock appears to guide you through the therapy. ("If it's year 2, then I should be feeling this....") Everyone is different and some symptoms can resolve quickly. The main factor is you. Are you ready to face these memories down? The harder you fight to keep them hidden, the longer this takes. Once they are out in the open, the memories lose much of their power to hurt.
All of us PTSD sufferers seem to have exactly this same reaction at some point in the therapy when our resistance is rising to the things that therapy is dragging out into the open. Believe me, there isn't one of us that wants to go through these memories. The one thing that I've heard consistently from Trauma survivors is that they want to feel better but they don't want to know those memories. At the point where we are really beginning to see progress, our internal defense mechanisms are triggered to do anything to prevent the exposure of the pain.
It sounds like you've been working on this a while, but let it go dormant for a decade. Likely you needed to get yourself to a safe, stable point in life before you could open up this pain again. Now it sounds like you are in a supportive spot in life, so you are opening the box.
With therapy, you'll begin to see a lessening and fading of the symptoms. They flare back when you fight hard against exposing the memories. They DO fade when they are exposed. How long it will affect you depends on how strong the fight is in you. Medication helps. A good human support structure is invaluable.
The physical changes in brain structure may always be with us. That makes us prone to startle more or have a shorter temper. However, the flashbacks and other symptoms can fade once they are out in the open. And quite frankly, the startle/short temper is nothing compared to the flashbacks and other dissociative symptoms.
Before giving into total despair, remember that there are good things in your life too. Don't let the trauma fool you into believing that there's nothing but the bad. That's a part of your internal defense mechanisms telling you that it will never get better.
I was in therapy 13 years ago for about 2 years of intensive work. I had a decade where I was mostly symptom free until something triggered me at work. Now I'm in therapy again and I'm reaching a point in my own therapy where I'm going to find it difficult to handle for a while --bringing up damage that was never dealt with before now. However, I have the knowledge that there was a point after the last round of therapy where I felt great for years. That is sustaining me.
Don't let the trauma talk you into a corner. And there isn't a "time served" function of PTSD where a time clock appears to guide you through the therapy. ("If it's year 2, then I should be feeling this....") Everyone is different and some symptoms can resolve quickly. The main factor is you. Are you ready to face these memories down? The harder you fight to keep them hidden, the longer this takes. Once they are out in the open, the memories lose much of their power to hurt.
HI Quietnow,
This is so true. My T and I find that sometimes we have to back off on working with the traumas themselves. I have written out a complete timeline of the childhood stuff though I only have partial memory of the worst traumas. We have been able to get to the point where I am no longer completely numb, but have hit an emotional block when some of the memories started coming back. Took a break I am now also working with an EMDR specialist to move further into the traumas. Yes, it is hard and scary, but I am determined. I've only gone to the EMDR specialist for 2 sessions and have only worked on developing a container to put the distressing memories and feelings in. Even so....I am totally amazed at what happened last week. All of a sudden I got sad and teary. Considering I almost always stop myself from crying getting teary floored me. I was exhausted when I got home and felt like I had been hit by a mack truck the next day. All over getting teary for a minute or two. Holy COW! It gives me great hope that we can break thru using EMDR.
I guess this is one of the hardest parts of PTSD for me to accept, that we can go along fairly symptom free and then get hit again. It is obviously truth though as so many of us have experienced that very thing. I am thankful that I do have 2 therapists that I feel safe with and a wonderful support system of family and friends. I am a fighter, we all are or we wouldn't have survived. Just need to learn to stop fighting myself, which I am doing. I will however fight to have the good life I deserve. That's the good part of being a fighter, I won't give up even when I feel like I can't go on.
This is so true. My T and I find that sometimes we have to back off on working with the traumas themselves. I have written out a complete timeline of the childhood stuff though I only have partial memory of the worst traumas. We have been able to get to the point where I am no longer completely numb, but have hit an emotional block when some of the memories started coming back. Took a break I am now also working with an EMDR specialist to move further into the traumas. Yes, it is hard and scary, but I am determined. I've only gone to the EMDR specialist for 2 sessions and have only worked on developing a container to put the distressing memories and feelings in. Even so....I am totally amazed at what happened last week. All of a sudden I got sad and teary. Considering I almost always stop myself from crying getting teary floored me. I was exhausted when I got home and felt like I had been hit by a mack truck the next day. All over getting teary for a minute or two. Holy COW! It gives me great hope that we can break thru using EMDR.
I guess this is one of the hardest parts of PTSD for me to accept, that we can go along fairly symptom free and then get hit again. It is obviously truth though as so many of us have experienced that very thing. I am thankful that I do have 2 therapists that I feel safe with and a wonderful support system of family and friends. I am a fighter, we all are or we wouldn't have survived. Just need to learn to stop fighting myself, which I am doing. I will however fight to have the good life I deserve. That's the good part of being a fighter, I won't give up even when I feel like I can't go on.
- Post starter
- #18
Sometimes I feel lame for having PTSD at all because my trauma wasn't any of the usual things people get PTSD from, in fact I'm not even sure I meet the DSM criteria. It was just a really stressful time I went through 10 years ago, I was in a constant state of stress 24/7 for about a year and I felt myself becoming kinda psychotic and empty, and the only way I got out of was to "quit" my life, leave my job, move across the country, kind of start over, but the post-traumatic symptoms have never gone away since those events of my life.
Anyway, thanks for all the responses, this seems like a nice place to get support.
Anyway, thanks for all the responses, this seems like a nice place to get support.
- Post starter
- #19
To answer your questions, medications have been partially effective in terms of being able to get up (most) mornings and do the things I need to do to get through life, therapy hasn't been all that effective but he's a cognitive/behavioral guy and doesn't really like getting into "deep" emotional stuff, so we mostly talk about strategies for getting practical stuff done. So I feel like the causes of my PTSD have never really been effectively addressed through therapy.
HI again SF. Being in a constant state of stress 24/7 is certainly enough to cause PTSD and if you have been diagnosed with it you need to accept the diagnosis if you want to proceed in getting better. Sorry, Anthony told me something similar last May LOL! He was right.
Anthony also has posted on here under articles and such how important it is to find a good "trauma" therapist. I have to say that I didn't listen to his words of wisdom. I love my T. We have been working together for over a year and have a really good relationship. We came to an emotional roadblock so he suggested that I try EMDR. As he isn't certified I had to find a therapist who is. I've only gone for 2 sessions but I can't believe the difference. Seriously, it is amazing. I still continue to see my regular T every week, but am seeing this new therapist every week as well.
Just a thought. You can always ask your T what he thinks. There are trauma specialists out there that use different techniques. It might be good to try something like that in conjunction with what you are doing with your current T.
Anthony also has posted on here under articles and such how important it is to find a good "trauma" therapist. I have to say that I didn't listen to his words of wisdom. I love my T. We have been working together for over a year and have a really good relationship. We came to an emotional roadblock so he suggested that I try EMDR. As he isn't certified I had to find a therapist who is. I've only gone for 2 sessions but I can't believe the difference. Seriously, it is amazing. I still continue to see my regular T every week, but am seeing this new therapist every week as well.
Just a thought. You can always ask your T what he thinks. There are trauma specialists out there that use different techniques. It might be good to try something like that in conjunction with what you are doing with your current T.
intothelight
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Some days PTSD feels chronic and I can manage it. Other days it feels terminal and it manages me.
We all move at a different pace and we all have different degrees of severity (symptoms).
Therapy may help. You may want to look for someone who specializes in working with 'trauma victims' (if your therapist doesn't-just a thought). Someone pointed me in this direction and I found a wonderful therapist who has made a world of difference in my life.
Therapy may help. You may want to look for someone who specializes in working with 'trauma victims' (if your therapist doesn't-just a thought). Someone pointed me in this direction and I found a wonderful therapist who has made a world of difference in my life.
Even though I wasn't diagnosed until I was in my 30's, I cant ever remember not having the feelings associated with PTSD. Personally, for me the symptoms will vary and I'm still not able to handle certain situations very well, and here I am in my late 40's...so I can understand what you're staying. It's like, will this ever stop? But I've been learning to focus more on my personal strengths and get involved in things that I enjoy, as a way to make the PTSD be less front and center. I do understand your frustration though.
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