General When Families Go Toxic.

[Eleanor]

Nothing, really to offer, just wanted to say I'm so glad things are back on the upswing, Amethist - those calm "after talks" make all the difference (at least to me:) ) It is so hard to stay in what the present is, and not get sucked into the past - even without PTSD.

You and H be good to each other. Can you two have a gentle day or two, and then get back to fighting the good fight?

Wishing a speedy resolution to all legal troubles...

 

[Tinyflame]

I'm glad amethist, that's what I meant.

I echo Eleanor above.
xoxox

 

[Meadowsweet]

I'm so glad you've managed to find the understanding between you both.

 

[Pale Warrior]

Oh Amethyst, what a messed up couple of days. With all you two are going through right now it's is hardly surprising that cracks will show and if booze is an easy way out...

Speaking for myself, I can not be doing with my husband's family. They bailed out 2 weeks after the accident and left me coping on my own for 10 years. Bolux to them.

I will say again what others have said, put your boundaries down and stick to them. Look after yourself, pampering and self care will see you rise up stronger. And he needs you to be strong.

 

[Tifanee]

Good advice, nothing really to add. My love at some point will need to have a heart to heart with his Dad and share with him the trauma from his childhood that my love kept secret from his family. Maybe it will help, maybe it won't but he is headed in that direction.

I feel sadness for what your hubby is experiencing, and I applaud you for your calmness. Where your hubby calls it your doberman, my love calls it the Aries. I have to keep the Aries in check and not let her firey self run free;)

 

[wife of]

Back in the younger days pre ever having heard of ptsd or even realising things were not just squaddie culture,my hunny liked a good bevvy with the guys.

He would repeatedly go out without keys knowing this meant I then had to wait up for him til all hours and then when he came in steaming he would have someone to assist him to bed etc.

So one night he was so pissed his mates did not dare to ring the bell and be confronted by tigerwife and they propped him up against the back door and threw his coat in through the window.

I opened the door and he spilled in onto the cold tiles of the kitchen floor and just dragged his legs in and left him there overnight.

The following morning I told him that next time I wouldnt even open the door.....

He never went out without his keys again.

 

[amethist]

The worst thing about all this is that have shown there true colours again.

Hubby left the car there and did not pick it up until Tuesday. Not one of them phoned to see when he was picking it up or if he was OK.

So as far as I am concerned now, they can all go to blazes.

 

[wife of]

Yep hubbys family are a complete anathema to me. We spent the last weekend before this admission with his and they were ok. Joe ordered some stuff from amazon for the bro in law and then when he was admitted the first communication I had from his family was "how will we get our stuff sent over now?"!!!!!!

 

[amethist]

This may be my thread, but if any other supporters want to add their bit in, your more than welcome.

 

[Pale Warrior]

I don't care who disagrees with me, but blood is not thicker than water.

Those out there with loving supportive families need to remember how lucky they are, cos from where I sit it is certainly not the "norm".

 

[amethist]

Where your hubby calls it your doberman, my love calls it the Aries. I have to keep the Aries in check and not let her fiery self run free;)

:roflmao: Tifanee, I have Aries in Pisces, so fire and water together. Have to wear an aquamarine bracelet every so often to keep the fire in check.

 

[Tifanee]

We have Aries and Aries, so lots of fire. I wonder if they make full body suits out of aquamarine material=)