When Is Enough Enough, Or Too Much?

[Deleted member 6617]

find an emotional cause behind your sleep issues, if there is one.

Hope, It took me this long to wade through the fog in my brain and be able to ask myself all the questions you listed. It is kinda frustrating becasue I don't know that the answers help. I just can't focus enough to make sense of anything.

What prevents me from falling asleep? Nothing....I fall asleep easy.​

What will happen when I fall asleep? I have nightmares...not to bad. I will get much needed shut eye.​

What’s bad about falling asleep? Rest...rest...rest​

What’s good about staying awake? Nothing​

What beliefs do I have about sleep and getting enough rest? Hmmm....this one is hard. Am I in some way punishing myself. Have a formed a habit. I like sleep. I want sleep.​

If my insomnia could talk, what would it say to me? Brain be quiet so we can sleep. The body needs the rest and so does the mind. SHHHHH......​

What is my insomnia trying to teach me? I need to learn to quiet my storm of thoughts. Quiet my mind.​

So those are the answers. How does it help? UHG...wish my brain was more clear and I could make sense of it. Any one want to analyze my answers? Give advice?

Drugs are not working. Slept the 6 hours the first night. Now I am back to about 5 hours broken sleep. Gonna talk to my regular MD. see if he has any input or advice. So afraid of addiction since I have broken free from the pain killers. Hey...it has been like 3 months clean. Okay, no counting the suicide attempt. Giving myself a pat on the back for that. Has NOT been easy! Don't want to ever have to do that again. I use caution with prescriptions now.

Thanks for any input!

 

[curiouser]

PH, is possible to connect your trauma with the lack of sleep?

For example:

What will happen when I fall asleep? Nightmares of rape/ child abuse? You will have to relive the bad things that happened to you? Could it be in part because you're anticipating not being able to sleep, so then you can't?
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What’s bad about falling asleep? Sleeping could be looked at as a state of having no control or being in a more vulnerable state.
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What’s good about staying awake? A form of protection maybe? If you're awake you can be more in control of your body, feel less vulnerable, and possibly more safe? You wouldn't have to experience nightmares, especially about rape or other abuse?
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What beliefs do I have about sleep and getting enough rest? If you sleep you're not in control and vulnerable? If you sleep, you will have to experience nightmares about the rape and basically relive it? You don't deserve sleep?
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If my insomnia could talk, what would it say to me? I need to find a way to deal and process my fears about the rape and child abuse so I can feel more comfortable sleeping and not like I have to be more aware and awake so it doesn't happen again?
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What is my insomnia trying to teach me? That I love myself so much that I'm trying to protect me from this happening again? Unfortunately it's in a confused way that is less than helpful. Maybe I could find a way to help my subconscious to realize this method of protection is no longer needed and try to process these feelings so the need for me not to sleep is no longer there?
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These are just suggestions, and I could be way off base. In any case I'm so sorry you're experiencing the lack of sleep, insomnia isn't easy. (((Hugs)))

 

[blynn895]

I truly sympathize (life long insomniac but pills work for me) - i'd just say be very careful about self medicating with alcohol, it is a depressant and can get out of control easily.. just my 2 cents.

 

[Deleted member 6617]

Curiouser,

You hit the nail on the head on several points. Yes, falling asleep does bring nightmares of child abuse. My father stalks my dreams. So does the rapist from September. Those are the ones that cause me most trauma I think. I have started dream therapy. Right before I go to sleep I think of the nightmares and consciously change or manipulate one bad part into something good. The idea is it will then change to that in my nightmare. Eventually the nightmares will become bad dreams and then just dreams. So far I have had a bit of success with it and am actually sleeping about 5 to 6 hours a night now.

Oh yes....control is very important. I feel like I am taking back control with the dream therapy. I feel like I can DO something about it.

Self love is something I really am working on, but is so very hard to shut out and replace those voices from the past. I am working hard to replace them with positive self talk and acceptance. Believing myself worthy of love is a huge issue in my therapy. I have made progress though and am beginning to look at myself differently, more positive.

Blynn, I am sorry for your struggle with sleep. This may sound bad, but it is nice to know I am not alone. Fortunately, I can't drink any kind of alcohol without my tongue swelling up and my face turning red and my hands itching like crazy. I am thankful for that because I think that is a path I could easily go down. Take Care and I hope you get some sleep.

 

[Happy Head]

Have any of you guys been on Remeron (mirtazapine)? I've been taking it since October and have had no problem sleeping... sometimes I'm getting too much(!). Before I was lucky to get 3-4 hours of broken sleep. The dreams are vivid and long though... some nightmares but those are normally environmentally triggered...

 

[Deleted member 6617]

Hi Happy Head,

No I have not been on Remeron. I am on Trazadone for sleep. It takes the edge off and there is no morning after symptoms. Very happy with it, only been on it since Nov. Sometimes I take an over the counter sleep aid with it if I am really anxious.

Happy you found what works for you. Makes a big difference doesn't it? Take Care, PH

 

[blynn895]

Hi Happy Head - I've never been on remeron, pdoc suggested it the other day for sleep but I said no, I've heard it can cause/trigger diabetes, and I have a big family history of that, so don't want to chance it. I know it does help with sleep..any side effects at all for you?
Brenda

 

[Happy Head]

Hi all, thanks for the welcome. I think it triggers diabetes because of the possible weight gain as a side effect - not sure though. The first few weeks I was on it I couldn't stop eating... I've since slowed down thankfully but not after putting on 10 lbs on a small body. At one point the p-doc bumped up the dosage becuase it is supposed to cause less sleep at a higher dose, but it did the opposite for me so I'm back down to the smaller dose. And yes, being able to sleep is a huge difference... I didn't realize how much until I started sleeping consistently.