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@desiderata310 I hope you are getting some restful sleep with your warm furry dog... hang in there, your brain and systems need time to recover from the lack of sleep -- and it sounds like you have flashback-related things to deal with too, so it's complicated... but safety and sleep, hopefully with some exercise after sleeping some more?
@greenleaf
Long strange day.. broken sleep. disturbing dreams.
Mostly I have been trying to stay asleep since well, I am not thinking about self harm and suicide there.
But I'm awake right now and shaky. Physically as well as emotionally.
can't really work out. Med has my balance all jacked up. I can't safely navigate my house without stumbling. No chance of doing a run in this condition, let alone getting to the gym to swim. Head is screaming anyway.
Dog was a welcome distraction for a bit. Helped to reground after one bad nightmare ..daymare... whatever.
However, I discovered that he can't sleep with me. His hyper dogness doesn't allow for sleep with a person yet and he made me more anxious.
Breathing through thoughts of suicide. Not going to act on them but this is torture.