General When nothing helps

[DharmaGirl]

I believe this is hurting you a lot. You sound like such a kind, caring person, I'm sorry you are going through this. Another option would be a drug rehab. People don't lost their pain meds all the time. It means she took them all and ran out. Believe me, I've seen it time and time again. The same things - I lost them, they were stolen, I gave some to a friend.

I also agree with @shimmerz, to keep yourself healthy you should stay away. You have to do what makes you feel right with yourself. I am, or used to be, an enabler. It came down to all my friends were there because they wanted something from me. I let them go, and ended up taking my time with new friends, so now I have a couple of friends that don't want me for my things.

 

[Esterio]

I thought I should up date this thread

On Thursday I got a phone call from her crying needing help, telling me that her brother had been murdered. I am not sure if this is coming from in her head or what. I was busy waiting for my buddy at the hospital and could not leave and I had my doctors appointment. So I told her I would come after that. It was snowing wet snow. I went out to find her she was way out of town. She was not where she had called from her soaking coat and hat were there I looked all over for her. My phone rang it was her telling me where she was. I picked her up and took her home with me.

She went to sleep right away. Probably had not slept in days. In the morning after a crapy nights sleep. I was trying to find out about what had happened to her brother, how she found out, what is going on. She told me a few different stories the first one is the one I am wanting to believe that it came to her in a vision. She talk about all kinds of stuff coming to her in visions. So I don't know what has happened to her brother.

I told her that what has been going on now for months and months the only time I hear from her she is in crisis and needing my help. I told her that it was hurting me to much to watch here destroy herself and all her friendships. I asked her if she liked me she said she love me as a brother. So I said do you trust me she said yes she feels very safe when she is with me. So I told her that I have a number for us to call and they are willing to help you get inside out of the weather and danger. This was not institutional thing it would be in the community and she would be supported she would have a place to live some place where we could come and help her or just come to visit.

I told her that I thought these people would help and I would stay involved and be there for her. She agreed for about 10 minutes. Then she told me she hates those people and will not go there. I don't know what to say now, so I asked her what she wanted to do. She wanted a pac of smokes and go to the beach where the carvers were working on the Reconciliation Canoe. I said ok get dress and we will go. I loaded her bag with food. We talked a little on the way not much. When she got out off my car she said nothing slammed the door and walked away. Hurt some more. This has been a bad couple of days. Now if something happens to her I will have more guilt than I all ready have.

Peace be safe my friends

 

[scout86]

Now if something happens to her I will have more guilt than I all ready have.

I think you've done everything you know how to do, and more than a lot of people would. Take a pass on the guilt.

 

[DharmaGirl]

She is really hurting your soul. Why not take a break from her at least? You deserve kind, caring, friends, not "bloodsuckers". I know she can't help what she is, but she could get help and chooses not to.

 

[Esterio]

Thanks for your responses.

I would not think of my friend as a blood sucking anything. She would give her life to help someone else. She was a native street worker working with street kids. Her old boss and I have talked lots about her and the things she has done to rescue kids from bad situations, in one of the worst districts in our country. She is an Angle and If there is anything I could do for her I would but I realize my limitations.

She is a person that I have not got he training or expertise to help her, she needs professional help. Then support from her friends with which I am an old loyal friend always have been always will be. I know she can not control what is happening. I have actively stopped helping her right at this time as it was not helping it was a waste of time and money that I don't have extra. I can not imagine turning my back on her that would be very hard for me to do.

Before I dropped her off 2 weeks ago we talk for a long time about her getting the professional help that she needs and then my other friend and I can help her as they get her on her feet into her own place with supports. I told her until then we don't know what to do what we have been doing is costing us to much physically, mentally and financially and she left me for the first time in our friendship of over 45 years without saying bye. I believe that she was really thinking now as someone she knows she trusts says she needs help. She trust me and has always been safe with me and she is very aware of that.

Today I was in to pickup the session notes from my old T and was just about to drive out when I saw her with the person I have been trying to get her to for 6 months any way. I did not talk to her but I saw her and she is with the people that can help her. I feel so relieved. I also had just got a number to call to find out about her brother. I stopped at my friends to let him know I had seen her and he told me he had seen her brothers x and she said she saw him yesterday so he is alive and well. Maybe we can turn the corner and get things going good again for all. I don't know anything else yet but this was one very positive day the first one in months and months.

Thanks for your interest and responses
Peace be safe

 

[scout86]

Thanks for the update! I've honestly been wondering how she was doing. (And you too. :))

 

[Esterio]

Thanks scout. I'm glad you are there think about her. She really does deserved to be help. Right now it is all up to her to change direction. I talk to her old boss yesterday he is very involved also. He thinks she is ready to except the help she needs.
I'm doing ok good news helps some. Thanks for caring.

Peace be safe

 

[scout86]

Hey, I'm thinking about you too, because I know that sometimes the hardest thing in the world is watching without being able to help.

 

[Esterio]

It has taken a toll on me as well. Thanks for your support. When nothing you do makes a difference what do you do you try something else. thanks again

Peace be safe

 

[Esterio]

Just an up date for those who are still interested. I received a phone call yesterday from my friend. I was the first good phone call from her in a long time. She has left town and is with family and doing ok. She sounded better only dissociated a couple of times. She is in a good place with family that loves her. I hope and pray that she will stay there and continue to move forward.
Thanks for everyone who responded to this thread it was much appreciated by me. Thank you friends

 

[Deleted member 41765]

I am so very glad to hear this @Esterio! You've been such an important person to her, a strength and support, and I hope this news warms your heart and gives you a bit of peace. The world is a better place with you in it!!!

 

[Esterio]

:happy::joyful::happy::joyful::happy::joyful::happy::joyful::happy::joyful:

Says how I feel for her