When People Come Near Me

[wallflower]

I've been working on awareness of my own body language. When people come near me, I tense up and give off "stay away" signals. This just happens automatically, like breathing, and I don't have the memories for what causes this. I'm working with a therapist, but it seems to be a long, slow process.

Do any of you experienced this or have you overcome it??

 

[alleycat]

Apparently I do this often -- puff up and make myself look dangerous to keep others away. I often don't realize I'm doing it and I don't know how to make it more conscious or stop myself.

 

[maddog]

Allegedly I do this also, begin to physically recoil and tense up whenever people enter the invisible zone of physical safety around me. Sometimes I'm aware of it and can consciously feel my body reacting as though activated by some unseen "on" switch, and sometimes I'm not even aware of it, even when I consciously try to be. Obviously, such reactions are the symptom, and not actually the problem or issue to be dealt with, and it is my incredible mistrust and insecurity around people that fuels this reaction.

It's taking me a long time and a lot of work in therapy to start to become aware of my body's signals and what they're telling me, let alone what to do about it. Sadly, people don't tend to understand this, or to necessarily have a lot of empathy for why I might be reacting in such a way, so it certainly doesn't help to promote interpersonal relations or ease in social settings.

Maddog

 

[PerfectlyFlawed]

I do the same thing, I either give someone a glare, or I just ignore them by not making eye contact.

People think I am either weird or rude. LOL.

I cannot help it, some of it is just habit and other times, I have so much on my mind to even deal with how I am reacting.

 

[AzureMind]

I have so much on my mind to even deal with how I am reacting.

Same here, except I have this calm, expressionless look on my face, when I look at people, it's directly in the eye, and it's a cold, unflinching look, not to mention the decidedly calm, monotonous tone of voice I have...I just have an aura of "don't f**k with me today" but I'm actually a pretty nice guy; old habits die hard you know?

And PerfectlyFlawed, well put...WELL PUT.

 

[Taven Carlsen]

Do any of you experienced this ...

Yes.

... or have you overcome it??

I'm afraid not. This problem started with me towards the end of The Crazy Time, then naturally subsided somewhat over the next maybe year or maybe two. But then it's been getting slowly worse again ever since.