When To Return To Work

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

Although the parents probably want you back (which is a GOOD thing, because it means they appreciate you as a teacher)

That is a nice re-framing thought that I have never looked at it that way. Thanks.

That is, you're going from a full day program to maybe once a week therapy and a full time job on top of that?

I've been on half days at the PHP for a couple of weeks now. I will go back to therapy once or twice a week. It is a lot and that's why I am trying to make sure I really think it through.

 

[Suzetig]

I think the idea of going back part time would be sensible. It's usual where I am to have a phased return after and absence of a couple of months - would they negotiate that with you. I'm going to be a bit controversial here and say that your health concers and accommodations you might need are no business of the parents whose kids you teach. You have a right to privacy around health care and your employment contract is with the school, who have a duty to support your well being. They also, separately have a duty to provide adequate teaching for the children at the school. In saying that, I know small communities complicate thins, but I'd be expecting the school to maintain clear boundaries and to help you deal with parents who think they have a right to know about or comment on your situation.

What does your doctor think about you going back? If they're in favour, it might be worth working with them to look at the kind of support you need. I do think timing is important, it's much less disruptive all round to have an absence extended because you've had a set back than to go back, find you're not coping and end up off work again. I've been down this road, so I do feel for you.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

They also, separately have a duty to provide adequate teaching for the children at the school. In saying that, I know small communities complicate thins, but I'd be expecting the school to maintain clear boundaries and to help you deal with parents who think they have a right to know about or comment on your situation.

My principal has been supporting me. She helped me word the original letter that in now way specified why I was taking a leave of absence, just that it was medical leave of absence. And your point helps me realize something- they don't have the facts about why I was out so, therefore, I know what they suspect, but shouldn't worry so much because they don't know the details about why I was out.

What does your doctor think about you going back?

The staff at the program think I am ready, as long as I have support for after school. I will have the substitute with me for the first week as back up should I need it. They are helping me put in a few accommodations as well into writing.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

(This first part may seem random, but it's important.) While walking up and down the aisles of a fabric store (and for the first time not getting overwhelmed by all the colors and patterns), I looked for fabric. I am going to make my own tiered skirt. I have recently begun to teach myself to sew, something I have wanted to do for years. I looked at the colors and I started to doubt my abilities about which patterns and colors to match together. I didn't know what the "right" ones were to choose. Then, I calmly told myself it's my skirt and I can match whatever I want and give it a try. I brought 6 bolts to the kind woman at the counter and asked her opinion, but even before she said anything I knew one didn't fit and she agreed so we got rid of it. It was a long process of getting the fabric cut since I had no patter, just an idea in my mind. When I walked out of there, I knew what to do about school.

I talked to one of the therapists at the program yesterday about my mixed up feelings. She gave me all the reasons that I am ready. She thinks going back full time right away is going to be hard. She told me I could postpone my discharge and take more time off if I felt that was right, but that I had to make the decision. Magically picking out fabric somehow helped me search my heart and I knew what to do. I am graduating on Friday. I am going back to work with the substitute in the class to aid me. I am going to make a point to eat lunch with someone and not spend the whole time alone (as that often got me in a down spot previously). I am going to arrange for one person each evening to come to my house to help with dinner, play with my boys, or keep me company if I want it. Mostly it will be my mom or my aunt, but might include a few church members with whom I feel comfortable.

In making that decision I decided to begin making my positive plans for discharge. Thanks to a gift certificate from my mom, I went out and bought two new skirts. One for the last day of the program and one for my first day back. Simply as a treat for myself. Then, I asked my aunt and my mom to come to lunch with me to celebrate my "graduation". I also asked about the evening support and both seem up for it. I am still scared, but in reality I have learned a lot in the last month and a half of the program. I just have to start believing in myself. So I am taking that leap and believing what everyone in the program is telling me- I am ready. So I have three more days and I am embarking on my new journey.

Thanks everyone for your thoughtful comments and advice. I carried a lot of that around with me while making my decision, too. I appreciate everyone taking the time to respond because it is so nice to have that connection to others who can understand and offer advice and support.