Where To Meet A Potential Mate???

[Lionheart]

I have been socially isolated for many years and and now find myself lonely and wanting a female companion / mate / life partner, but don't know where to look.

I don't go to bars and I can't work so those two places are out of the question, but I wonder where I can meet people and find a potential mate?

I also can't do much physical activity due to medical conditions that cause me to have low energy and low stamina.

I have considered doing some type of volunteer work, but know that I can't handle the physical aspects of such an endevour (I suffer from several chronic illnesses). I would need to find a very low impact activity that would allow me to meet people and find a mate.

Does anyone have any thoughts and/or suggestions? Thank you in advance!

 

[desiderata310]

google meet up. There are activities organized in your area and grouped by interests and ages

 

[The Albatross]

Actually ruling out bars and work are good things. Trust me.

 

[The Albatross]

I actually met my husband when I was in a college class.

 

[Powder]

Lionheart, is there an activity that, just by doing it, brings you joy?

If so, I would pursue your bliss and find her along the way. If you like speaking, which I think you would be good at, maybe join a Toastmasters club. If its cooking, that, and so on. Just go somewhere where you can shine at what you are already positive about, and that will attract her. You are a good writer. :) I'm sure you can think of something.

If you go for the activity, it won't seem like you are looking, so that will take pressure of you.

Best of luck for a worthy friend or more than friend for you.

 

[Lionheart]

Lionheart, is there an activity that, just by doing it, brings you joy?

I like to sing but was not gifted with the voice for doing so and only sing when I am at home alone. I like to write and draw, but I am not incredibly gifted with that either so I don't know, but perhaps some type of creative art class might work.

I will continue to brainstorm some ideas. Thank you for getting me started.

Peace,
Lion

 

[The Albatross]

Food for thought, people don't necessarily need to be particularly gifted in areas of interest. Fellowship, like mindedness, and a willingness to learn are the key to socialization. Not aptitude.

Case in point, I am a four octave range perfect pitch tenor, but I can't read music. I memorize my music.

 

[Nebulustrix]

I don't know how much this advice will count since I also lack a romantic partner and the only one I ever had was my abuser... but!... here goes.

While it is all well and great to find someone who shares your interests, I don't feel shared interests are necessarily what make a good partnership. Sacrificing time to spend with another on an interest you do NOT share is an excellent way to show commitment, care, and love to someone- as it shows you value their companionship more than time spent on your interests. I believe it is good to at least have a few things in common, but not really necessary.

So - the question to ask in looking for a potential partner is - what really matters most? What is it I'm really looking for? Do I just want someone to spend time with? Do I just want someone I can laugh and joke with? Do I just want someone who I can talk to about our shared interests? Or is there something else I'm looking for in a romantic partner, mate, companion, etc?

Everyone's answers to these questions will be different, and I think the really important thing is finding someone who's answers are most similar to your own. For example-

I know that I am not willing to commit myself romantically to someone I will not marry. I am a no-sex-before-marriage girl, and a no-living-together-before-marriage girl. Old fashioned, yes. And while I find love and companionship important I believe that marriage has a greater purpose than just finding someone I like to spend my time with. Marriage is first and foremost a partnership for the raising of children and striving to provide them with the best circumstances possible to prepare them for life outside the home. After that, marriage is a promise, on both sides, to support and help one another succeed in their dreams and endeavors, to grow spiritually, and to develop their character. When I find someone I'm ready to commit myself to, I will be promising to give my all to helping and supporting him in becoming the best he can be, and I will expect the same commitment from him.

Now, there will be many who do not agree with the way I view things,and that's okay... for them.

Dating/searching for the companion I would like is something I have a very hard time with right now, but when I do feel up to it, I would look for him through church or other areas I might find someone with a similar outlook on relationships and marriage.

So I challenge you to ask yourself - What really matters most, to me? What is it I'm really looking for? - Once you have the answers to those questions, you will know how and where to look for such a person and how to recognize it when you find her.

 

[Lionheart]

I don't know how much this advice will count...

what really matters most? What is it I'm really looking for? Do I just want someone to spend time with? Do I just want someone I can laugh and joke with? Do I just want someone who I can talk to about our shared interests? Or is there something else I'm looking for in a romantic partner, mate, companion, etc?

Your advise counts for quite a lot actually and I agree with you that these are very important questions to ask myself.

I too value love and commitment; ...a commitment to love, encourage, and support one another's goals and dreams and a commitment to individual, personal and spiritual growth. So these are some of the important values for me although I am not necessarily marriage-minded for reasons of raising a child, I do hold to some "old fashioned" values where intimacy and commitment are concerned.

I am thinking out loud here, but I needed to write this out so that I can see for myself what it is that I value. I think personal values, and perhaps life goals, are the most important similarities to share with a potential partner. I value love and beauty, truth, honesty, wisdom etc. above materialistic possessions and prestige. I value common goals and quality time spent with a partner as opposed to simply having someone to watch television with. I value laughter, warmth, openness, compassion, and intimacy too.

I believe kindness and respect are important values where love is concerned and so, I guess I need to ask myself where I would find a lady who shares these types of values and who possesses these personal qualities.?.

Thank you for sharing your views with me and for steering me in a positive and healthy direction.

Sincerely,
Lionheart

 

[Hashi]

I think shared interests are usually associated with shared values.

At my book club, I'm with people who like to consider different viewpoints and talk about ideas.

At my creativity group (where all levels of talent and ambition are welcomed) I'm with people who are interested in personal expression and supporting each other.

In writing groups (for beginners) I've been with people who want to connect with others, explore their world and develop personally.

In language classes, I've been with people who have curiosity, an interest in different cultures and a sense of adventure.

I think our interests reflect the qualities that are important to us. If I was competitive and had material ambitions, you'd have found me at the How to Succeed in Business club.

If you follow your heart, you'll be meeting some like-minded people. I'm for meetup.com and local classes or groups. (Always meeting in a public place, not someone's home or anywhere isolated.)

 

[marylouise]

A spiritual or religious group, such as church. Of course you have to find the right group for you, but people there will be likely to share your values and be looking for community too.