Where's my hashtag?

[Sovimuv]

Why not organize a campaign for male survivors?

 

[Fewup]

Because sexual harrasment/assault is awful no matter who it happens to.

 

[Kihu]

Yeah , actually. Grow up.

Gender inequality? Is an issue.

The Me Too campaign? Isn’t about gender inequality. Or “Are all men sexual predators?” Or any other issue you want to read into it.

It’s about victims of sexual abuse and sexual harassment saying “That happened to me”. Nothing more, nothing less. Public awareness of an issue.

Complaining about victims participating in something so simple, something which is trying to achieve nothing more than better awareness of something that has effected them? Simply because you have a different issue? Really?

You feel like your issue needs better public awareness? Go ahead and start a public awareness campaign. Nothing stopping you.

But having a dig at victims of sexual abuse or harassment saying “This is an issue”? because you feel left out? Pfft.

 

[Wonota]

You misunderstand me I think. I'm going to try this one more time, as I mustn't have been clear enough.

I think the metoo thing is ineffective, as it a social media fad. I could be wrong, but I think any awareness that is raised through this will be forgotten when the next fad comes along. I didn't say I am offended by people that participate. I just don't see the benefit. I don't think social media platforms such as Twitter, Instagram or Facebook are effective for promoting social change, due to the rapidity with which various movements come and go within that media.

What I found offensive, was anyone that wants to turn this into a gender thing. I don't think it should matter. I don't feel underrepresented or left out. I just don't like when people take things such as this to stir up negative gender politics crap. That's it.
I don't want to start a separate campaign for men, because that is exactly what I am bothered by. I don't want it to be about gender. The people trying to do that one way or the other is what I find offensive. I don't care more about female victims. I don't care more about male victims. Does that make sense?
I don't care about gender.

I hope that clears it up. Though if not, please just ask me to clarify instead of calling me a child.

 

[Ine]

That's one way to see it.

Another is to look purely at sexual assault & sexual harassment.

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I'm not even looking at my feed.

I'm reading articles about the movement and this is what they say.

 

[Wahi]

Bit like getting offended about breast cancer awareness campaigns because “there are other types of cancer”. Grow up...

Really?

You have no clue how hard it is for men who have been victimized to get help and you have no clue how anyone who isn't a woman victimized by a man is sidelined in the world of being a survivor.

No clue whatsoever.

 

[Wahi]

Yeah , actually. Grow up.

Gender inequality? Is an issue.

The Me Too campaign? Isn’t about gender inequality. Or...

Wow, really?

Nobody is digging at these survivors!

It just sucks being left out and feeling like your abuse doesn't matter.

No. Clue. Whatsoever.

Really.

 

[Kihu]

No where have I read that only women can participate in this campaign. To the contrary, I’m seeing plenty of men participate.

If you’re feeling sidelined by this campaign because you’re a male victim? That’s a personal issue that you’re projecting onto this campaign. The only person making you feel sidelined by this campaign, is you. As far as I’ve seen, this is a pretty gender-free concept. Simply saying “Yeah, that’s happened to me too.” And it doesn’t seem to be relevant who it is saying that - part of the point of the campaign, seems to me, is bringing attention to the fact that victims of sexual abuse and harassment are everywhere.

So, if you feel like men get sidelined? Join in perhaps. Make the point of saying “Me too” because, simply, it’s happened to you too.

 

[Wahi]

No where have I read that only women can participate in this campaign. To the contrary, I’m seeing plenty of men parti...

Not a man.

Yes I feel sidelined.

 

[Akaja]

I hear you.
I'm a woman and I've had a lifetime of experience witnessing men oppressed by women and have myself experienced abuse and oppression at the hands of women.

Although all my sexual abuse has been at the hands of men. I don't like gender bashing, female chauvinism, male bashing or any sexist ideology at all.

My partner has had a lot of it and it sickens me. He got messed up by sadistic female teachers and a principal (but a male one as well). His first live in girlfriend was stabbed to death by a woman at a night club. He got a brain injury getting involved with a woman who stole off her previous bf, who then organized a home invasion, that my guy happened to be in, and got beaten, nearly to death. That woman abused him for years, physically and emotionally, she still does it, she even punched me (he ended up getting her pregnant after he got out of hospital, pretty much unable to talk, at that stage, from the brain injury he sustained, they had two kids). Did she take advantage of a traumatized, badly injured and disabled man? Probably.

His kids were abused by her too. His second babymama was no better, they both tried to kill him after he left them and abused his children. Lied about him to police, had him charged. Police tend to take the women's side here. Some women lie and use the system to destroy the men they desire but can't dominate.

When he went to try get help; a desperate, traumatized man with a brain injury, he was treated abominable by services. They all just assumed he was the abuser, because he's a man. But he is caring and honest not like the women he was abused by.

ABUSE IS NOT A GENDER ISSUE

And patriarchy hurts men too.

I can't stand man bashing and sexism.

I'm sorry you are feeling like your gender is being attacked and discriminated against.

Some of my favourite people are men. It's not the gender that counts, it's the decency and integrity of the individual.

Of course I despise rape and sexual preditory behaviour too and despite the fact that I have been preyed on, raped and sexually exploited by numerous men,
I am a woman who will stand up and say, let's make this a human issue, not a gender issue.

.It's about respecting people and that goes for men and women.

 

[Ufetar]

every time someone posts "Me Too," I think about how no one gives a shit about yeah, me too, because I'm a man, and according to social media

My understanding is the #metoo hashtag is just about sexual assault/violence and isn't gender specific.
Probably more women are using it than men because more women are sexually assaulted than men, and because there is an even greater stigma about being sexually assaulted as a man than there is as a woman and so more men are hesitant to reveal this truth about what happened to them. Its sad, sexual assault should not happen to anyone.

 

[Gefa]

This is absolutely a gendered movement. I don't know in what world people live who don't see it that way. Weinstein was found out, all his victims were women, ergo, it happened to them BECAUSE they were women, and cue the solidarity campaign...by other women. Nevermind, of course, that this not a gender or sex issue, but a power issue that can happen across the board.

Men have no say whatsoever in this matter, whether or not they have experienced this as well. Here, they are seen as part of the problem (by virtue of being male,) never as the victim, not least because men supposedly have all the power to stop abuse from happening, enjoying the benefits of the patriarchy and all. Even more than that, men are now being asked to take responsibility in their complicity, for not speaking out when witnessing this, for enabling, or maybe even having made an off-hand comment themselves. Now all men are abusers. Nevermind that they experience the EXACT SAME bind as women when considering reporting inappropriate behavior.

I'm a woman and yes, sexual harassment is a problem, but I can only imagine how disorienting, scary, shaming, and confusing this must feel for men...most all for those who have been victims themselves.

So no, men aren't invited to say "metoo." Heck, they'll be tarred and feathered for trying to pull an "alllivesmatter" trick and stealing the attention from women's issues. (Count yourself lucky if your social media scrolls haven't gotten to that point. Mine have.)

This movement makes me sick. Not least because its starting to conflate sexual harassment (blurry lines in many cases; not in Weinstein's of course) and sexual abuse (no blurry lines whatsoever.) When the tone becomes so loud, and the blacks and whites so bright I wonder how we can adequately differentiate and help those who have really suffered.