Which voice to listen to? New job with problems

Widow_of_one

MyPTSD Pro
Potentially this is happening because of this:

So, you're responding in fight/flight mode, and sometimes dissociating entirely because your brain has associated this with pre-existing trauma issues.
Yes!! Yes!! I just want to run!! What can I do about this, quit?

Isn’t that most people who like music?

This.
I don’t know. People have said to me that I am constantly humming/singing which I believe because so many people have said it through the years recently I’ve noticed that they “represent” a era around a trauma and/or apply to events in my “current day” life.

Thank you all so much for helping!
 

ruborcoraxxx

MyPTSD Pro
Isn’t that most people who like music?
No, it would be significant tracks/songs/sounds that re tightened to specific periods of times, places or emotional states. Sometimes songs that I like, sometimes not. Most of the time, not especially songs that I like. And it worsens with stress or certain sequences of thoughts, to the point of being so blaring it causes headaches. You can think of it as someone who’s sort of turning the volume up to cover all the rest. Sometimes it can be soothing, but most of the time it’s something rather aversive. At least for me it’s a warning sign something not okay is going on, externally or internally.
 

Friday

Moderator
At least for me it’s a warning sign something not okay is going on, externally or internally.
Ah so. Makes sense.

For me it’s the opposite. When my mind goes silent -particularly on the music front, although I have several thought streams running concurrently, that’s an ADHD situation normal thing- or everything jumbles into an indistinguishable mess, a blurry or jagged cluaterf*ck... that it’s a warning sign that something is seriously wrong.

Virtually everyone I’ve ever met has some kind of subconscious connection running in the background; for most it seems to be music, but for many it’s quotations, or equations… the connections our minds make between art & reality… creating an internal dialogue/awareness/interaction between what we know & what we’re experiencing.

That would be on the utterly normal human experience kind of thing.

Using that as a defence mechanism? Blaring out OVER reality, instead of connecting to it? Is both kind of brilliant, and sounds utterly frustrating.

The sheer number of ways that PTSD f*cks with connection? <low whistle> I don’t even have words for.
 
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