Why am i mad

[OIF/OEF Chucky]

I feel like i set myself up to be mad because i know in my heart i'm a doer. when someone comes to me and wants something done it like i take it upon my shoulders to help get it done whether or not they asked me to help . Sounds like. good trait? but it goes both ways when some one come to me or mentions an issue and has no solution and is effortless in finding a solutions besides bringing it up , It pisses me the F**k off. i understand if you don't know how to solve all your problems , trust me i do i got a bunch of problems i can't solve. But it's because i don't know how to yet , not because someone was willing to Sincerely help me and i turned them down or away.
Long story short I want to be a better person and be surrounded with people that want the same for them selves and others around them . But sometimes i feel i'm hindered in my decisions to make my life better because i have high hopes for those i allow close to me. and when they shoot them self down before they even get started it's frustrating because with poor effort we will always get poor results.

Is this, a control issue or what?

 

[J'qel]

It's likely a side effect of depression. Irritation is one of it's manifestations. I'd suggest talking to your GP or a therapist about how you're constantly mad at simple things. Yes, I know you don't like talking, but that's the solution-and like you said-you like things to get fixed when there's a solution. Noone said you had to like the solution :P (many don't).

People who have problems will shoot themselves down, that's normal. They feel miserable, they're hardly doing it to offend you, they're just terribly unhappy and they're expressing it.

It's like you coming here and venting about how much certain things tick you off-just the sad version rather than the angry one.

 

[ladee]

It also sounds like you are wanting people who are more positive and motivated in your personal circle.I am a 'doer' also.
Interesting you brought this to the threads. Just last night I had a situation that has been building with a person in real life that I never hear from...that only calls when her boyfriend relapses with alcohol
Uh. How many times can you say the same thing?
I know I put a stop to it last night.
I'm sure I was rude to a degree because the person never listens...no..it's not about control. Its about taking up my time with repetative bullshit.
I finally said for her to pick her pain. Stay or go. Work on herself or not. This is the LAST conversation we are having about this.
I want people around me who are at least trying. That is supporting me also.
Nope....doing a healthy thing to me..guess we are really mad at ourself for certain people to suck the life out of us.

And never do a thing about their problems..
Find new friends. Parasites always find another host.
It doesn't have to be you.
Thank you for sharing!

 

[J'qel]

Oh yes, certainly. If it's a same old broken record, there's a point where you have to say "look this is how you fix it, we both know it, so you need to decide if you're going to stay where you are or if you're going to do something about it."

If it's just a person you try to help and they say "honestly I feel like a sad sack of crap and I'm not up to it today." that's a different matter altogether.

Not everyone processes the same way or at the same time. I like finding fixes. My husband likes ranting. He drove me crazy until he finally said "look, I don't want it fixed, I'm just blowing off steam and I need a sounding board to nod and smile." (paraphrased) Once I knew that it wasn't so much that they were his problems, but that he was ranting about stupid people doing stupid things, I could join in. :P

...we have some good "why are people so stupid?" rants now. :P