Why am i not worth it?

[lostforgottensoul]

Don't waste time on stressing about past.

I don't really have a choice here. It's not something I can "put behind me" or not think about. I think that's the same with everyone here really.

Are you in a better place today?

Not really. Having Chopper with me (my service dog) has allowed me to talk to people when out. It is a buildboard of sorts and having a dog with you seems to cause everyone to want to talk to you (and mostly him) but I have relaxed a bit around people. This can be heard on the videos I do. But I haven't met any friends and the insanity that just happened in my family turning my life upside down and inside out has caused me to go back in my shell a ton. I was just thinking today that I need to get Chopper (and myself) back out there. But its like a huge effort at the moment to just get to Walmart. I'm unable to get myself to go everyday. It's effecting my job too. So, yeah, I just wish shit would settle down a least a little bit in my life. But it's history repeating itself over and over again. People leaving. Family leaving. No one willing to deal with even the smallest stuff. It sucks to be 100% alone. No one to call when my brain goes to the dark place. No one to text. Just no one....