Why Are We Being Judged?

[Freedomfighter]

Someone please tell me why we have to suffer so much and be judged on top of everything? Why do people hurt us despite full well knowing that we are in pain?
With full fledged trigger moments that throw us into panic and we react as we did when the PTSD set in?
With our reactions to real or imagined dangers that simply transport us back into abusive times? Why are we being judged for that? It is not our fault.
Have been abused by so many and so many have tried. Have given so many people a chance and all they did was to turn into abusive harassers. So then why am I being judged when my illness propels me into panic? Why would anyone make fun of me simply because I am ill?

And why would anyone attempt to get close to me, despite the knowledge that their aggressive behavior will only trigger me again?
Why do I still remain happy, yet when I do allow friendly people close they just turn out to be another abuser?

Why are there so few good people who will not take advantage of us?

Why do we have to suffer like this? Surely it is not our fault when our brains short circuit, when we act in ways that simply result from having PTSD.
Why should I be judged when people with bad intentions approach me and attempt to make it look like a joke when they try to harass me even more and then minimize their criminal acts?

Why should we be judged when all we have had was abuse, when we are unsure of what intentions other people have? Why should we be judged when our distorted cognitive thinking propels us in the wrong direction?

Why can people not just honestly state their intentions towards us? Is that so hard? No, it surely is not.
Why can people not be honest and just come straight out and tell us exactly what they want, what they really want?

Why do people have to withhold their true intentions and think that they can abuse us in the meantime?

And again why are we being judged for the horrible behavior of abusive people?

I am a very friendly person and I am appalled at dishonest people who hide behind their true intentions.

So many questions.....

 

[joeylittle]

Did something specific happen?

Why can people not just honestly state their intentions towards us? Is that so hard? No, it surely is not.
Why can people not be honest and just come straight out and tell us exactly what they want, what they really want?

Im wondering if you want to write more about this.

Sometimes, people aren't clear on exactly what they want because they don't actually know.

I'm also wondering how you know you're being judged; I'm not saying you're wrong about it, just am wondering how you know. Because it's easy to think one is being judged, without it being the case.

 

[Seasounds]

I share your pain. And I don't know the answers to your questions, for sure.

My ideas; being straightforward is often difficult for many people, and in many situations it is considered rude. I've wished for more straightforward communication at times, too, just so I could 'learn more socially appropriate' mannerisms.

Good friends were the only ones who would 'let me in on' the possible meanings underneath the silent treatment. When people don't understand, or feel frightened, they can create judgements to protect themselves. I do it everyday, myself, when I am scared.

Sometimes I feel judged, and it is painful. The more I have communities--like this forum and ones in my community (Alanon, good friends,etc.) the more secure I feel, That is the solution I can share with you.

What I do know is that you are a good person.
:hug:

 

[Deleted member 34328]

My first thought is what @joeylittle asked. Has something or someone done something to cause this? I've seen your posts often. You are a wonderful compassionate and often insightful person.

You sound very angry and hurt. At least there's an outlet here.

Why do people say and do what they do? Ignorance? Living in a bubble? I don't think the majority of people intentionally set out to hurt or expose us...although there are always exceptions. They just don't think before they act or say something. They aren't us, so as much as some may want to, they just don't get it.

 

[saraemerald]

It hurts to be judged and misunderstood. Sometimes people are just ignorant or don't take the time to understand us. Sometimes people use other people's hardships and hurts in bad ways to boost their own egos. Other times, people may just have too much going on in their own lives or too preoccupied to react well to our PTSD symptoms.
If what has happened to you was malicious, hugs to you and sorry that happened.

 

[Rani G2]

Freedomfighter, did someone dissapoint you so deeply?

 

[Ladyghosthunter]

If I'm correct, I'm thinking Freedomfighter is generalizing things they've gone through lately or have for a long time.

Some people are fake, some people want to use you, abuse you-they have nothing better to do than feed their own ego. I've been judged all of my life and finally have the cajones to give them the middle finger. I've also set the record straight with people about their behavior only to told I was the reason for this, that and the other. F*** them. Take their bulls*** and shove it up their...they're not worth your time to worry about. Look how low they are about themselves to do what they do to you. My family was like that and that's why I dumped them-especially my brother.

As far as PTSD is concerned, they want to expose your trauma to ridicule on how "unnormal" you are or how screwed up you are. Sounds like my family. They put the excuses on you and your trauma and they think they're being smart or solving the problem. I wonder if they would tell that to a soldier back from battle with PTSD and tell them the same thing. A lot of people are so damn ignorant about what we have that they can't tell their butts from third base. As I stated, you're not the one that's screwed up-they are.Telling them to screw off tells them you're strong enough to not take their crap however the lingering effects are there from the damage. This I know of. I live with it day in and day out. Breathe.

I wish I could give you a big hug. People play the blame game all the time and get away with it until we stand up for ourselves. I had to stand up for myself instead of cowering in a corner-it did me a lot of good and the stressful people are gone. The evil is gone and I've done my best to get out of an abusive situation-the thoughts are there though. It will take time and help to get over the lingering effects of what others did to us.

 

[saraemerald]

If I'm correct, I'm thinking Freedomfighter is generalizing things they've gone through lately...

I LOVE your response to Freedomfighter's post.
So many people in general are so quick to judge or speak nasty st#t when they don't even know what they are talking about. And when someone is having a hard time, they like to take advantage of it to make themselves look or feel better about themselves instead of having the balls to actually help the m out. Sometimes someone is opening up about some personal stuff because maybe they have no one else to help them out, then they get judged for it.
People who do that usually have nothing better to do or are miserable and nasty people that try to make others feel bad for simply being human and actually having feelings.

 

[Ladyghosthunter]

I LOVE your response to Freedomfighter's post.
So many people in general are so quick to judge or...

Thank you Sara! It's strange. I use my PTSD to fight back when others can't. I've set a few people straight on more than one occasion because they come out with this passive-aggressive tone of BS to another person. It's malignant narcissism-my Dad plays that card well as those who use the race card for their convenience when not winning an argument. "You're the problem" or "tough s***" or "I'm tired of hearing about this". I just love the responses people come up with dealing with someone with PTSD. Troublemakers make it known that they see your weakness and prey upon you like a hyena and its pack. I've used that weakness, turned it around and made sure that I won't be taken lightly. Some folks see that as "I'm angry". No. I'm telling them I'm not putting up with their ****. I had to turn this around because I got tired of being beaten down. You gain strength when you fight back, at least to me.

 

[saraemerald]

Thank you Sara! It's strange. I use my PTSD to fight back when others can't. I've set a few peo...

Me too! And I'm getting better at it. I didn't use to stand up for myself or call people out on things though. I just used to play the sweet, nice, peace-making card and that doesn't work out too well.

 

[Ladyghosthunter]

Me too! And I'm getting better at it. I didn't use to stand up for myself or call people out on thi...

Oh I know, Sara! It's harder than hard to put up with people's mouths and actions. Eventually the perpetual fog clears in seeing troublemakers' actions that you finally do something about it. There are so many people who can't fight back. I wish I could fight for them, you know?
*HUGS*

 

[Freedomfighter]

My first thought is what @joeylittle asked. Has something or someone done something...

Well, my situation is rather unique. After being stalked at work at an air force base things began to snowball, because I was privy of information that could bring the leadership down on this well known air force base in a minute. That being said corrupt entities, including corrupt security officers and corrupt police officers are involved. Snowden comes to mind because when one turns into a whistleblower as I did then everything seems to be fair game to them.
Being stalked wherever I go is my daily reality, to being threatened on the roads wherever I drive, including other states, is also a reality.
Recently there was an active attempt of mental health care people to attempt to stick me into a psych ward, a.k.a. lets take her out in any way we can here before she spills the beans........
This catapulted me into a terrible PTSD spiral, lucky to be alive. Horrendous realization after I found out what they were planning. In order to stop me from moving further in the criminal justice field they made one last attempt to declare me as mentally incapable of performing my duties.

I have three college degrees, I am very disciplined and capable and these people attempted to make me look like a mentally unstable person that is not capable of performing my work. Yes that really hurt, not to mention the rumors they spread about me....