Why Did You Do To Me, Facebook?!

[Riot]

After I went to my first therapy session in the beginning of January, I was racking my brain trying to figure out what the f*ck was wrong with me. I decided to try and decompress and hit up Facebook to look at pictures of my daughter and chill out. I went to search for someone to see if their account was still even there, and what do you know, Facebook popped up a friend suggestion for the sister of my childhood rapist.

Absolutely worse timing ever, seriously.

I'm having a really hard time with disassociating the last three weeks. It feels like the absolute and worse case of disassociation, and it just seems to be getting worse and worse after each session. At least now I have a name for it, I guess.

 

[Stickler]

Oh lovely :(

 

[Riot]

@Stickler, yeah, you're telling me. No idea what the f*ck to do, I feel completely trapped by the situation I'm in. My therapist doesn't even know (although I've sorta subtly hinted) about it. I just freeze up and can't even talk.

 

[Stickler]

...grounding techniques help against dissociation and other things, like the emotions causing the dissociation right now?

Feeling trapped is what I call a canned feeling.
You are an adult now, you have a LOT of self defense options you did not back then.
You're safe, not trapped.
You have been triggered and are feeling that canned feeling.
It's not real NOW.

 

[Riot]

@Stickler, yes, there is the logical side of it all. Definitely.