Thanks Missd84. I know that they aren't bad people but they just don't really understand me well. I hope that you can manage to work things out with your mom as well. My mom is sort of similar but since I don't live close and she doesn't visit because of work and her own kids, I don't have to listen to it. When I visit I always get up earlier than at home since if I don't she gets annoying. She is sort of a get-up-and-go type who can't sit still to save her life so it drives me crazy. When I visit she wants me to go out and do something every single day, or do multiple things which involve crowded places or long car trips. Actually last time I went to visit at her place my mom, step dad, youngest sister, or my own kids kept "accidentally" waking me up sort of early, like 7am or 8am. Even if I go to sleep at night I sleep badly, I'm sure you know what I mean right? I actually snapped one day when I was really tired and stressed and said "If anyone wakes me before noon tomorrow I will kill them!" before going to bed that night. Needless to say I got a very good night sleep and slept in for a long time till I felt better. Even though I'm very shy around others, when I'm trapped in a space with others my facade of niceness starts to fade away until I snap and turn into a super B if I don't get left alone.
Seems like you snap sometimes but you feel guilty and want to explain it to your mom. I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about and it could be she just doesn't want to understand cause she feels butthurt. You know, the whole "I'm your mother so why do I have to be treated the same as everyone else." I've gotten that from relatives before. I'm not sure how you could explain the sleep issues. Half the time I don't understand myself what keeps me out of my bed but I think part of it is that I actually feel that my head is clearer at night sometimes and I don't look forward to the day. Night time kind of feels like a time of day when there are no expectations so my stress fatigue is a little less but daytime is exactly the opposite. Feels like the whole world is awake and is waiting for me to hurry up get things done. Makes me feel exhausted just by breathing if I think about it, like there's a fog in my head. Sometimes I feel like a doll that can't move or even think properly until someone replaces the batteries. But I can see how your mother would turn that around on you. I've had people call it laziness or shirking my responsibilities or whatever so I tend to hide my habits a lot. Even when I actually sleep at night (if I can for more than 3 hours) I don't feel refreshed at all. I inevitably end up taking a nap during the daytime or late afternoon and my schedule gets screwed again because I'm not tired at night. It really is hard to explain to people who don't understand. I tell my husband it's like having a cold virus or allergies every day of your life. I'm not sure if you feel the same at all since you said that you feel safer sleeping during daytime but it's still difficult to explain to people who can somehow just sleep when they tell themselves to.
Seems like you snap sometimes but you feel guilty and want to explain it to your mom. I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about and it could be she just doesn't want to understand cause she feels butthurt. You know, the whole "I'm your mother so why do I have to be treated the same as everyone else." I've gotten that from relatives before. I'm not sure how you could explain the sleep issues. Half the time I don't understand myself what keeps me out of my bed but I think part of it is that I actually feel that my head is clearer at night sometimes and I don't look forward to the day. Night time kind of feels like a time of day when there are no expectations so my stress fatigue is a little less but daytime is exactly the opposite. Feels like the whole world is awake and is waiting for me to hurry up get things done. Makes me feel exhausted just by breathing if I think about it, like there's a fog in my head. Sometimes I feel like a doll that can't move or even think properly until someone replaces the batteries. But I can see how your mother would turn that around on you. I've had people call it laziness or shirking my responsibilities or whatever so I tend to hide my habits a lot. Even when I actually sleep at night (if I can for more than 3 hours) I don't feel refreshed at all. I inevitably end up taking a nap during the daytime or late afternoon and my schedule gets screwed again because I'm not tired at night. It really is hard to explain to people who don't understand. I tell my husband it's like having a cold virus or allergies every day of your life. I'm not sure if you feel the same at all since you said that you feel safer sleeping during daytime but it's still difficult to explain to people who can somehow just sleep when they tell themselves to.
