Why Love Literally Hurts

[Lionheart]

Being ignored causes the same chemical reaction in the brain as experiencing a physical injury

Why Love Literally Hurts

Psychologists have discovered the neural link between social and physical pain

By Eric Jaffe

Most of us see the connection between social and physical pain as a figurative one. We agree that “love hurts,” but we don’t think it hurts the way that, say, being kicked in the shin hurts. At the same time, life often presents a compelling argument that the two types of pain share a common source. Old couples frequently make the news because they can’t physically survive without one another. In one example from early 2012, Marjorie and James Landis of Johnstown, Pennsylvania, who’d been married for 65 years, died just 88 minutes apart.

Read full story: Why Love Literally Hurts

 

[Deleted member 28942]

What a coincidence! A friend told me about this study a few hours ago. I just opened MyPTSD and saw this post. Positive and negative experiences have an effect on us. Experiences like being ignored, neglected, dismissed, or betrayed make us feel hurt. Regardless of the popular opinion that no one can make us feel something.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I dont even have to read the entire thing to know that emotional pain causes actual physical pain, I live it every day of my life.

While, yes, a 3 story fall caused my more apparent physical pain and disabilties, i experience a lot of non-related physical pain and one that mocks a heart attack as I was rushed to the hospital as thats what was thought was happening when on an EKG and other tests, my heart was fine.

I also agree that when the elderly individual's spouce they have loved for 50 yrs, passes away, with their bodies not as a younger person's, that this physical hurt can kill them. This isnt new. It is just now are they studying this.

 

[fizgit]

I have been betrayed and at times because of my brain I almost don't even know what to write, it's hard to find words, I just keep reliving the trauma in my mind. I live with my parents and have no friends, the ex boyfriend who I thought loved me so much completely destroyed me, I have been going through 7 years now of psychological abuse and have been alienated and had everything taken from me. I have an art degree that really only makes itself useful in big cities and i am stuck in a very small town.

I cannot watch any kind of tv it is rare, sometimes I just sit all I can do is sit. I used to love music and now I have to try the exposure thing, my parents think I'm just rude but my anger from all of this is new I never used to be this angry, I literally see no hope at all. I've been humiliated by dozens of people including my ex, and it's all I think about is these people laughing at me everyday. I have never felt this bad ever, I don't know how I get out of bed. It's hard to tell someone I have ptsd, I think my mom is getting it now because I told her how much music gets to me.

The therapist I have seen knows I have trauma, but I don't think she understands how many years I have had it, I can't remember all the traumatic things anymore my memory is just that bad, if I were to go schedule an appointment, she would be like so tell me, and I would just be blankless, I can't even articulate anymore because of everything. I can't believe I managed to type all of this.

I am sorry for just rambling but this post really gets to me, I have been abused in this way and I feel useless, totally useless I am 28 but it feels like I am 80. I can't smile, I feel hostile and on edge.

I read somewhere that some people are actually born without "empathy" born without it, can you imagine how much easier life would have been if as a teen I would have been informed of this. I always got angry and cried and yelled at people telling them they have no soul for the things they have done to me and it's like they don't even care they cannot even process it, I wish I would have been born like that instead they have all turned me into an angry vegetable.


I just want to say thank you to everyone on this forum for expressing words I can't and sentences that sound straight out of my head, this place is my only place for some sense of security to my brain, this is it.

 

[Gadgie]

You are not the first person to feel like that, and you won't be the last either. I for one know exactly what your going through, and believe me, there are many others on here who do as well.

Everyone goes through a bereavement at some time in their lives, as well as emotional break-ups, but we all handle them in different ways.

The last two years in my life have been the worst in my life, but I'm sure that some one else, some where has gone through worse. It's that belief that stopped me from doing something stupid and permanent.

But since then, I have found hope, and even a small glimpse of a future, keep that in mind, good luck

 

[Pixielicious]

Despite everything that I've been through... I Still believe that it's the lack of love that creates the pain....
I Don't believe that love itself ever causes pain, just the absence of love...

 

[Gadgie]

That's where I can't really agree with you, love changed my life for ever, and that song title "Love Hurts" is ever so true.

But finding out it wasn't there, .........that can really hurt as well?

 

[Pixielicious]

That's where I can't really agree with you, love changed my life for ever, and that song title "Love Hur...

I agree with you on this actually... You said it yourself
" But finding out it wasn't there, .........that can really hurt as well?".... That's what I mean when I say the lack of love hurts :)
The song love hurts, by Roy orbison?

 

[Pixielicious]

I need to rephrase what I previously wrote..

I wrote "I Don't believe that love itself ever causes pain, just the absence of love..."
I believe that love is a such an intense feeling and when you really love somebody it can actually cause your heart to feel pain, kind of like your heart feels like it's going to burst because there's not enough room in your heart to contain it... But it's a different kind of pain to when your heart is broken...

 

[Gadgie]

Aye! no problem I know exactly what you mean, it's like everything else, you have to go through it to understand it, and even then, there no guarantee that you can cope with it?

I've been alone now for nearly two years, and it's only now that I'm starting to get used to it.

 

[Pixielicious]

Aye! no problem I know exactly what you mean, it's like everything else, you have to go through it to un...

I don't know how you view love, but I find love to be a very complicated thing....Yet Very simple too...
I mean, what exactly is it if we rationalise it?
We can love somebody and not be in love, or we can hate somebody but think we're in love with said person..
In my own personal experience of love, I follow my heart because no matter what my head says, I know that my heart speaks louder and more truthfully about love itself.....at 47 I Still can't figure out what it's all about lol but I still firmly believe in it.
But I do know what love isn't, and it never ever purposely hurts another person maliciously...

 

[EveHarrington]

I hate to point out the obvious----

So I won't.

;-)

But really, I was excited that some study actually investigated why love actually hurts some of us. As in LOVE ITSELF-------not the absence of love, not losing love, etc.-----which is something totally different. But alas, it was an incidence of dishonest labeling of articles in order to garner interest. I mean the title "why the absence of love literally hurts" would garner a big DUH! as a response and nobody would read about their research. We'd all say "ok captain obvious, thanks for telling me something I already knew!" I feel duped. I hate to feel duped. Congrats article writer on your misleading title. Now please go back and do research on why love itself actually hurts. Oh-----right. People like me are freaks and nobody cares why we feel pain when it comes to love. Sigh.