smmkaymmmkay
New Here
Alright this might be a bit "grim" but I cant help the way I feel and I just want to see if anyone can relate. When I get upset and triggered about what happened in my life, I ask the question and make the point... if my father was going to abuse me - WHY didnt he abort me? Why did he have a child and then abuse and hurt it? Why not just NOT have a damn kid?? If I have a kid in the future I will want to love it not hurt it. I get that he is sick and has a mental illness but I will always argue that that is not a good enough excuse. I struggle daily because I want to know WHY. I will never get that answer but I also just cant help but make the argument that I never had to be here. I didnt choose it. I feel like I am on an endless rollercoaster of shit every damn day and nothing gets better... rant over.