My photography talent: got focused in my freshman year at Esperanza High School and it has become one of the ways I cope with my depression. Lately I haven't done much to enhance it because of being preoccupied with school and everything. I did some wedding pictures at a friend's wedding for free and I was told that I did just as good as the professional that she hired.
I love doing diverse things with this art of mine. I enjoy using creative mediums such as feathers to enhance a feeling within a photo. There isn't one type of photography I will not test out. I have learned throughout my nineteen years that I just kind of got lucky learning the skill. It came to me naturally. I can't say I've had any proffessional training, but instead I try new things when I shoot. Such things have become a second nature. I use what works to my advantage.
I learned black and white film photography last year. It is fun using different cameras. I enjoy my fujifilm point and shoot just as I do with the canon I think in both measures it is about the same to come by a spectacular photo even if it takes a little adjusting, more patience, and time. I am easily distracted by the details that make a photo stand out.
I am sick and tired of putting my passions on hold just because I've gotten defeated. I guess that's just the pessimistic side of me letting out its rage to phase me with more depression.
My collages: Well, they are another step of my aesthetic. They aid me in creating a piece of art to cover my walls so they aren't so bare and just the bland color of bone. I love getting the lividness that drones me out by inflicting pain upon the magazines by ripping, much rather than do such on my self. That's another story in itself in which I will share in a little bit.
I enjoy doing what I must in order to become satisfied with my work even if it means ripping a section out of the postersized collage and adjusting it up to my par. I don't mind intigrating a name in a collage and going around it. I will do themes of any sort. I have the patience to cooperate of what it is that you need
My raps: They began progress around the time of my junior year of highschool. I used them to enhance my learning as well as others around me, nonetheless. It gave my projects a more dynamic expression in the way I saw the necessity to learn in a whole new height. I am able to write raps of any kind. Pretty much, I am able to write one in a interval of five minutes if there is a defining topic. I've done the impecable. I've written a rap for a medical core class about the respiratory system featuring the avator character, a rap for my medical assistant front office/ unit secretary class about good and bad customer service. So even bland topics can be enhanced with the expertise that I have in my hands. If you were to look in my yearbooks you would see some supportive comments of my raps and artistic ability in general.
I love to stop and write what I need to say to the world in order to replenish their spirts in order to entertain or uplift. Music is a huge outlet to many of us who need a place to get away from the environment. It seems as though everyone enjoys what I posess.
My writing: will tell you who I've become, how I feel,what i've been through to get to where I am in my life etc. I've been told that I have a way with words. I've always have loved to write ever since I was a little kid, such as poems or stories. I've been tld that people could relate to me and that I could inspire the world with my words. I've begun to do such in a gradual way. I have worked with kids in vacation bible school and had them repeat jesus rhymes in which I wrote to help them learn parables in a more memorable way, though I will admit I am not religiously savvy whatsoever. I have no need to hold back anything, ask and I'll be straight up and if you judge me based upon what I say I will move on and use your judgement as an outlet to encourage me to do more great things to prove you wrong.
My life: I was born March 5, 1991 in the city of Whittier. I stayed for the first five years of my life in hacienda heights.and moved to yorba linda. I was not your average girly girl, but instead a tomboy. I was involved in many sports such as baseball(lil league), softball,basketball, and soccer. So as you can see I was pretty active. I moved to another area of yorba linda in 4th grade and changed on up schools. There, I was in choir for two years defeating the odds by singing high when my voice was deep. I also was in the school play The thing that sticks out the most is when in 8th grade randomly a girl stuck a thong on my head.
I'm sure this feeded my depression that I would soon come to terms with later.Looking back on things it seems as all peoples little remarks and actions made me feel less at ease with myself than I should've been. I tried to not let it bother me, however it did eventually take hold of my life and end me up in the trail of the misery facade of my life.Highschool was filled with drama. I at one point even had to eat lunch with myself in order to resist it. It eventually lead to my downfall, junior year it begun and senior year it lead to a year of wholehearted hell.
My depression soon led me to do the unthinkable. If you were to see me on the streets you probably wouldn't be able to tell what I've been through unless you are good at reading body language. I will admit that I did become a cutter, but it wasn't and obessive thing,. Just a lil here and there, which I thought weighed out the pain enternally. If you were to pay attention to detail when you met me you may notice thy scars of my past. We all have outlets or ways out to stop thinking about what is bruising us in general and when we don't have anything coping skill wise to release what is leading to a delay and don't really care if you hurt yourself because you feel empty, helpless, blank etc.
Such is really not a big deal compared to the rest of the things that blew over me senior year.
Flat out, I dealt with hospitals, medicines, doctors, ct scans, xrays, mri's, and surgery. I suppose I went through all this in one year was to enforce the fact that no matter what happens event wise in my life, I am suppoised to thrieve rather than fully take the greedy way out and die. I've felt this way so many times and I am tired of this mindset. Maybe just maybe, if I start helping others in ways I never thought possible I'll be able to recover from the shock that was pierced upon me in 2009. May as well come out with the big boys of 2009. I have had headaches for over ten years daily. I eventually figured out that I had a cyst in my left sinus and eventually got it removed on new yrs eve day and they also found a hole in another sinus; go figure. Yes, the recovery and new year was vicadin savvy, and no I am not a druggie., for the record.
But, that isn't the main reason I am here to share about my life.
This event happened in a course of three months and kept me away from school for almost three months. Somehow, feeling so shitty I managed to achieve my best grades in highschool. How do things like this happen? I ponder about alot of stuff like such on a daily basis which consist of, why are people so self absorbed, will I ever actually feel okay?, will I ever find someone to comfort me because I feel so young internally because I feel as though I've been deprieved of genuine love and affection on a consistant basis?, why can't I cry when I want a replenishing release?
The biggy is....Why and how did my world turn upside down and how did it lead me to become hospitalized four times in a course of three months!?! Yeah I know it's like how can this happen to a person that is barely beginning her life and has so many talents. I've been told that none of this should have gone down. Honestly, all it did was make me feel like a psychotic freak as well as traumatized me way to much than needed.
It is a bummer that I can't really dismiss this from my life because it was a big time in my life. I still think about it time and time again.I am gradually titrating off my meds because I am tired of having to rely on them it seems like they controlling my life! I think the risk can be worth it or it can also mess me up and I can drone down into my hole that I just came out of.
I may not have a job necessarily but I do by going to therapy twice a week in order to eventually help mend my wounds. I would like to share with the world what I wrote and did during my stay in these mindboggling hospitals. Gah, just typing that word trips me out. Ain't nothing to it but to do it yaya!
Why does it take so long for one to carry through with their intentions? I know why this is.
a) It’s a huge risk.
b) You don’t know what the outcome will be.
c) You doubt if you have what it takes.
d) You don’t know if people will approve/like what you have to give or show.
e) You don’t realize the potential you have to show the world.
f) You don’t take what people tell you to per sue because of external commitments.
Undertaking declaration:
Now, it is absolutely normal to go through such a phase. I’ve done it before, but got no bites so I gave up on it. In my life, I’ve been through a lot that a person should never go through in a lifetime, period. In these horrid circumstances I had actually gotten worse. Here I am trying to redeem my pessimistic quitter attitude.
My depression has droned slightly, and I may as well show the world what my aesthetic can do to impact many not just for recovery but in general as well per se.
Depression is so common nowadays that I have no intent to hide what prevents me from doing what I love. Beyond such, the people that take my talents for granted is what makes me want to prove them wrong. I don’t only want to do this to aid me but others in their daily lives whether they are stable or struggling. I know what it feels like firsthand to feel discombobulated, defeated, unworthy, empty, etc. No one likes to have no one to go through life alone.
One thing I need to do in my life is to mend mine and other peoples wounds nonetheless. I can do this by sharing what makes me the person I have become to this point in my life. I know for a fact that I will be able to help everyone in some diverse way according to what they need and deserve. Everyone deserves to be happy and enjoy their talents to make them the unique individual that they potential that they have, even if it seems impeccable beyond belief. All it takes is someone to reach out to them and help them get on the right path. It will take time and effort certainly but it is so worth what the end result can achieve in due time.
It isn’t anything about me, but much rather what I can show you in order to shape you to live the best way that you can so that you either have no doubt you want to live or simply just reassure you that anything is possibly whether or not to use your niches. If you don’t exactly know right now it’s completely normal because there are so many possibilities and opportunities that will compel you to enjoy something.
I can promise you one thing, I will give you a friend that will listen unlike these self absorbed people which you reach out to and give you nothing in return, and shun you. You don’t deserve it. I have no reason to do that we all have no intention to make you feel any worse, I don’t judge. I am controlling what would usually make me livid, by doing this I am becoming a better person each and every day by taking the steps in order to adjust to my new life and persona.
The question at hand is how are you to help me through this transition?
· My poetry.
· My photography.
· My collages.
· My raps.
· My personal experiences.
And whatever you ask of me to make you overcome the obstacles that prevent you from declining your ambitions and faltering in order to live a better life.
The question at hand now is what is the identity of the person willing to show their life to assist others?
Flat out, I don’t exactly know who I am; in that that scene takes a plethora of time to come upon. I am me if anything, I was born in Whittier California with my last name meaning beer brewer. Quite frankly I’ve realized that Pivovaroff is more of a tongue twister if anything. I’ve gotten used to people trying to decipher how to say it, which took some patience to get used to. My first name as well as my middle name is extremely less difficult and quite common Melissa Nicole. I am nineteen years old and live in Orange County, city wise Yorba Linda.
I love doing diverse things with this art of mine. I enjoy using creative mediums such as feathers to enhance a feeling within a photo. There isn't one type of photography I will not test out. I have learned throughout my nineteen years that I just kind of got lucky learning the skill. It came to me naturally. I can't say I've had any proffessional training, but instead I try new things when I shoot. Such things have become a second nature. I use what works to my advantage.
I learned black and white film photography last year. It is fun using different cameras. I enjoy my fujifilm point and shoot just as I do with the canon I think in both measures it is about the same to come by a spectacular photo even if it takes a little adjusting, more patience, and time. I am easily distracted by the details that make a photo stand out.
I am sick and tired of putting my passions on hold just because I've gotten defeated. I guess that's just the pessimistic side of me letting out its rage to phase me with more depression.
My collages: Well, they are another step of my aesthetic. They aid me in creating a piece of art to cover my walls so they aren't so bare and just the bland color of bone. I love getting the lividness that drones me out by inflicting pain upon the magazines by ripping, much rather than do such on my self. That's another story in itself in which I will share in a little bit.
I enjoy doing what I must in order to become satisfied with my work even if it means ripping a section out of the postersized collage and adjusting it up to my par. I don't mind intigrating a name in a collage and going around it. I will do themes of any sort. I have the patience to cooperate of what it is that you need
My raps: They began progress around the time of my junior year of highschool. I used them to enhance my learning as well as others around me, nonetheless. It gave my projects a more dynamic expression in the way I saw the necessity to learn in a whole new height. I am able to write raps of any kind. Pretty much, I am able to write one in a interval of five minutes if there is a defining topic. I've done the impecable. I've written a rap for a medical core class about the respiratory system featuring the avator character, a rap for my medical assistant front office/ unit secretary class about good and bad customer service. So even bland topics can be enhanced with the expertise that I have in my hands. If you were to look in my yearbooks you would see some supportive comments of my raps and artistic ability in general.
I love to stop and write what I need to say to the world in order to replenish their spirts in order to entertain or uplift. Music is a huge outlet to many of us who need a place to get away from the environment. It seems as though everyone enjoys what I posess.
My writing: will tell you who I've become, how I feel,what i've been through to get to where I am in my life etc. I've been told that I have a way with words. I've always have loved to write ever since I was a little kid, such as poems or stories. I've been tld that people could relate to me and that I could inspire the world with my words. I've begun to do such in a gradual way. I have worked with kids in vacation bible school and had them repeat jesus rhymes in which I wrote to help them learn parables in a more memorable way, though I will admit I am not religiously savvy whatsoever. I have no need to hold back anything, ask and I'll be straight up and if you judge me based upon what I say I will move on and use your judgement as an outlet to encourage me to do more great things to prove you wrong.
My life: I was born March 5, 1991 in the city of Whittier. I stayed for the first five years of my life in hacienda heights.and moved to yorba linda. I was not your average girly girl, but instead a tomboy. I was involved in many sports such as baseball(lil league), softball,basketball, and soccer. So as you can see I was pretty active. I moved to another area of yorba linda in 4th grade and changed on up schools. There, I was in choir for two years defeating the odds by singing high when my voice was deep. I also was in the school play The thing that sticks out the most is when in 8th grade randomly a girl stuck a thong on my head.
I'm sure this feeded my depression that I would soon come to terms with later.Looking back on things it seems as all peoples little remarks and actions made me feel less at ease with myself than I should've been. I tried to not let it bother me, however it did eventually take hold of my life and end me up in the trail of the misery facade of my life.Highschool was filled with drama. I at one point even had to eat lunch with myself in order to resist it. It eventually lead to my downfall, junior year it begun and senior year it lead to a year of wholehearted hell.
My depression soon led me to do the unthinkable. If you were to see me on the streets you probably wouldn't be able to tell what I've been through unless you are good at reading body language. I will admit that I did become a cutter, but it wasn't and obessive thing,. Just a lil here and there, which I thought weighed out the pain enternally. If you were to pay attention to detail when you met me you may notice thy scars of my past. We all have outlets or ways out to stop thinking about what is bruising us in general and when we don't have anything coping skill wise to release what is leading to a delay and don't really care if you hurt yourself because you feel empty, helpless, blank etc.
Such is really not a big deal compared to the rest of the things that blew over me senior year.
Flat out, I dealt with hospitals, medicines, doctors, ct scans, xrays, mri's, and surgery. I suppose I went through all this in one year was to enforce the fact that no matter what happens event wise in my life, I am suppoised to thrieve rather than fully take the greedy way out and die. I've felt this way so many times and I am tired of this mindset. Maybe just maybe, if I start helping others in ways I never thought possible I'll be able to recover from the shock that was pierced upon me in 2009. May as well come out with the big boys of 2009. I have had headaches for over ten years daily. I eventually figured out that I had a cyst in my left sinus and eventually got it removed on new yrs eve day and they also found a hole in another sinus; go figure. Yes, the recovery and new year was vicadin savvy, and no I am not a druggie., for the record.
But, that isn't the main reason I am here to share about my life.
This event happened in a course of three months and kept me away from school for almost three months. Somehow, feeling so shitty I managed to achieve my best grades in highschool. How do things like this happen? I ponder about alot of stuff like such on a daily basis which consist of, why are people so self absorbed, will I ever actually feel okay?, will I ever find someone to comfort me because I feel so young internally because I feel as though I've been deprieved of genuine love and affection on a consistant basis?, why can't I cry when I want a replenishing release?
The biggy is....Why and how did my world turn upside down and how did it lead me to become hospitalized four times in a course of three months!?! Yeah I know it's like how can this happen to a person that is barely beginning her life and has so many talents. I've been told that none of this should have gone down. Honestly, all it did was make me feel like a psychotic freak as well as traumatized me way to much than needed.
It is a bummer that I can't really dismiss this from my life because it was a big time in my life. I still think about it time and time again.I am gradually titrating off my meds because I am tired of having to rely on them it seems like they controlling my life! I think the risk can be worth it or it can also mess me up and I can drone down into my hole that I just came out of.
I may not have a job necessarily but I do by going to therapy twice a week in order to eventually help mend my wounds. I would like to share with the world what I wrote and did during my stay in these mindboggling hospitals. Gah, just typing that word trips me out. Ain't nothing to it but to do it yaya!
Why does it take so long for one to carry through with their intentions? I know why this is.
a) It’s a huge risk.
b) You don’t know what the outcome will be.
c) You doubt if you have what it takes.
d) You don’t know if people will approve/like what you have to give or show.
e) You don’t realize the potential you have to show the world.
f) You don’t take what people tell you to per sue because of external commitments.
Undertaking declaration:
Now, it is absolutely normal to go through such a phase. I’ve done it before, but got no bites so I gave up on it. In my life, I’ve been through a lot that a person should never go through in a lifetime, period. In these horrid circumstances I had actually gotten worse. Here I am trying to redeem my pessimistic quitter attitude.
My depression has droned slightly, and I may as well show the world what my aesthetic can do to impact many not just for recovery but in general as well per se.
Depression is so common nowadays that I have no intent to hide what prevents me from doing what I love. Beyond such, the people that take my talents for granted is what makes me want to prove them wrong. I don’t only want to do this to aid me but others in their daily lives whether they are stable or struggling. I know what it feels like firsthand to feel discombobulated, defeated, unworthy, empty, etc. No one likes to have no one to go through life alone.
One thing I need to do in my life is to mend mine and other peoples wounds nonetheless. I can do this by sharing what makes me the person I have become to this point in my life. I know for a fact that I will be able to help everyone in some diverse way according to what they need and deserve. Everyone deserves to be happy and enjoy their talents to make them the unique individual that they potential that they have, even if it seems impeccable beyond belief. All it takes is someone to reach out to them and help them get on the right path. It will take time and effort certainly but it is so worth what the end result can achieve in due time.
It isn’t anything about me, but much rather what I can show you in order to shape you to live the best way that you can so that you either have no doubt you want to live or simply just reassure you that anything is possibly whether or not to use your niches. If you don’t exactly know right now it’s completely normal because there are so many possibilities and opportunities that will compel you to enjoy something.
I can promise you one thing, I will give you a friend that will listen unlike these self absorbed people which you reach out to and give you nothing in return, and shun you. You don’t deserve it. I have no reason to do that we all have no intention to make you feel any worse, I don’t judge. I am controlling what would usually make me livid, by doing this I am becoming a better person each and every day by taking the steps in order to adjust to my new life and persona.
The question at hand is how are you to help me through this transition?
· My poetry.
· My photography.
· My collages.
· My raps.
· My personal experiences.
And whatever you ask of me to make you overcome the obstacles that prevent you from declining your ambitions and faltering in order to live a better life.
The question at hand now is what is the identity of the person willing to show their life to assist others?
Flat out, I don’t exactly know who I am; in that that scene takes a plethora of time to come upon. I am me if anything, I was born in Whittier California with my last name meaning beer brewer. Quite frankly I’ve realized that Pivovaroff is more of a tongue twister if anything. I’ve gotten used to people trying to decipher how to say it, which took some patience to get used to. My first name as well as my middle name is extremely less difficult and quite common Melissa Nicole. I am nineteen years old and live in Orange County, city wise Yorba Linda.
