Will He Come Back To Me

[bell]

that he is everything in your life then he leaves you with no reason no contact then you wish your death come before this day.

If someone is "everything" in your life, how much importance can you really put on your own happiness? This person probably noticed you in the first place because you were off living your life, not living for him to contact you. Therefore, by turning into a worried person you are changing as much as he is changing...

I think you need to think about what makes you happy despite him, because no one (with the exception of maybe one's children) should be anyone's "everything," that's just stifling and hard to maintain. And puts way too much pressure on the other person.

 

[jmni]

You must feel so abandoned. Don't underestimate how hurt you are right now. He lead you to believe you would have a future together, and now he's vanished. For one thing you are right to distrust him and anticipate he would do this in the future. He's shown you what kind of person he is and that he is unreliable. He basically broke your heart and has ignored all contact you've tried to make.

My advice is to move on. Unless he was in an accident and is in a coma or has amnesia there is no reason to welcome him home with open arms. Maybe it's time to start reconsidering what kind of person he is.

 

[Taylor87]

@bell Im totally agree i shouldnt trust him blindly and put him number one in my life

@jmni Im dying to know the reason for leaving like this for this long! I still pray for him even if i feel so hurt deep inside from him

 

[jmni]

It is very difficult to be in touch with your own emotions when you have ptsd. But just because you have ptsd, it's not an excuse to be a completely selfish dic*. I know this has really hurt you, but this is really his loss and his failure. I can only imagine how much you want to know, but you may never find out. No matter what though, he was the childish idiot to behave to do this to you and he probably doesn't have any great reason, if he's being this pathetic. He couldn't even confront you like a man.

 

[Nico]

@Taylor87 Horrible story and mine is quite similar, but different in some aspects. What ever happened? I think jmni gave some eye opening advice...there's no reason he couldn't man up...esp after 2 years together. It wasn't like you both were dating a couple months...that I would understand a cowardly disappearing act. I've been shut out and I've known my guy for 20 years and we have been (were?) together over a year!

 

[Tammy2676]

Hi all, I have been in a relationship with a man with PTSD for about 10 months. What I can say is that they hate themselves A LOT. They would find all sorts of artifices not to commit to you, some of which WILL break your heart. They appear to have no roots, no moral compass but the truth is they feel unworthy of being loved and are petrified at the thought that one day you will tell them just that. And leave them. They are some of the most fragile souls I have ever met. Yet so beautiful...

The only way to be in a relationship with them is to be selfless. If you start thinking about yourself and what you aren't getting, you are just going to get hurt. And worse, they react very badly to being made to feel guilty. It is a self defense mechanism, and they would rather walk away than say sorry. Because their burden is already heavier than they can take.

So if you have self confidence and can love unconditionally for 2, go for it. Seeing the true person inside past all that pain, even for a few minutes, brings a lot more satisfaction than all the roses and chocolates and serenades in the world. Because it means you made them feel loved. You made the pain go away and they took a breath of life.

Don't think they don't know. They are hyper aware, as pain makes them hypersensitives. They will see your pain, but will deny it because it would be like the drop that makes the glass of water overflow... I don't know if I will win this battle, but I have faith. The same faith he had when bullets were flying past him.

It only takes a small candle to light up a dark room.