Will My Therapist Force Me To Go To Hospital?

[Rumors]

I wish nurse nurse would follow me around daily and be the voice of reason and reality!

Maelstrom, I understand you are in a lot of pain and you most definitely do need to talk to your therapist about all of this however, if not a cry for help then why would you ingest pills? You can term it a cry for help or a need of attention but either one, hell yeah is scary as crap!

It wouldn't matter to me if NN deemed it as attention bc you desperately need some and that is OK! In life we all need attention!!! I want you to get the attention and help you need and deserve. Healthy attention is ok, M. It is ok to ask for help but make sure you are willing to take the steps necessary to fix the problem. If it is in a hospital setting, then so be it! You are far to valuable to not give yourself every possibility to feel better.

Hang in there! I was glad to read you were going to tell your T a full disclosure! You are courageous and wise!!! I would be sad if something happened to you!

NN, can I hire you by the hour? I love your advice as it comes from a loving place but is also no bullshit. It is reality.

 

[nursenurse]

Maybe I should start my own column, "Dear Nursenurse", lol. Thanks, Rumors, you made my day :)

 

[lightfoot]

Hi, I read your story with a lot of interest, firstly you are so brave for admitting to yourself the reality of these feelings.

I have tried a number of times in a few different ways to end my life and although I consider myself lucky not to have been sectioned, I do have some liver damage and am also covered in scars and probably at some point should have been sectioned. I find it really hard to even just write some of the things I have done but from this I understand some of your pain and confusion.

Im not sure why you have these feelings or even why I get them but I hope I can help in some way. Do you fear succeeding to some extent or failure and ending up hospitalized. For me I fear being put in somewhere where I cant come and go as I please more than anything, maybe it's this fear that has stopped me the last few times from actually doing something.

Speaking to your DR as well as your therapist might help you. My DR understands that sometimes, I have to be outside when I need to be and agrees with my MH nurse and husband that being locked in will just make PTSD symptoms worse in my case. If you talk through these fears and feelings with them, there could be something else they can offer you.

I dont want to sound like I know exactly what I am doing, sometimes I dont. You are so brave to share and admit your feelings, you should be really proud of yourself. Im always in total denial with my nurse, psychiatrist and doctor, my husband tells them what I feel for me, he doesnt always get it right but I just sit there like a little mouse, on good days, I try and joke everything off. Please dont act like me, it's really bad and I know the only one Im really lying to is myself.

I also believe like everyone else whos posted that it doesnt matter if it was an attention thing, an experiment or test or anything else, you need help and attention and you deserve it.

Be proud of yourself for facing up to your feelings and if speaking to your therapist helps, then that is the best way to go. Im sorry I cant shed any light on why anyone gets these feelings but I know we're all different people inside although our syptoms are the same.

 

[lightfoot]

This is me being mrs sensible now, Im good at that with others.....usually, just not with myself.

 

[maelstrom]

Thank you so much everyone! I just want to tell you guys that I was okay and I did get sectioned and ended up staying in the hospital for three weeks. It was actually a good experience--many of you here were absolutely right. I needed it and in the end I was scared to leave. The people there (staff) were so nice and I felt a great sense of loss at the time of discharge.

Lightfoot I understand your fears as you did mine, but now I think it is not so bad after all, and if you think it would make you safer you might want to consider it, though I know if you think it might worsen your symptoms and you and your doctor know best. Also different hospitals can be very different and I can imagine how some might be traumatizing.

Now I'm back in the real world everything seems hard again. The most difficult thing is to go from being surrounded by caring people to being completely alone in my fear and pain. I still have my therapist, of course, but now it seems not enough. The hospital has made me more needy, or greedy.

In real life I don't have anyone who's there for me, so I'm almost completely reliant on my therapist and psychiatrist, but these relationships are professional after all, and the sessions are short far apart (at least it feels that way). I find that I'm starting to be oversensitive, and every little thing my therapist says reminds me that she is, after all, only my therapist, and she can't really be there for me beyond sessions. That in itself makes me sad and reluctant to bother her, which results in more painful feelings.

I find myself wanting constant care and protection as I deal with loss, including the loss of the hospital, but now there are no nurses there to check on me and I feel incapable of dealing with it on my own. Sure I could call a hotline when I'm in a crisis, or maybe I could even call my therapist, but if I don't call then nobody would come to my rescue.

I know I sound like an adult baby, but that's the part that bothers me the most: In the hospital you don't need to call for people to come to your rescue--they take it for granted that you may need help, but in the real world everything is professional and I feel like a great burden to everyone...Alright, this is depressed talk, but it's so hard to be alone.

Sorry...First I was scared to go into the hospital and now I'm scared when I'm out. I feel that I'm just a never ending problem myself. I think the hospital is a good thing, but to give a person something warm and then take it away causes so much pain.

 

[quaintpapercut]

Hi maelstrom - I'm glad that you were able to find the reprieve you needed while in the hospital. I'm also sorry your hurting so much.

The hospital has made me more needy, or greedy.

Please don't see your legitimate need for care, support and protection as needy or greedy. It's such a negative way to characterize something that is vital to survival. I'm just taking a stab in the dark because I don't know of your history, but I think a lot of us, who have had to fend or care for ourselves from a very young age, will experience very strong emotions such as you are when we actually have a period where we feel cared for.

In real life I don't have anyone who's there for me, so I'm almost completely reliant on my therapist and psychiatrist,

It's ok to be reliant on your therapist and psychiatrist . That's what they are there for.

I find myself wanting constant care and protection as I deal with loss,

Again, I think it is completely normal to feel this way. You just experienced a period of feeling protected and safe and it must of felt very good, especially when life can be so hard for many of us. I don't think you sound like an adult baby at all. You sound like someone who needs a lot of compassion and understanding.

 

[Pencil]

Don't know if it will help, but I'm in the same boat, but without a therapist and psychiatrist.

Life without any real emotional connection is very, very hard, and unnatural, actually. But what the solution is, I don't know either, sorry.

 

[maelstrom]

Pencil I'm sorry to hear that. Did your hospital just let you out without referring you to someone, or is it an issue with insurance or money? I'm glad that my insurance is very good, but I've definitely been in the situation where you simply can't get the help you need. Do you think you could contact the people at the hospital? I don't know where you live but usually they have good networks at the hospital

 

[Pencil]

Hi Maelstrom, no my situation is completely different. I am a single mother, and although one therapist wanted me to go on an eight week inpatient programme, I couldn't, as I have to make all decisions around my 7 yo daughter. Besides, as I said, I am the breadwinner, so I need to earn and pay rent - there is no way I could drop everything. I also don't have insurance, and therefore I had to stop therapy after 8 sessions as I couldn't afford to continue - therapy destabilised me to the point where I couldn't focus on work - and as I do freelance work, I need to be very focused.

Sorry, it is a depressing story. But, that's the way it is.

I could relate to where you are now as I miss my ex-therapist the way you miss hospital - and your story made me think of how difficult it might have been for me had I gone there for 8 weeks.

 

[maelstrom]

I'm so sorry to hear this Pencil! I wish I knew ways to make it better but I don't know it myself. My insurance is also about to expire and it's expensive to afford another so I'm anxious as well. Being a single mother with a young child and having to go through what you go through must be extremely tough. Do you have anyone at all you can rely on, friends or relatives? Also I know some churches can offer support free of charge even if you are not religious, though I'm not sure about this and I don't know if it's true in your area. Please utilize online support like the forums here at least, and I hope that something will come up to help you. Also, a 8-week program may be too much, but how about something like a week? There are a lot of people at my hospital who are there only for a crisis. Although I stayed longer, a lot of them stayed for only 3-7 days.

If you are in a crisis, you should probably consider it if you can have family or friends take care of your daughter for a while, because your life is more important than anything. If you are suicidal/unsafe or depressed to the point of being disabled, then it would be bad for your daughter as well. I know medicare, etc. cover some psychiatric hospitalizations in the US, and a lot of patients I met there are actually from low-income backgrounds and went to shelters afterwards. If your ex-therapist is a good one and really cares, then you could probably ask him/her for suggestions? They probably have dealt with this kind of problem before and may be able to refer you to appropriate resources. I wish you best of luck.

 

[Pencil]

If you are in a crisis

Hi Maelstrom

Thanks for your response. No, fortunately I'm way past the crisis, which lasted from August till about March - it was a really, really tough time.

The reason I told you about it was really just to let you know that I relate to not having any emotional bond. Of course I have a bond with my daughter, but it is not the same as having a supportive adult in the world who understands. It is at times difficult to read posts that include references to a spouse, parent, therapist and so on.

I'm doing okay. Just telling you that I know it can be very difficult.

I'm glad you went to hospital, and that you were taken care of. I've heard some horror stories about psych wards, with uncaring staff and frustration, and so on.

Hang in there

 

[Annieoak]

Hi Maelstrom,

I heard horror stories too about mental institutes. It is a money racket, all about money to keep drug companies in business. I would never go to a psychiatrist, they are part of that system, and they get a fee when they prescribe drugs. Research indicates that most people who are given these crazy drugs for ptsd, depression, etc, don't get better. Also, taking these drugs can make people worse, not better. I have looked into the Charter of Rghts and Freedom and Human Rights law, and we have rights as patients to speak up and say "No" to the prescription given. Don't accept it.