Relationship Wishy Washy Or A Part Of Ptsd?

[knj2015]

Thanks it means a lot to know it is helpful for you.
I wished I would have been able to talk, any co...

I hope it is helping you to post and share. You seem very open and honest. That's a good thing. As I've said before, it's just very hard on this end. He says our relationship is on the back burner at the moment. He can't handle distractions until he gets what needs to be done finished. He did talk to his attorney about his kids, etc. There isn't much he can do or accomplish before he is deployed. I feel bad for him because he loves his kids so much and his ex is just horrible. I have heard worse stories though. Sometimes I wonder if I should just walk away. It hurts every time he says he could just be alone. I feel like I've put all I have into this and he doesn't. You referred to bad days. With his ex, he's had a lot of bad days. Because of her, he was so depressed and missed so much work. Now his job is on the line and that's one more bad thing to add to his list. I feel like we don't get a break with the outside stuff. He can't guarantee he will get better and he feels bad that I'm here 'waiting'. I am beginning to worry that it won't get better. But until he can fix his relationship with his kids and get the heat off of him at work, There's no effort to be with me. :cry:

 

[Esterio]

I hope it is helping you to post and share. You seem very open and honest. That's a good thing. As I...

It helps me to talk about all of this. Sometimes it is really difficult for me to comment. You are also in a difficult position just what can you do. I know now that the only way forward for me is therapy and therapy is really difficult to get through.
Talking with you has had some input in my therapy talking about isolation and communication. I really think now that the only way we can get answers is to communicate. With out communication we don't have a hope in hell. Not only for people with PTSD but with everyone. If we don't have communications what have we got?
I also think that we can only take on so much and then there is no more capacity in our brains for more. Some times the thoughts going through my head are going at such a speed I hardly know what is what. It makes no sense it is at hyper speed, anything that is bothering me is just piled on top nothing makes sense. They pile on and pile on until you break and have to pick yourself up and start all over again. That is the way my life has been now for several years not sure how long but it is decades now.
So now I am trying to move forward and I know I can not help myself on my own I need help. I hope I am not setting myself up for more grief reliving all the crap in my past. I hope I am able to process it all this time and move on.
Peace be safe