Sufferer Woman With Ptsd Since 1997

[cuppycakes1975]

I've had PTSD and PTPD too since 1997 , it's all I know , I have no coping mechanisms and just learn how to carry on , this was brought on by abduction and rape. I started to get help yesterday as my self harming was too much and getting out of control , so I was told I needed help but I have tried to get help for the past 2 1/2 years but always told I'm to complex for them and they left until somebody actually somebody could help me and deal with my memory losses (disassociation). I have come here to find other PTSD sufferers and ppl who help ppl who care for us. :tdown: I hope somebody's out there to talk too :) . I wish everybody the best . Wendy[DOUBLEPOST=1399021864,1399021646][/DOUBLEPOST]Sorry I meant I have PTSD and PTPD - post traumatic personality disorder .xx

 

[Sibhv]

Hi Wendy, I understand some therapists are not able to deal with this issue because they have no knowledge of ptsd. Memory loss is a common symptom, well it definitely was for me. It's a survival thing the brain does, if a memory is too painful it is locked away in the brain so we can try deal with life in front of us. But the memory bubbles away in the depths of the subconscious. If I'm too stressed or overly hyper vigilant I blank. I know I do! And I try to deal with the stress or the situation before I hit that. The self harming is like trying to let the painful thoughts out because they can't find another way. I find running and lifting weights a great way to release that energy. And I draw, I believe that I am allowed to draw anything doesn't matter how dark or how technically not good but I am allowed draw for me only. Its a coping technique. Find something that helps you get it out of you that's not harmful to yourself. And don't worry about the memory loss, it's not good to have too many memories all at once and don't ever let an therapist push you to remember, you will in your own time. Wishing all the best x

 

[cuppycakes1975]

Hi there sibhv , thank you so much for replying I'm so greatful for that, yes the memory losses I have last from 2 to 26 hrs of no memory what so ever , the only thing I ask for is my baby that died and my dog I had to put to sleep but no knowledge of my name or anything of my life , I was told memory loss was very rare to the ppl I went to see and even used the videos I got my care to record they wanted it to us for training and to learn from, so t was hard and has been hard to find the right service but now I have I can start to work on my self harming first as it's a main concern, I hope you are well and it's good to hear I'm not alone , it means so much to me and hope we can talk more , it all makes sence what you said and it's a relief , xxxx

 

[Hashi]

Welcome to the forum, @cuppycakes1975.

I'm sorry for what you've experienced, and that the people you sought help from before couldn't help you. I hope your recent attempt to get support will lead to much more helpful things. There are therapist out there who can deal with the intensity of our trauma and its effects. You deserve to get help with this.

I hope that being here on the forum will help you too.

 

[cuppycakes1975]

@Hashi thank you so much for messaging me and it's very kind of you to wish me the help I deserve, it's so nice to know I'm not alone and people on here are good to talk too, I wish the best for you too. X

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome. :)

 

[cuppycakes1975]

Thank you so much , it's great to be here

 

[intothelight]

Hi Wendy,

Welcome to the forum!

At one point I also had a therapist who thought I was too complicated to treat, and honestly, I wasn't too complicated, she just didn't have the skills. Even when it appears that others are giving up on you, don't give up on yourself. Keep looking for someone that specializes in trauma as they can make a world of difference in your treatment.

Debbie

 

[cuppycakes1975]

Thanks Debbie , at the moment there assessing me so just got to see what can be done, thank you so much, hope you're well x

 

[Ivan the Elder]

The word "complex" when applied to a patient by doctors or counsellors is a "code word" that means the patient is hard to deal with for whatever reasons. It means they don't like trying to treat you, very possibly because they aren't competent to help you. If you hear your case described that way it is a good time to try and find somebody else for treatment.

They entire idea of having to deal with rape is something I have a very hard time imagining. It must be incredibly terrible to have your own person violated to that degree. I have always had a wide personal space and I don't like anybody getting too close without my express permission and invitation. About the only thing I can think to suggest is about your self harm problems. I am not a doctor of any kind but I have studied psychology. I suspect you may be directing the harm at yourself because you somehow feel guilty about the rape. Just try to remember that when it comes to rape you are never the guilty person. No always means NO.

 

[Ghostybear73]

Welcome to the forum :)

 

[Friday]

Welcome @cuppycakes1975 :) 1997 was the beginning of my journey, also!

Have to disagree with you about Complex, @Evan. Complex describes a certain kind of trauma(s), some examples below (type, rather than duration). It is important to note, however that complex trauma & complex PTSD (not an actual diagnosis), are 2 different things. It honestly isn't something that most therapists are trained or equipped to deal with. We've got a whole subforum for it over in Traumas & Stressors!

What Is Complex Trauma?

This is what Anthony wrote in his article on complex trauma

"Whilst PTSD requires abnormally traumatic events as diagnostic criterion (and though complex trauma is entangled within that requirement), the PTSD diagnosis fails to concede to the longevity and duration that complex trauma encapsulates. Examples of trauma which fit the criteria for CPTSD include:

• Physical abuse - ongoing, typically administered within a family or by caregiver / Domestic Violence (DV).
• Sexual abuse - ongoing, typically administered within a family or by caregiver / friends of family / DV.
• Imprisonment - prisoner of war / incarceration / forcible confinement for long periods of time.
• Repeated tours in combat.
• Other possibilities."