Won’t my therapist see me?

[Scott88]

@Emotional girl thank you

 

[Scott88]

Really struggling this morning :cry: terrible nightmares last night this is soooo shit I can’t stop thinking about my old T aswell I need him. I thought I had accepted he has gone but with how I’m feeling right now I just need him to tell me it’s going to be ok finding it sooo damn hard to keep myself grounded

 

[Emotional girl]

How are you feeling today ? When do you see your new therapist next?

 

[Scott88]

@Emotional girl seeong him in a few days, I’m just in a rut and just feel like I really can’t get out of it, it’s hit me far far to hard this. Made my symptoms sky high just really struggling I just want to be ok, I just want all of this to go away, I just wish I could press a reset button and all the bad stuff disappear

 

[Abstract]

You are doing really well as you still went to therapy and you are still committed to getting better. Changes like you are experiencing are really hard so be patient with yourself. Did you manage to talk about your old t in your last session? And does your new t know you opening uo for the first time ever in that last session with him and you are now left with the aftermath?

 

[Emotional girl]

As @Abstract has said you are doing really and the fact that you want to carry on with therapy is a positive thing.
Your feelings are not going to disappear over night and that is why it is important that you talk to your new therapist about the way you are feeling and hopefully they will be able to help you with dealing with your feelings and emotions.

 

[Scott88]

@Abstract @Emotional girl thank you once again.. yeah I did speak about my old T and yes my new T knows the score with what happened with me opening up, the new T said that we’re going to concentrate on stabilisation before we go anywhere near it but it’s here haunting me day in day out, but I don’t want to talk about it again I can’t talk about it again, i can’t let it out to anybody else this feeling knowing it’s out there and my old t abandoned me after I spoke to him, I don’t want to relive it more then I am doing now. I’m just so scared, I’m just scared that I will never be able to get rid of this, I don’t know how I will ever be able to forget all this. I know all you and everybody else are survivors/ working through the same problems, and i want to be ok I want to know how I can be ok like people here that have been through it, how are you people ok? I just can’t see it, every time I hear a sireon I think the police are coming because I told my T what happened to me in the past, oh I’m rambling on now and I’m sorry, I’m sorry I just don’t know what to do :cry:

 

[Emotional girl]

I really think when you are ready you need to talk about abandonment with your new therapist.
I have massive abandonment and attachment issues and I am coming to the end of my therapy sessions and I am absolutely petrified but as my therapist pointed out to me my abandonment problems are not just about him they are about my childhood.
I am not saying that it is the same for you as obviously I do not know your life story but slowly but surely you will start to let your new therapist in and hopefully this time they will help you with all of your issues.
Who knows you might end up having an even better relationship with this new therapist but in order to do that you have to let them in.I know it is difficult but you can do it.

 

[Scott88]

@Emotional girl im sorry you are coming to the end and how your feeling about that. I know I need to let him in I am just absolutely petrified. I’m back there in a few days.. I’ve wrote lots of things down as I am so rubbish at talking but we will see if I share any of it with him.. it did help writing things down