Work trouble

whiteraven

MyPTSD Pro
The plan was to tender my resignation tomorrow. I've been super anxious all day thinking about it. I want to quit - I need to quit - but I can't figure out what to do about a job. I've applied for a few...a couple more this evening...and I've taken a test - which was pretty hard - for a remote position.

I'm terrified that I won't be able to make enough to live on. I'm terrified of not leaving.

I feel trapped. And sometimes like the only way through is out.
 

whiteraven

MyPTSD Pro
Oh what a difference a day makes. So, .I called in sick this morning (I was very, very nauseated) and remembered that a place I worked once over a season had recruiting sessions over a few days. I checked and there was one this afternoon, so I downloaded and filled out the application and went.

I took the tests, did an interview, and they are putting me down for the first project. :-)

She said she needed to check a few things, but didn't see any problem at all. It's grading/scoring essays that are part of standardized tests...I did it before and really liked it and the environment. You have to have a least a Bachelor's and everyone there is always so nice and, when we would go on break, they'd be talking about politics and books and staying away from all the typical office drama.

It's way less than what I make now, it's only temporary, and the hours are during the day, which means therapy is out for awhile and I have to figure out how to get my cat to chemo. But even with all that, I'm kind of excited about it. It's going to be hard for awhile and I think my therapist will work something out for me (he's already said he wants to do pro bono for however long it takes). But I think this will be very good for me in the long run.

Planning on turning in my resignation tomorrow. Very, very nervous about that. But I really don't know why. It's a good thing.
 

Sideways

Sponsor
I think it's a great thing - handing in your resignation, with something positive to move forward to is a heaps better position to be in. Hope you get to put their shitty treatment of you in your rear view mirror soon.
 

GrayOwl

MyPTSD Pro
I left 18 years of toxic abuse March 21 of 2018. 18 years of physical, mental, emotional & financial attacks that left me devastated and ultimately homeless. The job was worse than the consequences. It was their policy to abuse and terminate employees, unbeknownst to most. Had I not left I might have been destroyed. I found a job in a healing environment. The pay has increased to a welcome level and I am making do quite nicely - much to my surprise. So...…....
Many things have changed since I ultimately left, almost all for the better. My health and ptsd are improving. I'm happier. The dread and fear of financial insecurity and the unknown, were overwhelmed by the relief I felt being freed from the oppressive job environment. Everything else has worked out adequately to well. My fears were unnecessary - purely. I think yours will be too. Your cats land on their feet, you will too.
Other opportunities have presented themselves to me as well; having been freed from the emotional shackles of bullies and a toxic work environment. Unanticipated growth and healing have accompanied that.
I seem to be drawn toward bullies and toxic environments. I'm learning not to be drawn; not to fight unnecessarily, not to run either - but to wisely plot career choices and other choices that steer me away from bullies and in to safer harbors. They are out there. They do exist. Keep us posted as you enjoy greater peace of mind. And I'm sure with your skills there are many jobs out there for you. Thank you for sharing.
 

whiteraven

MyPTSD Pro
Thank you, @GrayOwl! Are you sure you didn't work at my company? Sounds exactly like my situation. 16+ years here.

I am officially unemployed. Medical insurance expires at midnight. My direct manager said nothing to me today. The director never acknowledged that I resigned. HR didn't contact me for the traditional exit interview, nor the wrapping up of stuff.

My older cat is so sick. I don't think she is going to get better. My younger with lymphoma - it feels like everything is caving in.

Yes, I know there can be better days ahead. It hasn't completely hit me yet, but I know not being *there* will lift an incredible burden.
 

GrayOwl

MyPTSD Pro
The lessons I learned whilst employed in Hell...…..?
I never thought I would witness such triage and cruelty outside of a combat zone.
I guess I wanted to stay naïve and innocent all my life. And I wish I could have.
But good lessons learned. And wisdom gained.
Power. Wealth. Fame. Glory. None of these have any value.
At the end of the day I can always want for more of them.
Serenity. Happiness. Shelter. Friendship. Compassion.
At the end of any day, if "I" am in the right place, I can have all I need of any of those.

I am so sorry to hear of illness in your companions. Sounds like you all need each other now. Good things will happen.
I'll keep you all in my prayers.

I've never been around cats till recent. I'm living with three now. They are training me well. And it's a blessing in my life.
Smuckers. Jiffy. And Kiwi.
Take care.
 
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