Work trouble

[Deanna]

I get what you're saying here. And actually, an office does act kind of like a small town. :-( It doesn't matter if it's garbage; I will not be able to defend myself or provide a different perspective. And in the course of it all - if I were to stay - the level of stress and depression, etc... will be way more than I care to carry.

All that said, I have been job-hunting. It ven more trapped and like there is no positive way out of this.

Hey....apply anywhere where there is animals. That always lifts our spirits. You weren't happy at that job anyway..so you don't have to lie to yourself anymore.

 

[Deanna]

Sorry.. Half of my post was erased. I type on a phone because I like to and the site bounces all over the place.. But as I was saying.. Post your insecurities here. Put an add in Craigslist for dog walking or anything animal. Thats a huge business.. Anything to take time off. Hang out here for awhile. See your options on healthcare for your state.. It'll work out. The only one that feels like a failure is you. We are here for you!

I've been self-employed for 30 somethng years. Not much money by a long shot.. But I have a small roof over my bills are paid. I've had PTSD my whole life and never been diagnosed ( lovely) I'm getting ready to file for disability.

I was in an office for ten years and couldn't do it anymore. Just couldn't..

 

[whiteraven]

I was in an office for ten years and couldn't do it anymore. Just couldn't..

Sometimes I feel like a complete failure because I can't do it. I mean, I was in one office 15 years and this one 16. I guess that's my limit. LOL

I seriously have no readily-available money. I have begun to develop a business that is animal-related, but not anything that will bring much in for a long while. I did apply for a remote position today and am looking every day for stuff. The more I think about that job, the more anxious and upset I feel.

Like I'm slowly being shredded from the inside out.

I never thought about CraigsList. Maybe I'll take a look.

 

[Deanna]

Sometimes I feel like a complete failure because I can't do it. I mean, I was in one office 15 years and this one 16. I guess that's my limit. LOL

I seriously have no readily-available money. I have begun to develop a business that is animal-related, but not anything that will bring much in for a long while. I did apply for a remote position today and am looking every day for stuff. The more I think about that job, the more anxious and upset I feel.

Like I'm slowly being shredded from the inside out.

I never thought about CraigsList. Maybe I'll take a look.

A veterinaria's office? A shelter's office ( hearing animals in the background) when I adopted my cat ( cat hanging upside down in my avatar) she had to be spayed and microchiped. That's paperwork. Side job is walking animals. You're allowed to do anything that u want. Part time in an office.. Part time pet sitting. You need an outlet..

 

[whiteraven]

A veterinaria's office? A shelter's office ( hearing animals in the background) when I adopted my cat ( cat hanging upside down in my avatar) she had to be spayed and microchiped. That's paperwork. Side job is walking animals. You're allowed to do anything that u want. Part time in an office.. Part time pet sitting. You need an outlet..

Agreed. Money (and what those places pay) is an issue. It's hard to be at a job for 16 years and then just quit. Gotta make enough to live on and often getting a new job means getting a serious cut in pay. I can't really afford that right now. I've found a couple of freelance sites that have pretty good proofreading jobs I can bid on, though, so I might be able to supplement a lower-paying position with that.

It's nice not being there this evening and having the next two days off.

 

[Whirlwind]

I'm starting to feel even more trapped and like there is no positive way out of this.

I'm just reading your situation....are you working in a contract position, union or "employee at will". Protect your privacy but is this sm business, large, government....?

I may be able to offer you some advice/strategy. I have seen some interesting bargaining chips played in these situations.

Stay calm and when it comes to talking to HR/Mangers ... less is more. Do not engage until you have a strategy in mind.

Best,

Whirlwind

 

[grit]

losing a job is one of the highest stressful for anyone...regardless of trauma or other extra stressors so good for you actually processing and working through this in this forum at least. I am really hopeful for you and hope you are for yourself deep down somewhere. I think you are not asking for advice but I will throw one out and just ignore if it grates on your nerves.

DO NOT QUIT!

lf anything, let them fire you with severance package or something if you are permanent employee or even temp. Sometimes even the worst companies they do little bit of that to make their own guilt at ease. Let them do that so you do not end up beating yourself after when the stress passes that you made a big decision under duress.

I had an experience where the manager was such a nasty bitch for 3 months, cut all communication and treated me like a garbage and I stuck out because I knew she was going to can me any day and of course she did and though I was shocked when I heard, I honestly felt so relieved cause the anticipation was worse than the actual termination...if that makes sense. I slept like a baby after that termination and started to get serious looking for work with clear mind...she consumed me before that like cat and mouse chase.

I do not know your full situation or your skills or your professional affiliations but regardless you are human and this situation sounds very anxiety induced and just unbearable. Hope you keep your head up. It is not about you. I mean that. they would do this to anyone they feel at any company. you are not alone.

Just do the best that you can and stay professional and watch your reaction to them and stay on your own perspective rather than seeing yourself from their perspective. you are good human being who deserves to be here just as everybody else and they are not better or higher than you. They are just people and they can also get anxious and be let go tomorrow. keep it perspective.

The future is not always as same as the past.

Good luck and all the best.

 

[whiteraven]

are you working in a contract position, union or "employee at will". Protect your privacy but is this sm business, large, government....?

At will.

DO NOT QUIT!

Hm...I hear and understand you here, but...

lf anything, let them fire you with severance package or something if you are permanent employee or even temp. Sometimes even the worst companies they do little bit of that to make their own guilt at ease. Let them do that so you do not end up beating yourself after when the stress passes that you made a big decision under duress.

I've been here before. With other companies. And I've seen what they do to people at this job. My anxiety level significantly decreased (and I temporarily stopped looking at suicide as an option) when I made the decision to leave. It will only get worse the longer I stay. I'm not prepared to lose my position (and they indicated that's the direction we are headed in), nor am I ready to be cut down by management, based on something somebody lied to them about. It all makes me feel very out-of-control and unable to see any value in what I do and who I am.

I do not know your full situation or your skills or your professional affiliations but regardless you are human and this situation sounds very anxiety induced and just unbearable. Hope you keep your head up. It is not about you. I mean that. they would do this to anyone they feel at any company. you are not alone.

Thank you. Thanks to everyone!

 

[whiteraven]

Ok, I've applied for two positions, one remote and one...not. There's no indication of shift hours or pay, so I'm hoping they will call and I can get a better idea. I'm very qualified for both - I've done the same (but different for each) for years, so no worries there.

 

[Whirlwind]

I'm not prepared to lose my position (and they indicated that's the direction we are headed in), nor am I ready to be cut down by management, based on something somebody lied to them about. It all makes me feel very out-of-control and unable to see any value in what I do and who I am.

Your situation is super stressful, I get it, believe me.

But leaving may be best but why not do it in your best interests? :-)

Ok, employee at will. But you've worked there a long time, correct?

Not an easy question nor do you have to answer but are they justified in letting you go? You can answer or not.

some things to consider....if you quit you are not entitled to unemployment which based on what i understand you are entitled.

I have personally witnessed and represented many folks who were fired for utterly crap reasons. You aren't the first and we have a terrible joke that everyone should get fired once :-) And sometimes screwing up and getting let go...can just mean its time for a change. On the other hand we used to say sometimes success if perseverence. Managers come and go, cultures change. Sometimes it is time to go so do so in your interests.

If you really think they want you gone...and you actually want to go. That is a sweet spot which you do not have to share.

I have seen folks agree to part voluntarily...and/or terminated by the company;

Things that can be negotiated......

severance (even if you think you can't)
reference letters
fired being reduced to "position eliminated" "staff reductions" etc
postponed termination
change in job/position/title w/o pay reduction

etc etc

Just as an example. This can actually be a win win but the "tension" needs to be alleviated. Do you have an advocate of any kind in the company? I do not mean HR. Please also keep in mind sometimes some unfortunate climates try to pressure staff into quitting...its cheaper for the organization. I have seen folks talked into early retirement..aka pressured. It was not in the employees interest and it pained me to see this happen.

Just my 0.02 for now but this is a process that does not need to be rushed, take your time and consider all of your options.

You can get a low cost lawyer call your state referral line...depending upon the state for about $35 if not a pro bono consult. Seriously consider this, it may be the best spent $35.

Wishing you the best,

W

 

[whiteraven]

Ok, employee at will. But you've worked there a long time, correct?

yes.

Not an easy question nor do you have to answer but are they justified in letting you go? You can answer or not.

no. at least as far as i know. someone told them a bunch of stuff about me which was likely a lie, but in management's mind, they are more credible than i am. so to them, maybe.

Things that can be negotiated......

severance (even if you think you can't)
reference letters
fired being reduced to "position eliminated" "staff reductions" etc
postponed termination
change in job/position/title w/o pay reduction

this is a great list, but management here does not negotiate. i've been involved with them for a long while and if they don't want you around, you will be gone.

Just my 0.02 for now but this is a process that does not need to be rushed, take your time and consider all of your options.

yeah, ok. thanks for taking the time to respond!

 

[Whirlwind]

but management here does not negotiate

Believe me sometimes the stress isn't worth it but....unless you have been in negotiations as a manager or labor relations. You would be surprised what actually goes on. I routinely witnessed false info fed to managers that an employee did not settle...when in fact they did for a tidy sum and perks. Even "lower level staff" so don't assume you don't have negotiating power.

I'll leave it unless you have questions but consider going to see a lawyer it really is worth it.

But more than anything good luck and be well!

Whirlwind