Wow- Maybe Not Ptsd The First Time

[Notsowild]

Depersonalization (or depersonalisation) is an anomaly of self-awareness. It consists of a feeling of watching oneself act, while having no control over a situation.[1] Subjects feel they have changed, and the world has become vague, dreamlike, less real, or lacking in significance. It can be a disturbing experience, since many feel that, indeed, they are living in a "dream".

This is how I felt before my car accident. It started out as a major panic attack and then this. I don't remember flashbacks or nightmares like now.

Though degrees of depersonalization and derealization can happen to anyone who is subject to temporary anxiety/stress, chronic depersonalization is more related to individuals who have experienced a severetrauma or prolonged stress/anxiety.

Was I misdiagnosed the first time?

 

[radicalgratitude]

I am a little confused by what you wrote. Are you asking if you were misdiagnosed with PTSD?

Also, if you were experiencing depersonalization prior to your car accident, perhaps something happened earlier in life that led to this.

 

[Notsowild]

@radicalgratitude
Sorry if I was confusing. No I was severely abused my whole childhood. Life was going along alright then out of nowhere I started getting major panic attacks. And also like I was in a dreamlike state. I was told it was PTSD and then I came across this and it sounds more like me.

Oh I definetly got PTSD after the car accident. I have flashbacks, nightmares and insomnia. Plus the anxiety about driving.

Now I have both???

 

[radicalgratitude]

Oh that clarifies it. No, you don't have both. Depersonalization as well as derealization is part of PTSD. It's the dissociation part of it.

I am sorry to hear about your abuse. I hope this makes you feel better. In the same vein, if you come across anxiety disorders, such as Generalized Anxiety Disorder, you don't have PTSD and GAD. PTSD is the king of anxiety disorders (the worst of them), so you'll recognize yourself in the others too.

 

[Notsowild]

Okay then dumb question? Why did I not have flashbacks, nightmares and hypervigilance the first time?

 

[radicalgratitude]

Not a dumb question. The cool thing about our brains is that we only start remembering (flashbacks and nightmares) when we are ready. We dissociate beginning with the traumatic event itself---it's how we survived. Not sure about the hypervigilance being delayed but I would think that would be connected to memories.

 

[Notsowild]

Chronic depersonalization refers to depersonalization disorder, which is classified by the DSM-IV as a dissociative disorder

So they do call it a disorder by itself not related to PTSD. Right?

 

[anthony]

When you have PTSD, they now have a subtype for it. The DSM IV is outdated, the DSM V now includes the subtype for depersonalisation and derealisation.

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

I totally agree with @radicalgratitude. What your experiencing is very common with trauma and PTSD. The delay is classic.

I know what you must be feeling right now. At least I think I do or maybe I'm projecting.

Here.

When someone has been shaken at their core and suffers from PTSD, it is so common to feel like they are going crazy. Dissociating is very scary. It's not fun.

Experiencing depersonalization and derealization after a severely abusive childhood is very common.

You're not crazy. It's not your fault.

 

[Notsowild]

Oh okay thanks @radicalgratitude,@anthony and @StrongerNow

I guess I'm just reading too much. It is strange that all the symptoms of my first trauma are so much different than this one.

 

[anthony]

[DLMURL]https://www.myptsd.com/c/articles/posttraumatic-stress-disorder.7/[/DLMURL]

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

Not everyone experiences all of the symptoms of PTSD.

I experience different symptoms with each trauma, but I meet the criteria. That's a good link Anthony posted. Reading too much? Nah. It's good to educate yourself.

But your fear of having something other than PTSD is quite common. For me, feeling like I'm going crazy is an internal trigger because I so often felt that way during the trauma when I was gaslighted.

Have you spoken to your doctor about this?