Writing When You Can't Verbally Express Things

[barefoot]

@GWhizz - maybe not having time to plan/prepare is a good thing...takes a bit of pressure off...just see what happens naturally...?

If it helps to reduce some anxiety beforehand, it won't hurt to jot down some points if you get a chance. Then you know you have it as a back up and you can decide during your session whether/how you want to share it. And whether you use what you've written in session or not...it really doesn't matter.

The important thing is that you do what you feel is comfortable. If you don't feel comfortable to share what you've written or to speak or whatever, just remember that there's a reason for that.

Wishing you all the best for your session tomorrow.

 

[ghotiff]

@GWhizz

I'm offering a suggestion from my own experience so take it or leave it if it's not right for you...

Rather than plan for your next T session to discuss hard stuff, consider planning to discuss trivial stuff (eg the weather) with the goal of not being anxious or feeling the need to prepare (which is probably the need to feel you have maintained control). If you want to discuss anything heavy, I would limit it to discussion of your anxiety around your appointments.

I no longer get anxious before seeing my T. It's a great feeling, but it came after building lots of trust which takes time.

Hope that helps. Please ignore it if it doesn't.

 

[GWhizz]

Thanks guys. The problem is that every time we meet she asks me to bring up topics from the week before. This is something my last T never did. We just moved forward unless I wanted to bring something up out of my own accord. So last week when she asked about the week before, I wanted to try to be more thorough about my self-harming risk but I couldn't go back to it. So I'm thinking maybe I should write this down at least.

 

[ghotiff]

she asks me to bring up topics from the week before

You don't have to you know :)

You can anwser that prompt with..."I'd rather discuss...."

 

[GWhizz]

Well it was a mess - my worst session yet. I couldn't discuss anything. Didn't show her my note even. Had a big breakdown as I walked out and then a panic attack in the car I felt so suffocated. Not feeling good right now. Didn't help that I got less than an hour of sleep last night.

 

[ghotiff]

I'm sorry it didn't go well.

This comment called out to me as something to explore further, but maybe now is not the time, so I won't comment unless you ask me to.

I felt so suffocated

 

[barefoot]

Really sorry to hear that the session didn't go well. Hope you managed more sleep last night and that you're feeling a little better today?

 

[Suzetig]

That sounds horrible, especially knowing you had planned how to share and had high hopes for the session. I feel for you.

Sometimes I know I've really thought about how I'm going to talk about something "big", built it up in my head and then completely shut down in session. It's so hard but I've found that going back next time and talking about what happened does help. I spent ages talking around what I needed to say and even now don't always do the work I needed to/wanted to do because it simply feels too hard.

Trust yourself to know what you can cope with - your heart and mind will set a pace it can deal with, frustrating as that may be when you just want to get it all out there and dealt with. I have no doubt you'll have many more sessions like this along the way, it's not a linear process where one week builds on the last, my experience is that it's more "one step forward, two steps back" though recently it's felt a bit like "two steps forward, one back" which is progress I suppose.

Go easy on yourself, you're dealing with difficult stuff.